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Topics - ExMilitaryDad

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Father's Issues / About to begin mediation & need help
« on: Jun 17, 2016, 09:03:28 AM »

My wife recently decided that she was not happy and the grass is greener on the other side.  We have been married less than 3 years and have an 18 month old boy.  Initially she said that she knew how important I was in his life and that she would never keep him from me.  My response was that an even amount of time with each of us sounds fair. 

That obviously was not ok with her because "then I would not get as much child support."  If only I was recording conversations back then.  Since then she packed up whatever she wanted in the house along with everything to take care of my son (bed, dresser, all his clothes, all the diapers, wipes, changing pad, butt paste, etc.) and moved to her sister's.  She only allows me to see him Wednesday evenings with no overnight and then every other weekend.  She has no temp orders in to enforce this but what can I do?  Go over there and get myself arrested for trying to get my son and leave?  I am not falling for that one.  So I have been playing it cool. 

Although I about lost it the other day.  I got off work early to go pick my son up.  She had him at the pool on the hottest day of the year to date.  As I parked my truck I saw her stripping him down.  By the time I got to them she had him down to nothing but a swim diaper (she makes him wear a swim shirt, trunks and swim shoes).  She then went through the diaper bag to make sure she had everything and that I did not have any more than necessary.

 My son did not have a nap yet, by 3pm and of course was exhausted.  He fell asleep in the truck but then did not get much of a nap and was cranky all evening.  He fell asleep by 9pm which is early because she does not have him on a schedule.  So I asked if I could keep him overnight since he was asleep.  Of course she said no and came and picked him up.  Had to wake him up to do it and everything.  Made me so mad.

Now we are about to go into mediation and I want to know how to bring up many of her shortcomings; diagnosed depression & anxiety, never had a job & wants a free ride (as much child support as possible),  smokes marijuana, is currently using my son against me like a weapon, is already out partying and acting like a slut, has a side business that she is not claiming, etc. 

My initial reaction is to take my son as much as the court with grant me because I have been the sole provider, will be living in a better area with better schools/opportunities, and so forth but I also know she is a big part of his life and she loves him.  So my question is this, what do I do to show that I can take care of my son and that I belong in his life AT LEAST an equal amount of time?  I am no saint.  I am not owed any father of the year or husband of the year awards.  I cannot control that she wants to go sleep around and be single.  I just want to be with my son.  Any advice or assistance is greatly appreciated.

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