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As the title implies, my step-daughter wants to come live with her Dad and I. This is very cool with us. The counselor that she goes to see with her mom (we pay the insurance for this) has told us that this has been an expressed wish of hers for some time now; somewhere between 6 months and a year.  She really does not want us to talk to her Mom about living with us, she is afraid of what her mom will do and say, and with reason.

This leaves us with a predictable problem.

It is time to go to court and file for custody, based on what our 13 year old is truly wanting. Knowing her mother, this surprises no one, including the counselor.

How do we go about doing this w/o letting her mother know too far in advance, literally and singularly because her daughter is afraid of living with her for any period of time after her mother knows that her daughter is wanting to leave her home bad enough that her dad is making it happen in court.

We always knew this day would come. It is impossible to say that we are happy about it, it is far too bittersweet a thing for happiness. As much as we do not like Bio-mommy, we have no desire to in any way negatively affect the Mother-Daughter relationship, if anything the reverse. We are getting that she wants to be here from too many different sources for it to be anything but genuine, and I am beginning to believe that their relationship might well benefit from the distance. Mommy wouldn't be the one haranguing about homework, or riding her about cleaning her room, being the bad guy all the time as it were. They might well be able to enjoy one another with out all of that, I don't know. Personally I think Mommy will be so destroyed, well, let's say I am going to take out a restraining order at some point or another, the woman is really broke. I don't know what she will do; I am very very serious about that.

We know who we will hire, it is the instructions to give him we need. SD really is scared of her mom and what she will do. How do we make this happen as easily as possible???

Thanks in advance!!!!!

Danae

My husbands daughter wants to come live with us. We would welcome her. She has been consistant in wanting this for many months and her relationship with her mom is deteriorating rapidly. She is a different person with us, but with her mom....

Her mother is really not intouch with reality. She does not get that it is her controlling and manipulative behavior that makes her daughter want to leave. Believe me, there is NO telling her that. So, SD is 13 as of yesterday in the state of Washington. Her mother will fight her coming to her Dad's house with everything she has. Not only that, I believe her to be so unstable, I do not know what she will do. Anything from commiting suicide, to inflicting bodily harm on her daughter or someone else should they insist on furthering SD's wish to live in a household filled with love and respect.

Any advise on how to walk this razor fine line would be much appreciated!!! I and my family thank you all in advance!

Danae

Hi all! Been a long time since I was here. A very long time!

Long story short, Hubby has a parenting Plan in Washington State. Bio-mom wants to modify it to force us to meet her 10 miles closer to her as we moved 20 miles closer to the meeting point. Anyone have any idea if the State will even give her a hearing? It is my understanding that you have to have justifiable cause to get a modification. To me this isn't a good reason at all to take up the court's time. I don't believe that the State thinks it is either. Either way she is a fool. We have two more kids now than we did when the plan was signed. If she takes us to court, we will file to modify support as Hubby now supports 3 kids. Stupid on her part, but then again, she ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Any info you all may have would be greatly appreciated!!!

Thanks all!
Danae