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Topics - foughtandwon

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Child Support Issues / which state to file in?
« on: Nov 04, 2004, 12:20:45 PM »
ok after a 1 1/2 year cps/custody battle i have my son with me.
all this happened in arizona where the mother lives. i am military and currently live in new orleans
from what i can figure, after 6 months of living with me i should be able to file in the state i live in.
here is the kicker the last thing the custody order says is " the matter of child support should be referd to judge -------" well after driving back and fourth many times 1400 eaqch way. the last hing io wanted to do is open another case. so i took my son and left not to mention i wanted everything to calm down a bit first.

so what state can i file for support in?

Dear Socrateaser / help fast????
« on: Jul 25, 2005, 09:24:45 AM »
i'll try to make this quick

i was awarded custdoy via cps case almost a year ago.
court order was left wide open for interpitation and is worded as such
" reasonable unsupervised visitation " for  the mother.
I am active duty military and do not live in the same state so "reasonable is hard to determine"

my son was supposed to be returned sat night via airplane. after a somewhat delayed flight arrived he did not show. when i was finaly able contact the mother she said she has a temp. visitation order signed by a judge and that i should have been served already for a court date of aug **

i didnt get this info until 3am sunday morning. i called the courts this morning and they are of no help as of yet. i am being told that the info is not in the sytem and may take a couple fo days. when i asked the bm how to get  copy of the paperwork she replied with she doesnt know and that its my problem not hers.

at this point i have no idea what the hearing is for visitation order, custody ????????
if i had to guess it is to enforce a visitation schedule she wrote up but i refused to sign, because it was way to much in her favor

now my questions
1. how can i verify her story of a temp visitation order?

2. would such an order end on a said date, or would it have to be settled in court?

2. i do not have the money up front for a lawyer can i go to the court ask for my son to be returned to my custody and ask for more time to get an attorney to settle the matter?

Dear Socrateaser / NEXT LEGAL MOVE?
« on: Feb 24, 2005, 07:08:42 AM »
Dear Socrateaser
I tried reading and searching the forums as best I could before I came here but am now looking for an opinion on my next legal move.

backround info:
I have a 5 year old son. I was awarded custody in August of 04. The case was started by CPS. They investigated reports of sexual abuse and medical neglect. I had not estsablished any legal rights at the time. The case went on and it became apparent that it would be in the childs best intrest to live with me. The court battle went on for a year and a half and the BM mother is still involved in the case because she has a daughter. Bm fought every step of the way and claimed i was not the father etc. etc....
the court order gives me sole legal custody and primary physical custody. BM has resonable unsupervised parenting time. Being military I move a lot and this is always going to be a tough issue.

now the problem:
Not wanting to violate the custody order I agreed to send my son to see BM over X-mas break. Everything seemed to go smooth until 2 weeks after the vist, CPS calls and said they had to investigate reports of emotional abuse (this is out of state). I was informed that they investigated and closed the case. Now i cant point fingers but a blind man can see who made that report. When i question BM about it she says she aslo took him to a doctor because he said i was punching him in the stomach( I guess since emotionl abuse didnt work she wanted to claim physical abuse). I asked for the doctors name and number so that I can get a copy of the report to put in his medical records and she refused to give it to me.

At this point I started recording all phone conversations. I informed her about recording the calls and she said fine.

A few days ago I pick my son up  from school and his teacher is very upset and wants to talk to me. She told me CPS had came to the school and investigated reports of a black eye. There was never a black eye. My son had bumped the side of his head on a table in a resturaunt. When i looked at it i told him he might get a black eye. He repeats that during a phone conversation and a week later CPS is on my door step. again CPS cant tell me who made the report but like I said its not to hard to figure out.  

now my question.

I now have two false reports made against me, by either BM or her family. Can I take any action here and try to get BM rights terminated? If not at least supervised visits? I really dont want to live my life thinking CPS is going to show up every 2-3 months to investigate false reports. I asked CPS what they would do if a person continues to make false reports and was told they would give a verbal warning but that is about it. If this is not enough to change the custody order is there any other legal action I can take to her.

Custody Issues / how far do i have to bend?
« on: Nov 07, 2005, 08:11:45 AM »
i post on here from time to time, here is the history of the case.
CPS took son from the mother and placed him on foster home. I was sent to iraq in the middle of all this. by time i came back the BM still had not complied with CPS case pln and as a result the trial went to a custody hearing. After a long trial i was awarded Sole legal and primary physical custody. In the one year since, the BM has filed two false reports with CPS and now has hired a lawyer to take this to trial again.

now the current case.
BM got the child to say bad things about me to a therapist. As a result the judge agreed to go to trial. After 2 weeks the judge finnaly decided to allow the child to return with me. the bad part was she also set 3 visitations 2 that i have to pay for a 1 that the BM does. As i get ready to go home ( i live out of state, which makes things twice as hard)  Hurricane Katrina pops up and does her thing. well i live in new orleans and now in the middle of a custody battle i got this to deal with.  I get settled in an alternate location and enroll the child in school. Now the first visitaion i have to pay for. you can imagine the finacial toll all this is having. So my wife in wisdom was able to scrounge us a free ticket donated by a company that wrote it of as katrina refugee.
flight out was fine. return flight she called with all kinds of problems and eventully took him back home and changed the ticket for the following day. the next day she calls and says he is to sick to fly and the doctors says he has to wait 4 days to fly home. So now he is missing school. once he got back everything was fine until the other day. She called and asked if she could fly him out a day early and return a day late. I said no and that he would miss to many days of school. She complained that to buy a ticket on the specified days would cost her $1200.
So now at this point she is saying she bought him a ticket and that its on me to put him on the plane.
serioulsy though should i have to bend and allow him to leave early and return late? its not that i dont want her to have him. its just school is hard enough with all the missed days due to hurricane, i really dont want him to miss  more and have to work through the summer.

Father's Issues / another win for me, or i think
« on: Dec 05, 2005, 11:21:58 AM »
i was awarded sole custody 1 1/2 years ago. since then the mother has made 2 false reports to CPS against me. neither resulted in a case. then on her last visit she decided to tke it to court and got and emergency visittion order and etc etc etc...............

well we finished up last week and i again have custody. but she does still have visitation and i gave her joint legal, i also have to pay have of transportation cost up to a $$$$ amount.

we settled this in mediation cause her lawyer knew she had nothing. i was upset about the joint legal but my lawyer said we could fight that in court but she would probably get it anyway.

so for now until she tries this again, i retain custody.

Father's Issues / things like this remind me of how lucky i am
« on: May 26, 2005, 02:03:10 PM »
just have to vent a little for a coworker of mine. he was involved in a prety tough custody battle and from what i saw did everything right. addressed special needs of the child, doucumented everything possible and was clearly the better parent in the case. drove out of state to finish up the custody hearing and got shafted big time. Seriously this should have been a walk in the park for him. The BM had a history of reckless behavior and even had a dui and assult charges against her during the case. still the father got the shaft big time.
makes be remember just how lucky i was was to gain custody of my son.

any idieas on how to cheer him up?

first off thanks for all the replies to my last topic. Even though everybody has thier own view, it gives me a place to start my research.

a few new questions.

1. hopefully this doesnt happen any time soon. If i had to deploy again, can i appoint a legal gurdian to care for him or does BM have first right?

dont start flaming, remember, because of her recent actions I feel the need to protect him.  (i still hope she wakes up one day and can be an adult about things)

now if during my deployment she manages to get temp custody of him do i get custody when i come back? or is the 6 month rule gonna get me here and once again go into a fist fight of a custody battle?

my current thought is to, give a power of attorney to either my dad or sister as a guardian and send him to bm home state. that way bm can visit him more offten and he will still get the love/support he needs.  

why not send him to BM? she has no clue on how to care for him, he is already behind in school and in her custody would fall back even more. at this point there is no amount of parenting classes or training that can help her. ( you can lead the horse to water but cant make it drink)

2. BM missed her call this weekend and didnt even call monday to try and make it up. what should i do next?

my thought is this. wait for her to call this weekend. inform her of the calls being recorded and then get her to agree to a specific time every week. after that keep a log of missed calls.

I know her and she is crazy enough to try and take my back to court.

If or should i say when she does, i want to have documentation of these kinda things.

Father's Issues / mother doesnt know when to stop
« on: Jan 12, 2005, 09:36:54 AM »
i was awarded custody of my son via a CPS case. my son was removed from her care for medical neglect and possible sexual abuse.

anyway during his first visit back (x mas break) she runs to CPS and reports me for emotional abuse. they investigate and close because the find nothing. she then takes him to a doctor and has him say i punch him in the stomach.

now she is pestering me for his school info.

now what exactly does "sole custody" mean? i have sole custody she has unsupervised parenting time.

i am assuming since i have sole (physical and legal) custody she no longer has a right to school/medical records.
i wouldnt mind but anyone can see what she is upto here.
and is it also illegal for her to take him to a doctor? (unless it was an emergancy) and then with hold the doctors name and number from me?????

i am thiking of taking this back to court and trying to get her visits supervised.

i am military so i move around alot. i  agreed (not in court or writing) to send him out for x mas and summer breaks but now i can see this not the safest thing for my son

BTW her CPS case is still on going she has a daughter that was taken at the same time. total case time is going on 2 years now

i know false reports are a crime so i have kept the cps letter and still trying to locate the doctor he went to. i have also started recording her calls.

Father's Issues / it is possible to win
« on: Sep 27, 2004, 11:37:25 AM »
hello to all
I have been reading everything in this site and many others for a while now and finally had something to post.

after 5 years since my son was born and 1 1/2 years in court i have custody of my son. so for all the fathers out there who seem to have the world against you keep your heads up it is possible to get custody.

a little backround on the case if anyone is intrested.
BM would allow some visitation when ever i flew home(i'm military)
once she found out i was married then she cut off all visitation.
I called a lawyer and got the "the best you can hope for is visitation" speach.
fast worward to april 2003 i was 2 days away for going to Iraq when i get a call that the state of AZ has custody of my son.
turns out the day care called CPS because of some concerns and they took the kids (my son and his half sister)
talked my commander into letting me stay behind for a bit to take care of this.
after i few calls it felt like i hit a brick wall. CPS said the first priority is to get mom and son back together. after pestering them for a bit and letting them know i want custody they gave me a few task to complete. parenting classes etc. did as much as i could and had to play the witing game cause BM had to be given time for her to complete her CPS task.
so i got on the first plane to kuwait, a few short hops and i was back with my unit and in Iraq.
at the end of deployment case was still going on and mother and started to slip up a bit. luckily i was there and still proved to be the better parent.
well to make a long story short BM messd up on numerous occasions and finnaly the judge awarded me sole custody and her resonable visitation.

so hopefully this will give some fathers out there a little hope
from my research AZ is one of the hardest states for a father to get custody

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