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I haven't posted in a long while but would like to start out saying that SPARC is responsible for everything I have learned and used in our experience with fighting for custody and child support with regards to my SD who is now 7.

Our current battle is regarding getting the DCSE to do their job in representing a father with custody.  Apparently it is a novelty to have a father with custody in their office because even the forms my husband filled out to apply where geared towards the mother.  On every line he had to cross out "mother" and write in "father" on the DCSE application.

Here's a little history...

BM sent my SD to live with us in Arizona in March of 2004.  (BM lives in Nevada, 800 miles away.)

BM required my husband to continue to pay his court ordered child support obligation (per Nevada Child Support Order) for almost 2 years while SD was living in Arizona with no support and minimal contact from BM.

Finally in December of 2005, we were able to hire an attorney to go for custody in Arizona since there was no previous custody order.  In February of 2006, the Arizona court ordered that the BM could not remove my SD from the state until the custody hearing the following month.  My husband and BM ended up settling custody and visitation in mediation.  They agreed that SD would live primarily in Arizona with our family and have monthly and summer visits to BM in Nevada.

So in May of 2006, we had been in contact with the DCSE in Nevada trying to resolve some arrears still owed by my husband from the previous child support order.  He owed about 6 months worth of child support even though he had been taking care of my SD for 2 years and still paying BM.  The Nevada DCSE said they could not remove the balance owed without BM agreeing to close the case.  When we approached BM with the proposal, she would not remove the balance saying that the money was owed to her.  We then proceeded to initiate a child support case against BM in Arizona.

So now here we are today.  The Arizona DCSE requested that the Nevada DCSE initiate a case.  Our hearing is today over the phone.  We have been providing documentation and information left and right to the Nevada DCSE to prepare their case all the while believe that the Arizona DCSE provided the Nevada DCSE with all the information (court orders, etc.) we gave them.

Come to find out that the Nevada DCSE did not have any information we gave to the Arizona DCSE.  And that the Nevada DCSE believes that BM and my husband both have my SD for about 180 days per year!!! (Because that is what BM told them!!!)

When we found this out, we immediately faxed to the Nevada DCSE all the current court orders and visitation agreements stating that BM has my SD for about 104 days per year.

We're just nervous that because my husband is a father in a mother biased organization.  Even when he calls to talk about his case, the people he talks to are rude and short with him.  We are definitely feeling that there is discrimination by the DCSE against my husband in his pursuit to provide support his daughter.

Any words of wisdom or similar experience y'all can provide would be appreciated.  We will keep you posted as to the outcome of today's hearing!

(Sorry this is so long.  I tried to break it down and shorten as much as possible.  This case is just too complicated.)

Here are the facts:

My SD 5 has been living with us since March of 2004.  Her BM sent her to live with her father and I because the BM no longer had the money to take care of my SD and because BM is cronically ill.

History:

The BM has full custody of my SD.  The order was effective Sept. 2000 and was done in Carson City County of Carson City, Nevada. The order is very vague and does not specify in great detail what rights my husband has.  Here's what it says:

"Defendent is found to be the father of the said minor child by admission.  The defendant's name is on the child's birth certificate.

The parties have had shared custody from time of birth to present.  There is no custodial order, thus mother is custodial parent by operation of law until further order of the court."

Note: My husband raised her from the two weeks old to almost 2 years old.  She was born Nov. 1999.  Even after the order was effective the BM did not pick up her daughter, instead she left her with BF for the majority of the time until he decided to move to Arizona with me in August of 2001.  All the while she was expecting child support payments for the child she didn't even have most of the time.

The order goes on to talk about child support, medical insurance, and payment methods.  It also states that
"This order may be reviewed every (3) years and is subject to future modifications, pursuant to NRS 125B.145."

It does not make any mention of visitation or what rights my husband has to his child.  This means that we have been walking on eggshells with the BM and taking whatever time we can get with her, no matter what the cost.

Present Situation:

So when the BM sent SD here to Arizona to live with BF and I, she stated that it was for a "visit" and she still required my husband to pay his child support of $300 per month (in addition to actually taking care of his daughter).

SD has been back to Nevada to visit her BM, sister, and brother, a couple of times over the past year, once for a month, and once for a couple of weeks.  Both of which we paid for entirely.

Now, BM has had an operation to help her feel better which has apparently worked for the moment.  This past week she emailed me saying that she wanted SD back in June, after her and her new boyfriend (she was divorced 3 weeks ago) buy a house.  (Since last November BM has been homeless and living with her mom, uncle, and two kids in a two bedroom duplex.  BM also just told me that her new boyfriend just moved in there too.)  BM wants SD back just in time for SD to start kindergarten.

Sending my SD back concerns us for a few reasons:

1. BM is still not stable financially.  She is always stating that she is broke and cannot even afford to buy half of the ticket for herself to come here to visit her daughter.  (We offered to pay the other half.)

2. BM is not physically stable.  She has stated to me in email that she has been too sick to take care of her 3 children and that's why we have my SD.  (BM had the gastric bypass surgery about 3 years ago.  She did not take the required iron supplements to help her blood level stay normal. Her blood level dropped to 8 pints, which means she probably should have died.  She has managed to raised it to 11 pints, after extensive hospital stays.  This operation she had recently is supposed to help, but even she said that SD could be back in Arizona within 2 weeks of going back to Nevada if she gets sick again.  This is all in email.)

3. The BM's gastric bypass surgery has had some devastating mental effects on SD.  When SD first got to Arizona, SD would throw up after eating at least 4 times a week.  SD was 4 years old then!  The BM who was obese before the gastric bypass would comfort her and tell her that that is what happens when you eat too much, and SD had only eaten like 1/4 of a pancake.  Everytime BM saw SD, after SD had been staying in Arizona for awhile, BM would lift up her shirt and check to see if SD was getting too fat.  BF and I have come a long way with SD in the time she has been here developing healthy eating habbits, and we don't want SD to go back there for fear of SD ending up with an eating disorder for the rest of her life.


We now want to take BM to court for joint custody with SD's primary residence being in Arizona.  

We want to change the jurisdiction to Arizona since that is where the child has been living and because it would be harder for the BM to fight it here. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act states that jurisdiction can be changed after the child has resided in new location for over 6 months.  She has been here for a year.

Also the BM still lives in Nevada, but she lives in a different county than the original order was filed,  so the original court does not have jurisdiction even if SD still lived with BM.  The new order would have to be in Douglas County.

BF, SD, our son and I are moving into our new 3 BD/2 BA house on 3/31.  Both children will have there own room and share a bath.  SD has been attending preschool, but is starting a new school on 4/1 that has an excellent pre-school program that should prepare her for kindergarten here.  SD also attends gymnastics on a weekly basis and we are also looking into starting her on karate and soccer.  BM has never paid a dime for any of it.  We are still paying her $300 a month.  We have also secured health insurance for my SD besides what BM carries because it did not work in Arizona, although we pay monthly for BM's insurance for SD also.

Here are my questions:

1. We have been shopping for lawyers and they all seem to think different things about the case.  Some think it seems fairly simple and ask for a $1500 retainer, and others ask for a $10,000 stating that it would be a lot of work.  What do you think the about the complexity of the case based on the history, our present situation and what we want to gain in court?

2. What would you say is a reasonable retainer in this case?

3. What should our minimum experience requirement for a lawyer be to succeed in our case? i.e. should we go with someone with less or more experience, we really can't afford too much.  
(I currently go to the Unversity of Arizona full time and can only work 20 hours per week, my husband is the one who provides for all of us right now.  This will be the case until I graduate Dec. 2005 which will be too late to change this order.)

4. Do you think that filing for joint custody in Arizona is the right way to proceed?

5. Do you think that we could/would need to try to prove BM and unfit mother due to BM's cronic illness and SD's eating disorder?  

6.Also SD's 15 year old half-brother just got out of drug/alcohol rehab not too long ago.  Would/Should that come into play to help the primary residence of SD to be Arizona?


Thanks for your time and patience.

History:

My husband, (we were married in 2002), has a 4 year old daughter.  After she was born, my husband's ex (they were never married) handed her newborn over to him, and didn't take any responsibility for her for the next year of her life.  

After my SD turned 1, my husband's ex filed for custody in Nevada (where all parties lived at the time).  My husband lost miserably.  The "Hearing Master" wouldn't listen to anything my husband had to say, and gave full custody to his ex.  In the order, visitation is not even mentioned.

In 2000, my husband moved down to Arizona to be with me while I finish college.

Since then it has been a case of walking on eggshells in dealing with the BM in order to see my SD.  Now, there might be a ray of light at the end of the tunnel.  The BM took a new job at the state, thereby forfeiting her $16,000 is state support. (She has two older children by other men.)  The BM calls us up and asks if we can take my SD for an indefinite amount of time because she cannot pay for her daycare, food, care etc.

We fly her and an escort down here immediately.  The catch is that because my husband has no visitation in his order, he still has to pay the BM child support, even while she is with us.  That is why she sends here down here fairly frequently, in order to get "free money".

So to sum it up after she has been here six months (in February), we would like to put in for a change of jurisdiction from Nevada to Arizona.  I have read the laws concerning the matter and gathered that we have to get Nevada to release jurisdiction before Arizona will modify an existing order.

So here are my questions:

1. Do we have to file paperwork in Nevada or actually go to court in Nevada to get them to release jurisdiction? Or can we get Nevada to release jurisdiction from Arizona?

2. How advisable would it be to pursue this route? (If my husband does not gain custody, or at least regular visitation, it may be a long time before my husband ever sees his daughter again.)

3. If jurisdiction is moved to Arizona, would it be more likely that my husband would get full custody, as the BM does not live here and most likely would not even show up for the hearing?

Thanks for you help.

My 6 year old SD went to visit BM in Nevada (from Arizona) as ordered for Labor Day weekend visit.  She was supposed to return on Monday September 4th; however that didn't happen.

The week before the visit some little boys at SD's school said some bad things about my SD's relationship with my husband (SD's BF).  The sheriff and CPS was called to investigate per protocal.  SD denied the things that the little boys were saying and the sheriff's case was eventually closed.

During SD's visit to BM's house over Labor Day weekend, SD mentioned to BM that the cops had been talking to her at school.  BM freaks out, calls the Sheriff in Arizona and confirms that they had indeed spoken with SD that week, but could not give her any specific information.

So Monday the 4th rolls around and my husband and I are getting ready to drive to the airport to pickup my SD when BM calls my husband and states that SD will not be on the plane because she fears for SD's life and that she has a restraining order against my husband.  BM then hangs up on my husband and will not answer the phone when we tried to call back.

We immediately filed a police report in Arizona, however after about 12 hours of waiting we realized that they couldn't do much of anything because my SD was in Nevada.

Finally on the following Tuesday, we called the Nevada courthouse to check if indeed a restraining order had been filed and the woman on the phone said that one was being done at that very moment.  My husband flew up to Nevada that day.  Well to make a long story short...he filed a petition to dissolve the order in Nevada and on September 15th at the hearing the Judge did dissolve the restraining order based on BM's testimony being hearsay and that Nevada did not have jurisdiction over custody (because the custody order is in Arizona).

So now here we are, my SD is home, Thank God! But I have questions about what to do next.
We would like to file contempt charges against BM for not returning SD on specified day in the custody order.  In addition she refuses to reimburse us for transportation costs as specified in the order, and over the summer she did not adhere to the weekly allowance of phone calls my husband was suppose to have with my SD while she was visiting there.
Does anyone have any experience with this or something similar?  Ideally we would like to get the 12 days with my SD that this incident cost us back and make BM's visitation more strict.  Any thoughts?

I've used this site off and on over the past 5 years.  I really owe a lot of my knowledge concerning family law to this site and the resources it provides.

Today my husband and I were able to obtain a Temporary Restraining Order against my SD's BM.

SD has been living with us for 2 years, and because BM still had a Child Support order, she wanted my husband to keep paying this whole time.  Anytime there was any irregularity in the child support payment or any minor disagreement, BM would threaten to come pick up SD at our house in AZ and take her back to her house in NV.

Finally we got the money together to hire an attorney.  We filed the petition for custody etc this past December.  Now the BM's threats have gotten worse and more frequent.  So last week we had our attorney start the TRO.

Today the Judge signed the order!!!!!!!  No more worrying about my SD being uprooted from her stable life, school, etc.

BM has the chance to prove why the order should not be in effect one week from tomorrow, but she has to come 800 miles to do it!!!  Not to mention she has one week to prepare!

So for all of you out there...don't give up hope, your chance will come.  We have been waiting 5 years for this day!!!  It just took a little patience and a lot of preparation!

Brief History:

BM and my Husband were never married.  My husband took care of his daughter for 1 year before BM filed for Child Support in 2000 and won.  And for 1 year after that he continued to be the primary caretaker while still paying the BM.  Then he moved in 2001 from NV, where BM still resides, and moved to AZ to be with me, (now the stepmom).

Over the next few years it was a struggle to agree on visitation and such because there was never a Custody Order.  The only mention of custody in any paper work is in the Child Support order where it states that BM is "custodial parent by operation of the law until further order of the court."  BM has used this lack of specificity in the paperwork to wield ultimate power concerning my SD.  BM always has the final say in everything!

Here's where it gets juicy! So BM had a gastric bypass surgery back in 2002.  She has never fully recovered because she did not follow her recovery instructions which ended up in her loosing a lot of her blood over the next 1.5-2 years.  She was so sick that she couldn't physically take care of her children anymore so she called up my husband and asked if we could take my SD temporarily because she was in and out of hospitals not to mention her and her new husband of 2 years were having problems. (They were divorced not too long after.) This was in March of 2004.

Also by this time she has defaulted on the loan of her townhome and is now living on total state support, housing, food, medical.  She then decides while my SD is living with us that she is going to get a federal job which means that the State of Nevada will no longer support her.  She thereby loses her subsidized house and moves in with her mother and much younger brother with her two other children.  The duplex only has 2 bedrooms.

So this was in 2004 and now we are fast approaching 2006 and who still has my SD? We do!  But the catcher is that BM still wanted child support while SD has been in AZ, so she has been getting her child support for NO CHILD!  Meanwhile, my husband and I have been paying for childcare the entire time, and she just started Kindergarten here in August.  And BM rarely calls! I am the one who facilitates most of the contact she has even stayed at our house a few times!

Current Situation:

Anyways, my husband and I have realized that this cannot go on forever.  We could really use the child support he is paying to pay for the child.  We are stretched pretty thin between the new house we just bought, daycare for my SD and our 2 year old son, among other things!

We have gone to two laywers in Arizona that say it would be best to go to Nevada to file for custody because of the existing Child Support order.

However, we have gone to 2 lawyers in Nevada that say it would be best to pursue custody in Arizona.  One of which is the president of the State Bar of Nevada!

The discrepancy lies in the fact that all there is is this Child Support Order.  There is no Custody/Visitation Order.  The lawyers in Nevada say that this means we are free to file for an initial custody order in Arizona, however the Arizona lawyers aren't so sure.

Any advice? Anyone gone through something that might apply?

BM is now reverting to her ultimate power trip again, and we are afraid that she might try to take her back at any moment even though she has no house, no car, and nothing but a job!

My husband and I live in Arizona, however, the commencement of the case happened in Nevada.
Here's the history...

My SD was born and the BM handed her to my husband and didn't barely even see her daughter for 1 year. Then the BM files for custody of her daughter 1 year after she was born, and wins, but the BM still leaves my SD with my husband (of course still collecting child support) until he moved to Arizona to be with me. That's when she finally takes care of her daughter...at 1.5 years old. Since then we have seen her rather irregularly for varying periods, up to three months at a time. (My husband and the BM were never married, so my husband got screwed in the custody arrangement - he didn't get any rights whatsoever even though he was taking care of her for her whole life up to that point!)

Now my SD is 4 going on 5 in Nov....

The BM got a new job with the State of Nevada, thereby forfeiting her $16,000 a year in state support (rent, food, daycare, etc.) (She also has 2 other children, B15 & G7.)  And so she calls up my husband and says that she can't pay for my SD's daycare so we'll have to take her for an indefinite period of time. So, of course, we jump at the chance and pay for her and an escort to fly down to Arizona.

Now we are hoping to have her for at least 6 months so we can maybe change the jurisdiction to Arizona and get full custody of my SD. And though the six month mark isn't going to happen until February, I want to feel out this new territory before we jump in head first.

My question is that I know the jurisdiction law says that Nevada has to release jurisdiction before Arizona can modify an existing custody order.  Does anyone know what the process is for getting a state to release jurisdiction? What paperwork needs to be filed, etc?

I remember in my dealings with this forum that one of the members started a father's rights group in Reno, Nevada.  I can't remember the name of the group though.  Does anyone have any recollection of this?  We really need some help in Nevada, they seem to be stuck in the dark ages when it comes to making the non-custodial parent pay child support!!!