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Topics - FireFighterDAD

#1
My ex-wife and I both reside in VA.  We share joint legal custody of our son who will turn 14 on 3/17/11.  My ex-wife and I have both separately filed motions with the court in VA for clarification (mine) and clarification and revision (hers) of our C&V order. 

My ex wife has stated in emails that since our son will be 14 she wants visitation revised.  Under the current order I have two weekend visitations with my son.   

When we divorced the court had our children speak to a GAL.  My (then 15, now 22 year old) daughter has admitted to me that her mother told her to lie to the GAL.  My daughter was told to say that she would run away if she were to live with me.  In exchange for this my ex wife signed papers to have my daughter emancipated at the age of 16 so that she could marry.   

My daughter and her husband have separated and she and her young son are currently living with my ex wife so my daughter won't testify and risk alienating her mother.  My son has told me that he does not want to have less visitation and that he misses me when he doesn't see me.  In light of my ex asking my daughter to lie I am afraid that she will pressure my son to lie and say that he wants less visitation in our current court case.   

My question is--Can I bring my daughter's situation to the judge's attention or, because she is not there to confirm it, would it just be here say and not help me?
#2
Child Support Issues / Are braces elective?
Feb 18, 2011, 09:53:58 AM
I am dealing with a visitation order violation issue with my ex wife so she is already very upset with me.

She sent me a note today stating that she took our son to the orthodontist and gave me a number (over a thousand dollars) that I will be responsible for since, according to her "orthodontist falls under dental".

If I had the money to pay for braces for my son I would go for it but my salary is not high and I have zero dental coverage myself so I can't get any help from that.

I had always thought that braces were an elective/cosmetic procedure, at least in most cases.  My son's teeth are not straight but there isn't a problem with chewing, etc.

If I'm required to pay then I'm required to pay and I can go apply for a loan.  If I'm not required to pay and she wants to go forward with it I can always contribute what I can even if it's not all that she wants.

I am interested to know if anyone has dealt with this issue before and if braces are required to be covered in the same way that dental expenses are?

FFD
#3
I posted here in the past and gotten so great help.  For some reason my account wouldn't work and I had to register again.  Anyway, my ex wife is again refusing to follow the C&V order.  It's a very clear cut order.  I get 2 weekends per month and the visitation schedule is to be created around my work schedule because, as a firefighter, there are only 2 weekends per month that I do not have to work.  I understand this can be frustrating for my ex wife but it's the job I've had all of my life, which includes all of our married life (20+ years) so she does understand that my schedule is not my choice.  She has access to my schedule more than a year in advance.

She wrote to "inform" me that she will be taking our son to Florida on vacation in May 2011 (he is 13 and school is in session) and she is taking him over the 2 weekends that I would be able to have him for visitation, which means I would not get to see him at all in May.

Per the order we each get 2 vacations per year with him--Summer for 10-14 days and "Other" for 7-8 days.  She states in an email that she is using "10 of her 14 days."  The problem for her is that summer vacation's start and end dates have to be agreed upon by both parties.  I do not agree to her dates as they would prevent me from having visitation.  The "other" vacation would mean that she would have to return with our son in time for me to have one of my visitations--that is why the judge wrote it that way.

I'm willing to compromise and give up one of my weekends, but not both.  My ex wife wants it all her way and won't agree to that.

My counsel has advised me that my ex wife will be found guilty of violating the order (she has been found guilty before).  He has also advised me not to let her run up my bill by having her counsel contact him over and over (that has happened before too).  She asked for his info to send to her counsel and I told her to send it to me and I would consult with my counsel if necessary.

I am really hoping this is the LAST time we have to return to court over something that is so clear cut.  My ex wife keeps saying that the order is "just a suggestion."  I respectfully disagree--it is a legally binding document.  I am so tired of this.  The stress is not anything that anyone needs and I always hear from my children when something like this comes up so I know that she is sharing with them.  Sigh...

FFD