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It's been a long time since I've posted here.  Anyways, we pay support for my ss which is fine.  We live in Indiana.  I've been keeping track this last year and we have him more than the cp.  On her weekends he stays with friends or relatives.  I am a stay at home mom with my older son and our 2 smaller ones.  THey have joint legal but she has primary physical.  We are supposed get him eow and 1 day a week and 4 weeks in the summer.  Well we have him a lot more.  Is their a way we can get child support changed to reflect this with out having to get an attorney?  We do not even get it reduced when we have him longer than 7 consecutive days it remains the same.  Anyways I noticed the laws changed after the order was put into effect that now they go by how long he stays with both parents not just the one and can we count the days he stays with others as being with neither parent?  Thanks for any help on this matter.

Dawn

Okay I will try to help but I am very honest when it comes to being a biomom and stepmom.  I am both and have to seen both sides of the coin.

To help with state statutes look at top of page under state information and click on your state their are pages to help guide you through.

Please never say to your son if you will stand up in court and say this then I will do this.  This does not help the situation at all.  First he can voice an opinion but their still has to be a change in circumstances.  The judge will take this under advisement.  Second see if you can record conversations in your state.  If so record these.  If you have an attorney he should be able to help you.  

Even though he says this about cs doesn't mean a judge won't order if even if you agree to it.  Anyways anytime your son questions you about his dad you need to say talk to him about it.  Because it will look like you are trying to coach your son and courts do not like this.  You explain your side if need be and let him know you love him and are their for him.  As far as any legal battles or anything elsse he should not be hearing it from either side.  Have your attorney draw up something regarding this and bring it to the courts attention.  But this also means you have to watch out too.  

From him hearing that your x has the papers and he won't sign all that does is make more hardship on this child.  To me it sounds like you both are guilty of using son even if not intending to.  He should in NO WAY know anything that's going on with parents.  Go to court and take it from their.  Talk to your attorney and fight everything that's going on.  Good luck and I wish you well.  

God Bless your son and hopefully you will not take offense to what I have said but sounds like both sides are a little bitter and need to change.

Sincerely,
usayow

Dear Socrateaser,

That's what the problem was.  When we went to court the second time in July we did not have the green certified copy.  It was in the file off site of the court grounds.

Her attorney requested it but it had not been brought up yet.  So her attorney said since we do not even have the card lets just ask the mom in this case if she ever received the mail or had anyone sign for it.  So the judge swore her in and based on her testimony alone she swore that she nor anyone she knoew ever received certified mail ordering her to appear.

Well the judge believed her and overturned the ruling from June.  This is when we did more investigating into it and in fact she did receive it and signed for it herself.  That was the proof I got to our attorney.  The postman signed the green card but she had in fact signed for the certified based on a signature from the post office.  

They use some type of scanning process of the signature and have it that her postman signed the green card but she signed their copy of proof or receipt.  So she was in fact served and had notice of hearing.

This is why we want to file something against her for perjury and file a motion to get him back to us based on she was served.

1.  Can't we use the other document we received from the post office against her based on them telling us it is a legal receipt and can be used in court?

2.  Do you think a judge will take into consideration her lying to get him back and transfer custody back to us?

I'm sorry it's just we are nervous about this.

Thanks
usayow  

Dear Socrateaser:

I know you are on vacation and Im sorry but Im desparate. Real quick we went to court on June 6, 2006 and judge gave me custody of my son based on mother didn't show up. My attorney showed proof of service on her by certified mail. Judge accepted.

Now last week she ran and got an attorney and said she was never served. Went to hearing yesterday and this judge reversed the order back to her because she testified she never got served because the certified copy was in the file off site. She said she never signed for a certified mail from our attorney nor did she authorize anyone to sign for her.

Judge believed her and reversed it. I got copy of the card and it had a mans signature on it. Called the post office and they gave me proof that SHE in fact did sign for the certified mail and the guy on the green card was her postman and marked it agent but had her persoanlly sign the paper for them.

One more question, we live in Indiana and accoring to my attorney I have first right of refusal and she's arguing that I do not and that she can give son to her family to keep and not me, our attorney said I have the next first right due to I am dad or my wife because she is next in line and one of us can keep him. We have had son since May 23, 2006 and she has only seen him 2 days in that time.


She has always gotten away with lying in court and winning by lying and now we have the proof on the certified mail she in fact signed for it.

1. Should we have our attorney file perjury charges against her based on this proof and thats all the judge had to go by was her word?

2. What do you think the judge can do about the order meaning can he or she reverse yesterdays decision?

3. WHat do you think they will do to her based on this?

4. Can we argue this that now she is trying to pull son from us because of this court thing?

Thanks for your help in this matter.

usayow

Maybe I didn't explain myself I'm sorry.  But we are the supposed NCP.  We are getting an attorney and he wants to file for an emergency custody order for us to get my ss.  She has ss right now.  We get visitation.  Their is no restraining order.  We are going to file an emergency order to obtain custody then go through a trial to get permanent custody of my ss.

1.  When I asked earlier do you think we can get custody based on the dui especially since she doesn't have a license now either?  Thats the question.

2.  Do you think a judge will grant the emergency order based on this information not necessarilty the tickets?

3.  Should we ask for something since she cant drive or anything like she has to have someone with her if we get him to pick him up on her time or can we get some type of supervised somehow since she drinks?

thanks again.  Sorry about the confusion.  

that she had 2 tickets a few years ago and never showed for court or paid them.  Well last year she was threatened by bmv that her license would be suspended unless she paid.  Well she paid the one finally.  But the other is still outstanding.  Bmv hasn't done anything with it yet and neither have the courts but is still showing unpaid and did not show up for that one either.  The lady at the court house said she can't believe nothing has been done about this.

1.  Can we also use these 2 against her?  

2.  Would this help our case even more, ss was with her when she got pulled over for these?

thanks again

Thank you.  I tried to get a copy of the police report and they refused to give it to us.  They said our attorney has to subpoena it.  And yes theirs something about she has to go to a dads program and loss of license for 180 days.  It will be reviewed next year at this time to make sure she follows through with the program.  And she went to jail and someone posted her out on a 500.00 cash bond from this incident.  Can't wait to see the police report.  

Thank you for all your help.  I'm hoping this works and lets us give him a normal and stable home.  

Maybe I didn't explain myself I'm sorry.  But we are the supposed NCP.  We are getting an attorney and he wants to file for an emergency custody order for us to get my ss.  She has ss right now.  We get visitation.  Their is no restraining order.  We are going to file an emergency order to obtain custody then go through a trial to get permanent custody of my ss.

1.  When I asked earlier do you think we can get custody based on the dui especially since she doesn't have a license now either?  Thats the question.

2.  Do you think a judge will grant the emergency order based on this information not necessarilty the tickets?

3.  Should we ask for something since she cant drive or anything like she has to have someone with her if we get him to pick him up on her time or can we get some type of supervised somehow since she drinks?

thanks again.  Sorry about the confusion.  

that she had 2 tickets a few years ago and never showed for court or paid them.  Well last year she was threatened by bmv that her license would be suspended unless she paid.  Well she paid the one finally.  But the other is still outstanding.  Bmv hasn't done anything with it yet and neither have the courts but is still showing unpaid and did not show up for that one either.  The lady at the court house said she can't believe nothing has been done about this.

1.  Can we also use these 2 against her?  

2.  Would this help our case even more, ss was with her when she got pulled over for these?

thanks again

Thank you.  I tried to get a copy of the police report and they refused to give it to us.  They said our attorney has to subpoena it.  And yes theirs something about she has to go to a dads program and loss of license for 180 days.  It will be reviewed next year at this time to make sure she follows through with the program.  And she went to jail and someone posted her out on a 500.00 cash bond from this incident.  Can't wait to see the police report.  

Thank you for all your help.  I'm hoping this works and lets us give him a normal and stable home.