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Messages - fastscott

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Colorado State Forum / RE: Child and Family Investigator
« on: Jan 27, 2007, 07:37:30 PM »
Gram,  I was surprised that you answered-I really was beginning to think that no one used this site.  May I ask who the CFI's were and who the judges have been?  I am compiling a list to publish in the future. You are right, I am a Dad.  My Girls are 13 and 16.  I may say some things here that you may not want to hear.  One is that your X has just as much right to see the children as you do.  I changed a lot of diapers.  My kids were 1 and 4 when I was divorced.  Just because he is a man does not mean that he can not take care of children.  Two, I am a firm believer that children need both parents and should have equal access to them.  I do not know what county or court you are in but pretty much most of the courts in this state will give you custody in a dispute.  About the only way this would not happen is if the judge saw you shooting up heroin as you walked into court.   What is your X asking for and what don't you want him to have?  That info might shed a little more light on the matter for me to give you any input.
 What I do know is if you leave it to Lawyers and Judges your daughters life will be screwed up forever.  For them it is only about the money no matter how much they say that it is in the Best Interest of the child and they say you should trust them.  The family court system is set up for them to keep you in it for as long as they can.  They all keep their jobs that way and their fat salaries.  You will spend money putting their kids through college and have none left to put yours through school.  My X is still running me through the courts  almost 14 years after divorce and over $150,000  in legal fees (and those are just my fees, I imagine hers are similar).  Can you imagine the college my kids could go to if that money were in their college fund.  Everytime we end up in court,  my kids are tramitized and their mother has been practicing a parental alienation tactic.  My kids and I had a wonderful relationship until the last court date this past July.  Now they are afraid to see or talk to me for fear of what their Mother will say and do.  I hope that this is not what you would want for your daughter.   I have never started a proceeding-I hate courts and lawyers and judges now.
  Right now with the little info I have from you is to give you this advice-give a little and take a little.  If you want to discuss further I am available here.  I won't wish you luck-I will wish your daughter luck.  I hope in the long run that she is the winner and not you or your X.  I hope you can understand what I just said.

Just one more thing about what you said about the overnights now because she is still in diapers and has never spent a night away from you.  Children bond at this early age-do you want her to bond just with you.  A child is best served when they bond with both parents, all contemporary child studies state this fact.  And when is a good time to start the overnights.  Unless you are breast feeding her I do not understand why she shouldn't have overnights with her father unless he is a drug addict or something.  To ease the transition you might write out the schedule you have her on so that he can keep to it.
This guy must have some redeaming qualities-You did marry him.

well, enough said for now.  If I sound to pro-Dad to you,  You must understand that I am a good Father who has been run through the ringer and I am seeing first hand how much my Daughters are being screwed up by this whole thing and the family court system

Good night!    

Colorado State Forum / Does anyone from Colorado use this site
« on: Jan 23, 2007, 06:51:47 PM »
I am just wondering if anyone from Colorado uses this site?

If you are from Colorado -please post an answer.

Colorado State Forum / RE: Child and Family Investigator
« on: Jan 23, 2007, 06:36:13 PM »
The CFI is just a hired gun.  If he hires them they willl be his gun to use on you.  He can recommend and the court will ok it unless you can recommend your own.  Submit your own list to the court.  Do not let him get his first choice.  My x wife has used CFI's successfully against me only because I could not afford my own.  CFI's are very expensive-$3,000 to $10,000 for each evaluation.  if he gets a CFI, do not be lulled into thinking that they are there for the best interests of your children-they are not your friend.  They are in it for the money.  If his lawyer recommended the CFI it is because he gets the results that he wants from them.  Do not beleive that these "professional" people are honorable.  Do whatever you can to get your own CFI appointed.  Judges like to have a CFI involved because it takes them off the hook.
In 90% of the cases the judge will just Rubber stamp what the CFI says.
Know now that you are entering very expensive waters.  You have one major thing going for you that puts you one step up.  You are a woman.  Colorado favors the women 9 to 1.  Now , having said that I will tell you that the best interest of the child is to have equal access to both the father and the mother.  That is if you want to have a healthy child.  If you want money then go for sole custody and limited visitation for the father.  If you are able to match him dollar for dollar in the custody procedings you will win.  But , as I said a child (especially a girl) needs access to their father.  I would reccomend that you sit down with him and try to work out an equitable visitation and a shared custody arraingement.  If you leave it to a judge one or both of you will be dissapointed .  Judges say they do things in the best interests of the child but in my experience all they do is screw things up.  Work things out on your own with the X.  Give a little -take a little.  It will be more harmonious in the end and your child will be best served by harmony between her parents.  Thats all I have got to say

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