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Hello!

I am the proud mother of 3 wonderful children and step mother to my husband's equally wonderful son.  Their ages are 10, 8, 6, and 4.  We live in Perry Co.  and I am the sole custodial parent of my children and my husband and his ex share custody of their son.  We have him 90% of the time though while she still collects all of the $$$$ she can from my husband.  Like all of you I'm sure, we have too numerous problems with BM.... Luckily, my ex, my husband and I get along great!!  

Nice to meet you all!:+

Sorry to say but probably not.  If your husband is this child's father, he has an obligation to help support the child.  It really doesn't matter if he has chosen to have no contact or not.  

The judge will not take any of your debts into consideration.  There is a sheet that most states use to calculate support.  The mother's AND father's income is calculated into that in my state.  Also takes into consideration any daycare costs and medical insurance.  

I also know that in my state they will ask if there are any other children that the NCP is supporting.  

Other than that, I don't know what really to tell you except to expect to pay support.  Tighten your belt and make cuts where necessary.  I paid support for 10 years to my son's mother and while it sucked, I also realized that it was my obligation to help support my son financially.  

Are you kidding?  You want to give up your parental rights so you don't have to pay child support?  

I'm not sure if that is true or not.  I know that formerly I had joint physical and legal custody of my son and he was with me 60% of the time.  I still had to pay the same amount of child support every week.  My son was living with me for at least 12 weeks in the summer and I still had to pay every week.  The child support agency said that the custodial parent still had to "maintain the home" as if the child was there.  

Now I have had temporary custody of my son since Oct '06.  I still paid child support up until Dec '06.  BM  has not given  me a dime.  We go to court to determine custody next month.

I'm sorry but I have to agree with the other two responses!

You chose to move your son OUT of the house so your boyfriend, who your daughter accused of molesting her, could move back in?

I know that MY first priority would be the safety of my children!!  It doesn't seem that is your priority right now.

Thank you Soc!

Dear Soc,

We live in OH.

As I have posted before, I am the temporary CP of my 11 year old son.  

I'll try to make the history brief.......

BM and I agreed that it would be best for our son if he lived with me while BM finished
college.  The only concerns BM had at the time was whether or not she would be able to
make ends meet if she was not recieving child support.  In the end, BM agreed it would
be in our son's best interests to live with me.

As of June 2006, my son moved in with me full time.  My attorney, BM and myself sat down
and hammered out an agreement naming me as the residential parent but giving us joint legal
custody.  BM voluntarily got EOW visitation and two weeks summer vacation.  I offered more
but BM said she would be unable to practice more visitation due to her work and school
schedule. BM and myself signed the agreement.

The agreement was filed with the court at the end of July.  I continued to pay weekly child
support as well.  BM would pick our son up on a fairly regular basis for her visits with
him.  

By October we still had heard nothing back from the courts regarding our motion.  BM and
I had a disagreement and she decided to revoke her signature from our motion.  I received
notice from the court that BM had revoked her signature and that our motion had been set
aside.  The court set my motion for hearing.

I filed an ex parte motion with the court asking for temporary custody of my son until the
hearing and It was granted.  BM never contested.  That was Oct 06.  Six weeks went by where
BM did not pick our son up for her parenting time.  When she finally did pick our son up
for her visit, she stated to me that she wanted to come to some kind of agreement to stay
out of court.  

My attorney faxed a proposal to BM's attorney stating that; I be given custody, that BM
be given 3 weekends a month parenting time and that child support be awarded.  BM hit the
roof.  Bm stated that she would NOT agree to pay child support and that she would see me
in court.  

Almost a month goes by and BM is becoming more verbally abusive to our son.  My son meets
with his counselor who agrees that it would be best if BM's visits with our son were
supervised.  I filed an ex parte motion with the courts asking for BM to have supervised
visitation which was also granted.  BM was served in DEC '06 and has never contested this.

It is now March and BM has still not set anything up for these visits with
our son.  She has spoken to him via telephone an average of three times a month since.
It has been two months now since she was served with the supervised visitation order.

Last Friday, I got a notice from my attorney that BM has requested an immediate hearing
 on the temporary orders for custody which the courts granted me.    This makes no sense to me that she would wait so long to do this as we go to
hearing for the actual custody case on March 15th.  The immediate hearing was this past Friday and we never even went inside the courtroom. Her attorney asked if we could compromise and give BM an unsupervised visit before court and I agreed to a 10 hour unsupervised visit with BM. The visit was today and my son said it went well.

We go for the custody hearing in just under two weeks now.

As of now, my son has been living with me full time for the past 8 months. He is enrolled
in school and doing well despite his learning disabilties. He has many friends and is
involved in the sports that he so loves to play.  He also has no desire to move back in
with BM.  

questions.........

1. Will the fact that BM waited for many months to set anything up to see our son bear any weight on the judge's decision regarding custody?

2. What about the fact that BM has failed to practice her court ordered visitation?


3. In your opinion, what are my chances at keeping custody of my son?

4. What about the agreement we had in place over the summer that was filed with the court, will that bear any weight in this case?


Thank you in advance for any help you can offer me!

Thanks again Soc!

Thank you Soc!

I value my kids relationship with the NCP so I've not wanted to "make any waves" but I am starting to be concerned for the kids after the visits.

Another issue that is not discussed in our CO are extra curricular activities.  I have never denied visitation because of extra activities but my oldest is starting to not want to miss softball games and such. I provide NCP with copies of all schedules and encourage him to participate and be involved.  He almost always refuses and tells the kids they can't participate.  

I don't make a fuss because a relationship with their father is far more important BUT the kids are getting older and wanting to be involved in more things. NCP does not want to drive to the activities and I have offered to meet him halfway so the kids can still participate AND spend time with NCP.  They are not overly involved in extras, just one or two per year.

1. Could we possibly get something added to our CO concerning these issue?   I don't want to take time away from NCP, I just want the kids to be able to be involved in the things they enjoy and they would love for NCP to be there.

2. NCP states that it is too much. My kids are usually involved with baseball/softball in the summer and then soccer in the fall.  Each of these activities normally last about 6 weeks each.  Is 12 weeks a year really too much?