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Second Families / How will I affect custody??
« on: Oct 24, 2011, 07:47:40 AM »
I am engaged to a man with 2 kids. When the youngest was LESS than 9 months old their mother left with her boyfriend and moved across the country. She had nothing to do with them until my fiance and I started dating. Over the course of their lives she has been in and out of it for at least 3 years (the oldest kid is now 5 you do the math).We served her with custody a week after the oldest child's birthday this year that she "could not make it to" and the following week she moved back. She has now been here since April trying to make herself look stable and willing and her personal vendetta against me seems to be getting worse (accusing that I beat the kids, that I'm verbally abusive, you name it "I've done it"). Even though I have been willing to work with her; giving her clothes, shoes, toys, money... Stayed in touch with her letting her know things even while the kids were with us, even went so far as to go places with her so the kids could see us get along!

Being an outside perspective it IS in the best interests of the kids to live solely with their dad. She neglects, show favoritism, can't plan anything in their interests that does not revolve around her Navy boyfriend, and can't even get them Halloween costumes (we had to buy them but aren't even allowed to take them trick-or-treating). My fiance is a LOVING man who raised 2 girls for 2 years ON HIS OWN! He has always provided them with a happy stable home!!!

I love my fiances kids and they absolutely love me, and I do a lot for them, but I by no means want to take their mothers place (heck if there was anything I could do to keep the kids from having to watch her leave them again I would do it).


I am at a loss as to what to do because I'm beginning to feel like my close relationship with the kids and my fiance is causing her to be more manipulative and maybe even hurting his chances for custody. She constantly withholds things from my fiance about the girls because I MIGHT somehow have something to do with it.

Legally will my relationship with the girls or "being shacked up" with their dad hurt him??

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