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Topics - rltfox

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Dear Socrateaser / Will I be in contempt?
« on: Jul 26, 2006, 11:23:23 AM »
Dear Soc,

Case is in WA. Parenting plan states "NCP shall get a five week block in the summer with the CP receiving visitation every other weekend during block."

Child is currently with NCP for 5 week block, but is at summer camp this week. The camp releases at 12 pm on Saturday. This weekend is CP's weekend.

CP was notified back in May & June there was a conflict in the schedule & was offered alternate arrangements, but CP refused. CP continues to refuse & wants NCP to pull child out of camp early.

PP also states "Each parent shall notify the other parent at least 48 hours in advance if he/she is unable to exercise the regular schedule."

In 11 years, I have NEVER not shown up or brought child back late. But CP has a long history of not showing up or giving notice. I am not doing this to be difficult, but think it is important for child to finish camp & he said he does not want to leave early.

I called CP today & reminded her that I would not be there & again tried to make alternate arrangements. I am also sending a certified letter to her & the court for further documentation.

1. Can I be found in contempt?

2. Can I envoke the 48 hour clause, as long as I am providing for make-up visitation?

3. Anything else you can think of to cover my ass?

Thanks for your help!

Dear Socrateaser / Certified Mail?
« on: Jul 21, 2006, 09:02:11 AM »
Dear Soc,

CP has a history of refusing to sign for certified letters. We have a dozen letters saved that have been returned by USPS.

Currently we send letters certified with return receipt requested & another copy via 1st class mail. This way even if CP doesn't sign for the certified letter she will receive one via regular mail.

Q 1. Does sending letters this way show adequate evidence of providing notice in court?

Q 2. Would sending letter via priority mail with delivery confirmation better prove that notice was given?

Q 3. Are all the letters that CP hasn't accepted admissible in court?

Q 4. Can CP claim she doesn't have to sign since for certified since she also gets a copy via 1st class mail?

Thank you.

Dear Socrateaser / Private
« on: Apr 26, 2006, 01:50:20 PM »

May I ask you a question in private? Thanks.

Dear Socrateaser / Notification
« on: Apr 19, 2006, 02:02:59 PM »
Dear Socrateaser,

Case is in Washington state. CP lives 2-1/2 hours away & we meet in between for exchange. On 2/5/06 CP moved out of mom's house & in with BF. Despite repeated requests CP has not provided current address & phone number. There is no reason for CP to refuse other than to control & interfere.

Most recently I sent a request to her previous address (mom's) via certified, return receipt & first class mail. The certified was unclaimed.

PP states I am to notify CP in writing of my summer vacation dates by May 1st.

Actual PP Language:

"Each parent shall notify the other of all changes in address and telephone numbers."

"NCP shall notify CP by May 1 of summer vacation schedule. This will be done by written letter from NCP. CP will sign and return a copy of the letter to NCP."

1. Is there any way, through court or otherwise, to enforce the address notification?
2. Can I hand deliver letter with vacation dates to CP at exchange?
3. If so, is there anything I need to do to document or provide evidence that this was actually done?
4. If CP refuses to accept letter am I allowed to send a certified letter to her work (a public school)?

Thank you.

Dear Socrateaser / Refusing Mediation
« on: Dec 07, 2005, 09:16:30 AM »
Dear Socrateaser,

We are in Washington state & attempting to update an old, outdated parenting plan.  The CP is refusing to mediate & has said she isn't going to go to mediation because it is a waste of time.

The Dispute Resolution section of the court ordered Parenting Plan states: "Mediation with 50/50 expenses shall be used to handle dispute resolution."

11/19/05 - CP signed for a certified letter asking that she contact the mediation center within 3 days of receipt to schedule mediation.

11/23/05 Mediation center confirmed that CP did not contact them. At this point they initiated contact with CP.

11/30/05 Mediation center followed up to say CP has not returned any phone messages so they have not been able to schedule mediation.

1. We have always been under the impression that mediation had to come before court action. Is that how you interpret the Dispute Resolution section above?

2. Is there anything else we can do to enforce the Dispute Resolution section, or do we need to go to court?

3. If we need to go to court would we go for Parenting Plan modification or for contempt on the mediation issue?

4. CP claims she no longer has an attorney. Over the past year all contact on these types of items has been through her attorney. Would her attorney have to provide notice she no longer represents CP?

Thanks for your help.

Dear Socrateaser / Conflict of Interest
« on: Jun 03, 2005, 01:45:35 PM »
An attorney in Benton County, Washington State has come highly recommended by several friends/associates.  He is supposed to be aggressive & pro-shared-parenting.  I have had the opportunity to meet him as he was my son's baseball coach this spring.  He obviously has also met & had contact with CP.  I am sure the attorney would tell me if it was a conflict of interest, but I don't really want to air our personal business if I can't hire him.

Q1:  Is prior contact through sports, school or other activities considered conflict of interest?


Dear Socrateaser / Contempt of Court
« on: May 25, 2005, 02:59:35 PM »
Parenting plan & both parties reside in Washington state.  SS is 10.

CP has said she is not going to show up for our visitation this weekend because she has plans. She is not providing make-up time.  It looks like we will be going to court for contempt.  CP said last night she didn't care, her attorney told her to do whatever she wanted to get us to take her to court. She said she will then ask for more child support.

Doesn't seem right.  If she wanted child support recalculated she could easily request that through DSHS & it wouldn't cost her a penny.  I think there is something with the fact of us taking her to court vs. her taking us to court.  Maybe so she can ask for court costs?

CP is obviously hoping that NCP is making more money, than the last time it was evaluated (4 years ago).  But he is not, in fact he was downsized & out of work for over a year.  He was forced to take a lower paying job in March.  Because he continued to pay full support & didn't ask for a reduction CP doesn't know about any of it.  

To cover our bases & avoid a he said-she said case of contempt, we sent her the Notice of Intent to Exercise Visitation (certified & regular mail with a copy to her attorney) letter from this site.  We will show up at the pickup location, get date/time stamped receipt & wait the 45 minutes per our parenting plan before returning home.

Question #1 Will the judge be open to discussing all outstanding issues we have or would s/he only hear the contempt items?

Question #2 What do you make of the child support/court issue?  Any ideas of why they would be trying to get us to take her to court?

Question #3 Do we need to do anything else to document the contempt?

Thanks again!

Dear Socrateaser / Travel out of the country
« on: May 24, 2005, 11:27:53 AM »
Dear Soc,

All parties & parenting plan are in the state of Washington.  We attended mediation 4/30/05 where we presented CP with our plans to travel with SS (age 10) to Mexico this summer, along with a "Consent to Travel" form.  CP refused to sign without her attorney reviewing it first (even though both mediators told her it was routine).

In the signed mediation agreement CP was given until 5/13/05 to review, sign & return the document.  Failure to do so made summer 2005 visitation dates "null & void".  That clause was added because we figured if CP refused to sign & we had to go to court over it, we would also address the summer visitation blocks (PP states "5 weeks consecutive", CP won't break up unless it is at her request) and get the dates we originally wanted.

Since then CP has had several excuses of why she couldn't sign.  First because the form was for the entire month of August (to provide some flexibility in travel plans).  So we updated the form to cover our exact 5 week block.  We handed that form to CP in person on 5/13/05 when we picked up SS for the weekend.  She refused to sign it because she was "busy" & had to "be somewhere".  CP didn't have it signed on 5/15/05 when we dropped SS off either.

Last week we sent a written request to CP & CP attorney extending a final deadline for the form to be returned (5/20/05).  Again that date has came & went without signature.  CP left a phone message on 5/21/05 stating she wasn't going to pay to have it notarized.

CP had opportunities to have it notarized on 4/30, 5/13 & 5/15 when I brought my notary stamp with me.  We do not live in the same town so I am not able to notarize anything until the next time we see her.  Her waiting has already cost us one airline reservation hold.  The next is set to expire 5/27.  If we do not book by then we will incur a significantly increased cost.  We are not comfortable accepting a verbal agreement that she will sign because her history shows she will not follow through.

Question 1:  Do I just send CP the money to get it notarized?  I don't mind paying for it, but I am not confident that she will actually follow through.

Question 2:  Is there a way to go to court to get this signed?  We have never been late or kept SS longer the parenting plan dictates.

Question 2a:  If yes, how do we get this into court.  We don't necessarily want to hire a lawyer for something like this.  I can't believe a judge wouldn't make her sign it.

I know we could go on vacation elsewhere, but I don't think we should have to change our vacation plans because CP is being difficult.  It is almost June & we can't even make plans.  Thanks for your help!

Dear Socrateaser / Mediation Travel Costs
« on: Mar 10, 2005, 09:16:38 AM »
Dear Socrateaser,

Our case is in Washington where we both reside.  We are in the process of revising our parenting plan, but the current plan states "parties shall split mediation costs 50/50". Since CP moved 140 miles away we have attempted to alternate mediation between our two cities. There are no mediation facilities available anywhere between.

CP is reluctant to come to my city because it is inconvenient for her & will just not show up. Yesterday CP initiated mediation regarding Summer Visitation in her city even though the last mediation was also held in her city. CP interferes with Summer Visitation every year, so attending mediation will be in everyone's best interest.

I am not trying to be difficult, but I think that 50/50 costs should apply to travel costs as well.  If we were in fact alternating between cities the costs would even out, but that isn't happening.  It will cost $50, not including travel time & wear/tear to my vehicle. Additionally I do not want to set a precedent of only attending mediation in her city.


1. Can I stipulate to mediation center I will only attend mediation there if CP pays for 50% of my travel expenses ($.35/mile)?

2. If CP refuses what right do I have to insist then that she attend mediation in my city?

3. If I give in & attend mediation in her city without splitting travel expenses set a precedent that ALL future mediation be held in her city?

Thanks for your help!


Parenting Issues / Cell Phone
« on: May 15, 2006, 12:47:29 PM »
How young is too young for a cell phone? The only phone CP has is a cell phone, so all calls to son have to go through her. 99.9% of the time she doesn't answer the phone, although everytime we see her she has it on her. Things that make you go hmmmmm . . .

Anyway, the majority of the messages we leave are not given to son. We know because we have asked him "Did you get our messages?" We left a message on Wednesday asking for son to call back ASAP because it was important we talk to him that night (summer camp issue), but we still haven't heard back 5 days later.

So we are *considering* purchasing a cell phone for son. We had previously decided he should be 13 before we would get him one. But we are so sick of not being able to have direct access to him that we are thinking about getting one of those kid cell phones. The cost is relatively low & can share minutes with our current plan. The phones can only call 4 phone numbers preset by the parent & also 911.

He is very responsible & will take good care of it. We are more worried about the phone or charger mysteriously vanishing. We are also struggling with going back on our decision of waiting until he's 13. So any thoughts you have would be appreciated.  Thank you!

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