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Topics - Romersgirl

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Dear Socrateaser / Quick Question
« on: Feb 27, 2006, 03:03:13 PM »
Can you direct me to a site (if you dont know off hand) where I can find out if VA is state that gives Grand Parents Rights?

My Dh's mother is very controlling but very damaging to the child, she keeps threatening to go after grand parents rights to see the child.  THANKS!

Dear Socrateaser / Back to court again!
« on: Nov 15, 2005, 09:52:44 AM »
Background - DH has full custody, BM has reasonable and fair visitation.  A couple of weeks ago BM and her new boyfriend got int a fight and she put in him jail.  Against better judgement we got involved after she called us (kids were with grandparents) and she gave us the money to get him out of jail, saying that she'd made a mistake, after DH went and got him he didn't want to talk to her so she destroyed her house, in my presence.  Threw pictures, dressor drawers, put her foot through her coffee table, etc.

One week goes by they are back together, she puts him in jail again.  The boyfriend comes to stay at our house for a couple of days after she again paid for him to get out.  He told us of her using Cocaine and drinking and out all night, all of things we thought had stopped which is why we agreed to the unsupervised visits to begin with.  

Since then we have not let the boys go to her house for the visitation, we have sent them to her moms and she can go visit them anytime she wants.  Again the court order states:
"Mother shall continue to enjoy her unsupervised visitation. The prior oder of 6/23/05 (granting father full legal and physical custody) shall remain in full force and effect.  The parties shall be fexible and fair in their dealings regarding visitation".

Yesterday we got a summons where she show caused us for violation of a court order.

1.  Are we actually in violation of a court order as it states to use fair and reasonable visitation and we used our best judgement keeping hte boys away from abuse?

2.  Obviously since they are back together again he will probably deny saying all things about her drug use etc, can we still use it?

3.  DH is going to try and go to the court house to file for supervised again for her, is this going to look like retaliation?  

4.  We go to court feb 15 for her now, should we continue to let the boys go to her moms and have her visit them (as our concerns are still the same) or should we let them go back to her and let the case be reopenend?

5.  Anything else would be greatly appreciated.  THANKS!

Dear Socrateaser / Hopefully an easy one.
« on: Oct 11, 2005, 11:40:23 AM »
DH has full custody of his 2 sons.  We just recently allowed BM to be around the kids with out supervision - we did this through the court after a summer of trying it.  So as of Sept 30 she has unsupervised visitation now.  Holidays are not specified.  DH is traveling a lot due to business now so I am the one primarily taking care of the kids.

1.  Since DH is the only one that has custody on paper what does that mean for me when they are with me and he's not in town?

2.  As I am his wife can I make decisions for them when he's out of town and not have problems with the BM?

3.  Should I get him to sign something (dont know what) while he's out of town?  

I'm listed on everything as far as daycare and school goes as the mom.  BM is not listed anywhere.  

Dear Socrateaser / Need clarification on court order please.
« on: Jul 22, 2005, 08:24:53 AM »
Background, DH has full physical and legal custody that we got on Sept 30 2004.  The BM at that time was given supervised visitation only, to be supervised at her mothers house.  Recently the grandmother had some medical problems and it was not suitable for them to be there.  BM had been doing much better so we agree for the summer on a trial basis to try unsupervised visitation.  We took it to the courts and this is what we got:

New visitation court order states: Findings of the court - Joint Motion of parents to relax supervised visitation penind court review of mother on 9-7-05.

It is ordered that visitation for (BM) with both her children shall be liberal and reasonable and without supervision by the current supervising party (maternal grandmother).  These visits and the terms shall be worked out by the agreement of the parties.  (Grandma) shall no longer be a supervising party.  This case is continued to 9-7-05.

1.  Since there are no specific weekends mentioned and she is starting her old tricks again (dragging the boys around by their arms, cursing at them in public) then we do not have to let them go this weekend correct?

2.  Since this was a trial basis and the judge cont'd it to Sept when we go in Sept we can let them know that we tried but bc of X, Y, Z it didn't work right? Therefor probably going back to supervised again?

3.  What if she tries to file a show cause, althoguh I dont know what for since it's not specifically listed there for we aren't against court order, BUT if she does it would most likely be dismissed when we went right?


Dear Socrateaser / Thanks for you help Soc!
« on: Jul 01, 2005, 07:07:32 AM »
We got exactly what we were looking for.  Thanks to your words the court order is worded exactly they way we wanted.  My DH has sole physical and legal custody and the mother had supervising visitation, we were agreeing to her no longer having supervised but wanted to make sure we didnt give her to much.  We rec'd the new order yesterday:

ok it says this:
Findings of the court : Joint motion of parents to relax supervised visitation pending court review of mother on 9-7-05
It is ordered that : Visitation for (MOTHER) with both her children shall be liberal and reasonable and with out supervision by the current supervising party (maternal grandmother).  These visits and terms shall be worked out by the agreement of the parties.  (Mathernal Grandmother) shall no longer be a supervising party.  
Case continued to 9-7-05

1.  So if I'm reading this correctly it still leaves all decisions to my DH and she no longer has just every other weekend, it's when we (DH and the BM) decide, right?


Dear Socrateaser / Can I send you an email?
« on: Jun 27, 2005, 08:35:36 AM »
I have gone to the law library and I believe gotten the proper paper work for the Bill of Compliant I need to help my friend file for divorce.  We're in Va, however could I email it to you to look over before she takes it up to the court house to have it served on her husband?


Dear Socrateaser / Do you give advice on divorces too?
« on: Jun 16, 2005, 08:47:44 AM »
You've always been so great with custody, could you offer some advice on getting a divorce or direct me to where I can get the info.

Married on Dec 30 2003 - separated on March 20 2004 - no kids involved so the separation time only needed to be 6 months.  My friends husband won't sign the papers to make this easy.

1.  What does my friend need to do in order to get her divorce, she's been living in her own apt since March 20 2004.  

2.  What paper work can she file to get he divorce proceedings starting with out a lawyer, she doesn't have the money.


Dear Socrateaser / Can we get in trouble for this?
« on: Apr 19, 2005, 06:26:33 AM »
Dh has full physical and legal custody, with (exact words here) "Mother to have visitation ever other weekend supervised at maternal grandmothers home".  

BM has been really making an attempt to get her life together.  We went back to court a couple of months ago bc she had petitioned for unsupervised visits.  She herself dropped the case bc she couldn't afford an attorney and she didn't have a job, she had just moved back to where we live.  However since then, she still doesn't have a job but is making a attempt to see the boys ever opportunity she can, she's been to games and practices whenever DH and I are there (so it's still supervised).

We understand that it takes time to chance, however she is their mother and as long as she's making the right decisions we dont have a problem with her seeing the boys.  

1.  Since it's stated in the court order that it has to be supervised, if we allow her to take them to McDonalds or the park for an hour or so to give her some one on one time, can we get in trouble for this?

2.  We dont want to do an amendment just yet bc we want to make sure it's going to last, she has a pattern of being good for a little while and then resorting back.  Is there anything we can do to keep it out of court but do a trial basis?  Considering getting into court would be a couple of months anyway.

3.  Any other advice?


Dear Socrateaser / Another question - URGENT
« on: Apr 06, 2005, 06:02:55 AM »
On a separate case.  

My friend has joint custody of his son with ex.  the court order states the father (my friend) has visitation "every tues and thurs from 6:00 pm to 9:00 am the next morning".

Last night bc he's moved in with someone else (that he's been with for 3 years) she refused to let the child go.  Well she let him go, then went to his moms before my friend got off work and picked him up when she heard that he and his girlfriend were living together now.

1.  What can we do, can we file contempt of a court order since she refused to let him go when my friend called her later?

2.  What would be the best course of action for us since she's refusing tomorrows visitation as well since he's living with his girlfriend?

Dear Socrateaser / What can we do next?
« on: Apr 05, 2005, 01:08:36 PM »
My DH and I have physical and legal custody of my 2 step sons.  The BM has supervised visitation at her mothers house.  The BM comes and goes most of the time not seeing the boys on her weekends.  

1.  She's constantly bringing new boyfriends around the boys when she does come in town, is there any way we can make it so there's not a continual parade of different men?

2.  The house (which the GAL never visited) in which her mother lives and the BM visits to see the boys has dog poop everywhere and the boys dont have their own bed, they sleep in recliners, can we move the supervised visitation to a more suitable location?

3.  BM has taken us back to court several times to get her unsupervised visits, everytime pissing the judge off!  Can't we avoid going to court every other month when her circumstances that got the custody and visitation taken away in the first place haven't changed?

4.  She has not job but we are going for child support, I know through DCSE the state minimum is $65 per month, but is this for both children or is it per child?


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