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My step-daughters, ages 7 and 9, have been through enough. Their mom hasnt got their best interest at heart and we cant afford to keep fighting her in court.  I know with all my heart if they children had representation who would fight for what is best with them that
all parties involved could be part of their life.  How can it be wrong for a child to have too
many people to love them? How can one parents bitterness end up separating children
from a father, and stepmom and sister who truly love them and whom they truly love in return? If anyone knows how I can get help for these girls please tell me?

    I have two daughters that came with my new husband, ages 6 and 9 whom I love very much.  Last March their mom told us to take them and for me to raise them as my own after she gave them to us telling me to raise them as my own, they were here until November.
The entire time if she called or requested to see them we encouraged it for their sakes, to keep them from feeling abandoned. After 3 months of no contact from her we filed for full custody with her having visitation with them regulated by their father.  Upon notification of our filing she decided to fight, she also made a huge attempt to get their father back also. He of course refused and she filed motion after motion of lies that were all proven wrong, (ex. that I was married to ex still...my divorce papers were shown and it was dismissed)
In the end, our funds were drained, she still had adequate resources and our lawyer advised us to make offer Joint Custody with children living with her and standard visitation spelled out to the letter.  We abide by the visitation order and notify her ahead of any conflicts and have continuously been flexible to her needs. The girls do not want to live with her and everytime they come we have to actually defend their mom to and extent to keep them from hating her. They get spankings for crying because they miss us, they are not allowed to call us, they cant say me and my daughter are "family".  They beg us to fight to get them back home but we dont have the money, they cry and kling to me when I drop them off while she, if my husband is there, spends the time trying for his attention, even though she is re-married. She threatens the girls with spankings if they tell us anything that goes on her house, they are not allowed to talk about us or even take gifts we give them home with them. She even refuses to look at pix of their life here. She talks about me so negative, even telling them I am why they are not a family anymore, because he refused to go back to her and chose to stay with me.  She had intitially left him and taken girls for his wealthy friend while he was out of town on business.  I was friends with both of them before she did this and that is why she knew I would take care of kids. He and I grew closer spending our time caring for our 3 girls and became a family that she cannot accept, we were married as soon as legally possible with the approval of all three girls who were in the ceremony.
I need help though, how can I help make this situation better for them, and us? Ive reached out to her numerous times to make peace, and have never treated her negatively or badmouthed her to the girls for their sake. She is so bitter and hateful to me, and my 13yr old daughter.  She's also making her girls lives miserable over her remorse for leaving their father. HELP!!!