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Messages - step_momma_2boys

#1
Child Support Issues / RE: Child Support Woes
Aug 27, 2006, 09:38:21 PM
Does the state not compute her wages at minimum wage for 40 hrs a week?  Even if she doesn't work, I thought CS was based on both parents contributing to the child.  In our state, even if a parent just stays at home, their wages would be set at minimum wage at 40 hrs a week.  In our state, it is assumed, given there are not medical reasons a parent cannot work, that each parent can work at least 40 hrs a week.  I would press for that at the very least, or try to have her wages for what she was doing (legal secretary) computed for what the average person in that field makes an hour in your area.  I would do some checking into that if I were you.

We almost had to go through a review in which the BM was going to start.  She had voluntarily left her job and was telling me how she was going to ask for a CS review.  I told her to go ahead because I had already checked it out and because she VOLUNTARILY left her job, we would push to have her wages computed for the going rate in her area.  That would have amounted to $1.50 more an hour than what she was making when she left her job.  She, of course, didn't believe me and I told her to contact their case worker, since she is the one who told me how much they could compute BM's wages at.  Well...... that review never came forward.  BM must have checked to see if I was telling the truth and I was, of course.  She ended up going back to work since she found out she wouldn't be able to sit at home and live off of us!  LOL
#2
Child Support Issues / UPDATE
Aug 15, 2006, 11:17:29 PM
Well, DH called his case worker almost 2 wks ago and suprise, suprise, she didn't call back.  We were about to send a letter via fax and certified mail when lo and behold.... we GOT A CHECK FROM CHILD SUPPORT for the overpayment (over $400 by this point.)  I didn't think things were going to go through this quickly, and wonder if contacting the case worker got this going.  We've had to pretty much threaten to go over her head 2x now, so I'm pretty sure she new DH meant business this time too when he called.  Anyway, I'm pretty excited that they got on the ball and sent it to us, with baby #2 on the way, we really needed it.  So, now we know she got her part deposited onto the e-card visa the state furnishes... and just in time for the boys to go back.  I am really glad she didn't get it right after they got here or they would not see a cent of it.  DH is going to mention to her when she picks them up in 3 days, that she should have a good time shopping w/ the boys for SCHOOL CLOTHES AND SUPPLIES this year, as she certainly has the money for it!  (over $1600)  I am going to be so mad if she does the usual good will clothes shopping for them this year... and you can bet I will take so many pictures if they are in any clothes that doesn't fit, is holey, etc.  
#3
So are you saying that you won't get your credit back for 9 years?  Given there is a credit in 9 yrs?  The reason I thought we would get a check from the state for the balance, is because Child Support sent DH a check for a credit to take the case balance down to zero.
#4
I'm wondering if they will send us a check for the extra amount.  When we started paying child support this time around, it turned out that we had paid extra when DH paid child support before.  So, they deducted one month's worth of child support and sent DH a check for the remainder.
#5
We filed our taxes and knew that most of it would go to DH's ex to pay the arrears that was accumulated due to the judge picking a date that was retro.  That was fine w/ us since extra has been being taken out of DH's check to pay on the arrears.  We got our small portion of our taxes recently and saw the amount that they took to send to the Child Support Agency.  All of our state taxes were already taken and disbursed to DH's ex toward the arrears.  The amount that was sent out of our federal taxes is now over $430 more than what is owed to her.  I have checked and know that CS agency has not disbursed a check to her as of yet.  How do we go about making sure they only send her was is owed and not the whole amount?  And, how do we stop the order to the employer that has the extra amount taken out for the arrears?
#6
Dear Socrateaser / I apologize
May 10, 2006, 07:17:09 PM
Dear Socrateaser,
  I apologize for intruding on your board.  In the future, I will refrain from posting here on other's messages!

Sincerely,
step_momma_2boys
#7
Idaho court order for our
>vacation section. Child is two years, 2 months.
>
>"We agree that each parent shall have up to fourteen (14) days
>vacation within each calendar year, so long as thirty days
>written notice (of those dates) is given the other parent,
>provided that until child turns 5, for vacation periods of
>less than four (4) overnights, fourteen day advance notice is
>sufficient. Subject to this, when less than thirty days
>written notice is given, and vacation plans interfere with the
>other parent's schedule we agree we cannot exercise our
>vacation days with child unless we have the other parents
>consent.

First, the agreement does say you need to give 30 days notice, but until child is 5, only 14 days notice is sufficient.  Then, PP states that subject to that, IF LESS THAN 30 days is given, then consent from other parent is needed if it conflicts w/ thier plans.

That is how I would interpret what your PP says.  I think if drop off times are a problem, then you should definitely have it clarified.
#8
Parenting Issues / RE: Body Piercings
Aug 22, 2006, 07:28:05 PM
We had this same issue come up w/ my then 8 yr old SS last year.  We took my SS's back to BM and the same day she got younger SS's ear pierced at the fair in a not really clean booth, of all places.  The following week when DH picked up SS's for a few days, he didn't notice it because BM had put a band-aid over it so that DH wouldn't see it and confront her about it.  What kind of message did that send to SS, I have to wonder.  Anyway, we felt that at 8 yrs old, a boy can't really make that decision to get his ear pierced and to keep it clean.  We did let him keep it in while it was healing, but after the 6 wks, whenever they came for a visit, he had to take it out.  During the time it was healing, we had to constantly tell him to stop messing around w/ it or it would get infected.  He just went the whole summer w/o wearing an earring since he was with us... so hopefully he will have given up on wearing one altogether.
#9
General Issues / RE: Its over.....
Oct 06, 2006, 03:25:17 PM
I am so sorry for the loss.  It is so hard to take and think that you can go on.  This first while is going to be especially hard since as you said, BM feels the courts are on her side.  If she is anything like my DH's ex, she will make life so hard and contact with his DD will be so strained.  He needs to press on though for his DD's sake.  That is the only advice I can give to you guys.  Just call and call and call.  Send her letters, cards, little care packages so that she knows you guys are thinking of her.  Hopefully BM won't interfere w/ her mail.

We have been living with our loss in court for 2 1/2 yrs, and it still stings.  It has lessened, thank goodness.  But we have had to fight for our rights every step of the way.  When BM won, she acted so holier than thou.  And even told me that she is "the one with control, and she decided when and if dad can see his boys."  We have a pretty tight parenting plan now, so there is pretty much no room for argument anymore.  She has relaxed a bit, and even allows the boys to come visit at times when it's not our weekend.  But, then agian... the boys are 11 and almost 10, so they will say, "hey mom.. we want to go to dad's for this weekend because this or that is happening."  How can she refuse things to them that are important, KWIM?  Hopefully, in your situation, the BM will come to that realization.  I didn't think it would ever happen in our situation, but it has.... so there must be some hope!!!  (because, BM is evil IMO.)
#10
General Issues / RE: a few more details
May 18, 2006, 11:09:56 AM
Did you offer her a make-up day for the one day she missed out on?  A judge will be more tolerant of you withholding parenting time if it is for the child, which in this case it is, but you still need to show you are willing work w/ her about her missing time w/ her son.