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Topics - RoosterC

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Father's Issues / When evaluation becomes a fishing trip?
« on: Mar 14, 2011, 10:06:05 AM »
Can anyone help me to understand whats going on?
We are in evaluation stage. Originally faced a boatload of horrible and pattently false emotional abuse allegations. All were so horribly off-base that Ive been able to gather the paperwork to disprove every single one (when people make things up do they assume there's no such thing as medical, school or phone records) not to mention witnesses and therapist letter and kids not onboard with it.
But the thing I do not get is how no one is talking about abuse anymore but the kids and I are getting a lot of questions regarding other issues like what they eat every day? ( fish, chicken, whole grains and lots of veggies) what kind of heat is in my house? the murals on their walls? the chores they do? etc. I feel like this evaluator is looking for a reason, and just keeps looking... really, its gone very far afield (the colors of my walls? the names of the childrens books we read, where we sit for dinner).
Meanwhile Ive got oddles of tangible proof of issues from alchohol abuse, smoking to the "creepy" (the kids word, not mine) behavior of the live in BF that is alone with them at tmes to the imfamous taping device (I wont bore everyone with a rehash) and hiding vital information.
Yet no questions about that/or her.
Maybe Im wrong but I feel like the last line on her form is filled out (where it says all in all they still dont belong with me for primary) and the endless probe is just trying to justify a predetermined outcome.
Can anyone on the other side explain this?

Father's Issues / The Moment You Knew....
« on: Mar 01, 2011, 01:45:01 PM »
Maybe I need catharsis or levity but here goes:
What was the exact moment at which you realized that if you had this much going for you, all these facts, all this anecdotal and solid evidence of a better, more wholesome atmosphere, all the sturdy evidence of the lack thereof on the other side, you wouldnt lose a moment's sleep over custody if you only werent a man?
On the scales of justice, ovaries are, it seems, very heavy indeed.

Dear Socrateaser / Confiscated Hidden recording device
« on: Feb 24, 2011, 09:28:14 AM »
Facts: After instigating a false emotional abuse claim (dismissed by county) ex alternated witholding custody contact (documented) with what seemed at the time to be very odd phone contact. Some calls even sounded like a machine in the background, when I mentioned this and even asked  "are you recording me?" the noise would stop after a rustling or the call would cut off.
When I fanally did get kids back by pressing custody order to local police, things seemed ok, we didnt dwell on what was going on, just rried to get back to 'life'.
Next morning, see shape outline in son's pants, after nervous defensive reaction to question, he hands over a very very small concealed recording device which he explains his mother gave him to try to record any reaction I had to the false charges; he said he felt uncomfortable with doing this especially after the false charges, (the previous evening his mother evidently said to give the recorder to his siter if he "didnt have the guts"
Funny, there was nothing to tape, 5 minutes of calm conversation, reassurances that Id do all I could to make things OK again, and then homework and dinner, a movie and off to bed.
On the tape I discovered Id been taped for quite some time (illegal in my state) and that those phone conversations that felt 'funny' were prepped and recorded by mom. Again, oddly, nothing Id be ashamed of beyond how terribly like Mr Rogers I sound when I talk to my kids.
But ALSO on the recorder were recordings made by ex's live in boyfriend with his (still current) wife. Details include incidents requiring rehab, leaving rehab, mention of 'drug counselor' and claims he does not drink anymore (I have oodles of evidence he still does)
My lawyer seems inclined to think this is our nuclear option in the custody battle ex has brought to me with same emotional abuse charges that county debunked.
How can I insure those recordings (alchohol tapes) get heard? they are relevant to whats going on in that house, right?
Im not donald trump, do I need to get all this transcribed or just keep the recorder?
Should I try to get criminal charges while or after the case for the hidden recordings?
How do you get the evaluator to acknowlege or listen to this thing?
PS- when this is all over, Ill share what Ive learned to help the next batch of parents, promise!

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