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Topics - lostandlonely

#1
Second Families / bad situation. very confused.
Sep 17, 2009, 09:06:09 PM
ok so i will try and make this as short and simple as possible.
ive never been in this situation before so i would like help and hopefully not a lot of criticism.

first and foremost, my bf is STILL legally married. the divorce is NOT final.
hes only been married a year and a half and has a 6 month old daughter with his wife. they have been have problems since before his daughter was born and his wife has been out of the house since shortly after his daughter was born. he just recently filed the divorce papers and got this whole thing started. the wife knows about me (hates me, but rightly stated) and ive been by his side the whole time. it has not been easy for him, nor for me, but thats besides the point, all i want to do is help him.
so, i was wondering if i can get some advice for his sake. his wife goes back and forth on wanting him back and "hating" him and wanting him back and so on. when she wants him back his options to see his daughter are open, but when she hates him, she prevents him from seeing his daughter, although they have NO temporary custody arrangements. she claims that his daughter cannot go to his house or sleep over until she is old enough to talk, i dont know why, but thats what she claims. or she says if he wants to be with me then he can forget about his daughter, which i understand why she would feel that way, but is not fair for HIM and HIS DAUGHTER. all of the times she prevents him from seeing her ive told him to log so that when they do go court he has proof that he has tried to see his daughter on however many occasions and shes prevented him.
she also frequently sends him threatening messages, of wishing he was dead and things of those sorts, which ive also suggested he log for when they do to court.
i do not live with my him, nor have i ever met his daughter do to his wifes wishes. although, he is trying to get me to move in with him to help him and support him with everything, because as of now i am living out of state.

i just need help, for me and for him. i have never been in a situation like this before and just need a little advice, and like i said id appreciate not being criticized for the decisions ive made and am making.

thank you.