I have many concerns and issues currently and may be continuing for future so I will start with some background information. My son's mom had decided to end the relationship shortly after finding out she was pregnant with my son, things did not work out and I moved out. I had provided her with financial assistance during her pregnancy, maternity clothes, etc. and attempted to work on things for my son whom I love dearly and am very concerned about.
I am a veteran, college degree, full time job, condo in a great school district, have my son enrolled in a very nice pre-school for Mondays and Tuesdays, provide full health, dental, and vision insurance. I also have an excellent girlfriend who is moving in next month, loves my son to death and I have known her for almost 15 years. Together my son is the only child we have.
My son's mother chose not to work when support was first established after he was born, has a nursing degree and was making good money, and returned to work after it was established. I have taken her back to court twice now for several contempt charges and more parenting time. I have equal parenting now after the last court order, having every Monday morning to Wednesday morning, and alternating weekends from Friday night til the following Wednesday morning. She has filed an appeal last October as she was found in contempt and contested it; however the courts literally lost the paperwork and are reviewing it now supposedly.
In the meantime, she just quit her job (worked 10-15 hours a week before), filed for assistance yet again for food, housing, etc. and is fully capable of working. Currently over 200 open positions for her job in this area; however she actually was excited to be back on the system. She is also not using the court website to communicate as ordered, is collecting support for her other child, and is living off of support. In addition she is required to notify me of doctor visits and cover half of the out of pocket medical expenses not covered by insurance, has refused to pay any, I receive collections letters regularly, and has informed all docs (she takes him regularly to ER, specialist, and PCP and he is fine) now that I am the guarantor hence they send me all medical bills. She has had 4 different attorneys so far, never paid any of them, and an open case against her for not paying taxes so she just declared bankruptcy, quit her job, and filed for assistance from the state.
Because her appeal is still in review several months later I have not been able to file to have support adjusted, pay full support based on her having imputed income at minimum wage when she was making over $24.00/hr and I make half of that since she was not working, cover full pre-school expenses, and all medical bills because she has never paid any of her obligations. She has declared bankruptcy, is on the system, and lives in a bad area. She is fully capable of working and is choosing not too thus to establish the most support and government benefits she can. She will not pay bills, claims to now have money, and just got her family a season pass to the amusement park where she takes him regularly, and he is staying up all night, not ready for school in the mornings, and she causes scenes at pickups with threats, language, and poor behavior. On those days my son has hit his friends at school and has not done well.
My son is 3 now, will be 4 next year, appeal not even finished from last hearing, and I live in a great school district while hers is inner city and almost last in the state. Residency for school purposes has not been established yet however I know he would be better provided for in my care and have much better educational opportunities in my care as well. I have always wanted a son, and in fact have no family in this state and have turned down excellent federal job opps to stay here with him. My priority has always been him.
Do I wait for her to return to work to have CS adjusted? Wait til he is closer to kindergarten to have school residency started? Continue to pay all med bills bc of threats of collections etc.? Any advice would greatly be appreciated. I am tired of fighting in court and do not want too, however have needed too for my son. My atty is very expensive and I have brought all these issues up; however court is taking forever and losing documents. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated...
I am a veteran, college degree, full time job, condo in a great school district, have my son enrolled in a very nice pre-school for Mondays and Tuesdays, provide full health, dental, and vision insurance. I also have an excellent girlfriend who is moving in next month, loves my son to death and I have known her for almost 15 years. Together my son is the only child we have.
My son's mother chose not to work when support was first established after he was born, has a nursing degree and was making good money, and returned to work after it was established. I have taken her back to court twice now for several contempt charges and more parenting time. I have equal parenting now after the last court order, having every Monday morning to Wednesday morning, and alternating weekends from Friday night til the following Wednesday morning. She has filed an appeal last October as she was found in contempt and contested it; however the courts literally lost the paperwork and are reviewing it now supposedly.
In the meantime, she just quit her job (worked 10-15 hours a week before), filed for assistance yet again for food, housing, etc. and is fully capable of working. Currently over 200 open positions for her job in this area; however she actually was excited to be back on the system. She is also not using the court website to communicate as ordered, is collecting support for her other child, and is living off of support. In addition she is required to notify me of doctor visits and cover half of the out of pocket medical expenses not covered by insurance, has refused to pay any, I receive collections letters regularly, and has informed all docs (she takes him regularly to ER, specialist, and PCP and he is fine) now that I am the guarantor hence they send me all medical bills. She has had 4 different attorneys so far, never paid any of them, and an open case against her for not paying taxes so she just declared bankruptcy, quit her job, and filed for assistance from the state.
Because her appeal is still in review several months later I have not been able to file to have support adjusted, pay full support based on her having imputed income at minimum wage when she was making over $24.00/hr and I make half of that since she was not working, cover full pre-school expenses, and all medical bills because she has never paid any of her obligations. She has declared bankruptcy, is on the system, and lives in a bad area. She is fully capable of working and is choosing not too thus to establish the most support and government benefits she can. She will not pay bills, claims to now have money, and just got her family a season pass to the amusement park where she takes him regularly, and he is staying up all night, not ready for school in the mornings, and she causes scenes at pickups with threats, language, and poor behavior. On those days my son has hit his friends at school and has not done well.
My son is 3 now, will be 4 next year, appeal not even finished from last hearing, and I live in a great school district while hers is inner city and almost last in the state. Residency for school purposes has not been established yet however I know he would be better provided for in my care and have much better educational opportunities in my care as well. I have always wanted a son, and in fact have no family in this state and have turned down excellent federal job opps to stay here with him. My priority has always been him.
Do I wait for her to return to work to have CS adjusted? Wait til he is closer to kindergarten to have school residency started? Continue to pay all med bills bc of threats of collections etc.? Any advice would greatly be appreciated. I am tired of fighting in court and do not want too, however have needed too for my son. My atty is very expensive and I have brought all these issues up; however court is taking forever and losing documents. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated...