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In case you need a reference: http://deltabravo.net/forum/index.php?topic=38441.0 (http://deltabravo.net/forum/index.php?topic=38441.0)


but I thought I would update as to what is going on.

So far it has been 80 days since the father has called to check on his son, or even seen him.  My son is 3 1/2 months old, he has seen him 4 times.  I did end up getting a lawyer in which we had our first court date on June 23rd, which ended in request for DNA (which i knew was coming).  I believe that every father has a right to feel they want to be "sure" which does not offend me, BUT he wants it because I didn't give our son HIS last name which as I explained in here that they would NOT allow me to put his last name on the b/c because he was not there to sign it and it went the same way 5 years ago when i had my daughter and her father took off.  So people can say it all they want that I still could of given him his last name. No. They would not let me and he decided not to show up and sign it so that's his problem, he also had plenty of chances to go with me to sign the AkOP, but he was always too busy so I've said forget it. We were never married and my son will just continue to have my last name.  So Court resumes on the 16th of August.  My lawyer says the longer he doesn't contact his son, check on him or support him ... it's only hurting him.

This was in the letter from my lawyer that is being sent to the state of texas and also the the father of my son ...

"absent visitation"  .. not sure what that means? I'm new to all this.  I normally would ask my lawyer but he's out all weekend. =)

For those who remember me asking in here about visitation/custody ect when I was pregnant this is what is going on that I need help with now, for those who don't, or need to go back here is my link http://deltabravo.net/forum/index.php/topic,38441.0.html (http://deltabravo.net/forum/index.php/topic,38441.0.html)

I got so much great help but now I am stuck in a delema that I am not sure where to turn.

My son was born that March.  Father did not show up so that eased things a lot.  I didn't hear from him at all with his threats in getting a lawyer like I had said.  I did notify him at the time baby was born.  He did not show, i was in the hospital for 2 days.  Finally the day after i was home he had came to visit.  I had my parents home so I wasn't afraidto be a lone with him.  He didnt really do much but stare at the baby and act happy.  THings seemed to be ok.  He wanted to take me out with the baby to chickie cheese so we did.  We talked calm and rationally so i suppose things went ok for a month. 

Now that i filed for child support, he has thrown his hands in the air and is now back to calling me names, ect but does this over the phone.  I had gotten a recorder but when he called and the whole time we were talking on the phone, i was looking for the tape to record it all on but I couldn't find it.  I had gone down to the Family Justice Center here in texas and tried to file a PO.  Since it was all hearsay and I didn't press charges when he hit me in sept, they couldn't do anything but said I still had time to file under 2 years. 

He wants to take the baby away again, he's back to his threats.  He's NOT on the b/c so i know he can't just up and take him.  He said that in CS medication him and his laywer (which he said he is bringing) is going to request DNA (which is fine with me if that's how he feels).  He also says his lawyer can tear me apart during mediation.  I'm going to file an affidavit with the attorney generals office due to the history of family violence.  I dont' want my son staying with adam till he is OVER the age of 3.  I'm worried about visits because of the violence, I don't know what to do.

Today I finally made an assult report with the police.  I'm going to sign the affidavit with child support but if he has his lawyer, what will happen?  I can't afford a lawyer.  I Tried to apply for legal aid but since i live under my moms roof they go by her income and well, now i don't qualify.  SO im scared, i don't know what to do.  I'm scared of my sons dad that he will either 1. hurt me again 2. take my son away in court because i am defense less 3. continue to call me all kinds of names if no assult charges are pressed because i reported too long. ? Plus we were civil for a little while after the pregnancy.

help!

 
I am going to have our baby next month, I have absolutely no intentions of keeping the baby out of his life completely, but because of the mental abuse, physical abuse he put me through and the manipulation he continues to throw on me, it will take a while to trust him until the child can speak for himself when he comes home from seeing his dad.  Right now, all i care for is "supervised".  I absolutly can not 100% afford a lawyer so I will let the state child support take care of what they can.

Right now, I feel so smothered by him and I'm worried about what things will be like after the baby is born because he refuses to respect me.  He says that he's going to come and see the baby whenever he pleases at my house and can stay as long as he wants and if i ask him to leave he will just call the police.  I don't mind him "visiting" a few times a week, a few hours or what not a day, but if I would like him to leave, he needs to leave.  He can't understand that we aren't a family anymore.  He ruined all that.  I went into early labor last week and didn't tell him.  He yelled at me because i didn't tell him.  I told him that i will contact him when the baby arives and he can visit for a few hours in the hospital.  Again, he yells at me because he thinks I'm trying to keep him away from his son because I don't want him in the room when I give birth.  I'm sorry but again, that is a private moment to ME, it's my body I am giving birth not him.  He also says that if I don't move back in with him than he won't help out with the baby (aka give me things for the baby, he just keeps it all at his house and also threatens to take the baby too under NO grounds does he have that I am a bad unfit mother.) ... He has a son already of his own that he gets standard visitation and he just lets his son come over, sit in front of the TV, eat junk food.  His son never brushes his teeth the whole weekend, he won't change his sons clothes because he feels his mom should provide all the clothing and he goes home in the same clothes.  His son goes back and forth saying his dad hits him to his mom, but than he tells his dad that his mom hits him.  His son is 6 and weighs 105lbs, no one takes care of him.  Anyways this is just a SMALL explanation of why I do not TRUST him with my son on the way and why i want supervised visitation ...

It's just all of this and that and the fact he's manipulating me.  I'm so affraid he will get a lawyer and win 50/50 because he knows I can not afford it at all.  He won't help out with the baby, he yells at me because I won't let him be in the room when i give birth, he demands that he's going to be at my house all the time and i have no say so and he can come and go when he wants.  And because I won't move back in, he puts me down. If i tell him no to ANYTHING he thinks im trying to keep the baby away from him which I am not! if i wanted to, i would of taken off by now!

I never called the police for the physical abuse, but I do have 2 pictures i took where he hit me one night. would that be of any help?

(also this is an off side note, but i heard he was reported to the IRS for tax fraud. He claims 2 kids from mexico that aren't his and he doesn't know them ... he uses the money to his benefit and gives the family $500.  Reason why I am asking is because I heard the penalties for this can be harsh ... would that in anyway affect his "rights" as a father.  Just so if it happens, I guess i can be more educated about it?)