Messages

1

Father's Issues / Re: So child is 15 now...

« on: May 11, 2017, 07:58:02 PM »

I was just thinking of filing a complaint at the friend of court. she will have to answer that. Filed numerous complaints before and nothing ever happened. But at least I have a record of it.

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Father's Issues / Re: So child is 15 now...

« on: May 10, 2017, 08:01:58 PM »

Well mom asked for no child support in our agreement to allow her to move. I'm just asking for visitation to be enforced.  if it gets to the point where she just dont want to come then fine. leave it on a verbal basis. No need to change the entire order.

At the same time I feel like the goal is for me to do nothing and that in turn will bite me in the ass. Dad never complained about not losing visitation so he must not care about it.

texted child last night finally got a reply at 10:30pm  (her bed time is 930pm)  she says she thinks she needs to just be away for a while...

Im so frustrated because I honestly see no reason for this behavior. Even if there was a event where I could say ok I know why she is mad etc. I could understand. this stuff comes out the blue.

Taken from expert law.com
In some states, where a denial of access is extreme, a court may suspend child support until issues of access are resolved. In most states, child support and access to the children are treated separately. Either way, the court will expect that its child support order will be followed unless and until it modifies that order, and a parent who is not obeying the court's order is in a weaker position to complain about the other parent's non-compliance, and may cause the court to question their motives – whether they're truly concerned about contact, or whether their primary concern is financial.

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Father's Issues / Re: So child is 15 now...

« on: May 08, 2017, 08:06:15 PM »

Child dident want to come again this weekend. Funny thing is I called her on Thurs and had a good convo with her. Diden't talk about anything stressful and next thing I know I get a text on friday saying she dident want to come down.  so frustrating. Im really wrestling with filing these complaints. looks like Im gonna have to start doing something. Her mom was texting me saying it wont get fixed overnight... it'll prob be months. I can honestly say I dont trust her.  they are up to something. i know their ultimate goal is to change the order.

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Father's Issues / Re: So child is 15 now...

« on: May 03, 2017, 08:05:38 PM »

One thing Ive noticed is things she tends to get here, shoes etc stay here. she never wants to take them home with her.  perhaps its a memory of this house I don't know.

so I'm really going back and forth on filing at least a complaint for missed parenting time. I have done so several times in the past and every single time absolutely nothing happened. I'm trying to be open minded but also want things documented in case we do go back to court. Any suggestions

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Father's Issues / Re: So child is 15 now...

« on: May 02, 2017, 05:41:51 PM »

were roughly 90 miles apart.   Long story short, had parenting time with child 10 out of every 14 days. kept pursuing week on week off parenting time as we both lived in the same city at the time. Finally got to the point I was going to get it and mom decided to move 90 miles away. Court would not allow it, so since she was moving for a "job" I would more then likely not be able to prevent her from moving, so we came to an agreement.  Well first she said if you let me move you won't have to pay child support. I  said, NO I want joint physical/legal and she did not want them words in there, so I said see ya in court. with her running out of time she eventually agreed. This was in 2010.

we've had some flare ups from time to time. A bogus cps case which was dropped due to zero evidence. But I think that was mom's first attempt to try and change the order while trying to look innocent.  Now it's child don't want to come and it's her choice. She told me she wants me to have a good relationship with child... (I almost died laughing when she said this.)

My relationship with child is strange. You can think you had a good weekend together and next thing ya know she is really upset about something out of the blue and dont want to come the visit the next time. I don't get it.  Most of the time child comes here with the intention of not having a good time and wanting to spend time with everyone except me.  Lately her issues have been more focused on my fiance of 10 years. She used to like her more then me, but ever since the cps issue my fiance took that very personally and my daughter is not her favorite person. They have minimal conversation and i'm sure that it helping to contribute to our current on going situation.   (I'll take advice for this one too)

The constant theme is pretty much that mom is the most important person in her world. In fact nothing comes before mom.  Ive been dealing with that forever. She just wants to be with mom and nothing else really matters.

Just this last weekend we had a strange situation happen. I got a text from mom asking if she could drop her off. I didn't realize it was not my weekend. so I just said sure no problem. (Now in 14 years of court orders this has never happened.) She has never gave me a extra weekend or gotten confused on weekends.  so she drops child off. we did mention that it was not our weekend and the child said its not a problem with her. She was also unusually cheery. we had plans that night in which we invited child to go with us.. she did not want to.  we were only going to be gone a few hours so we took her over her favorite grandmas house.

Next thing I know I get a text from mom saying She wants to come home. and Mom is on her way to pick her up.

Were located in Michigan. Since it was mom's idea to no child support in order what are chances she could say she wants it now. I think her plan is to try and get it now. and change the custody labels.  She should earn more then me as she is a registered nurse so Im not sure if we will still just go by overnights or not.
 

6

Father's Issues / So child is 15 now...

« on: May 01, 2017, 08:18:01 PM »

Our child is 15 now, and is getting kinda sketchy on the weekend parenting time. sometimes it comes with a lame excuse and other times just says I don't wanna come. we have had a few occasions where school functions interrupted my scheduled parenting time.

Mom is saying its her choice to come and child believes that it is in fact her choice.  Ive been trying to avoid going to court, but I feel I'm going to have to start filing complaints etc.

My feeling is mom is encouraging the missed parenting time to try and go back to court to change our custody labels. I do in fact have joint physical custody. so I'm kind of wondering if child is missing  court ordered parenting time for whatever reason would be court be willing to go back in and say, your going to lose your joint custody.,

7

Father's Issues / child and step mom stress.

« on: Dec 26, 2015, 07:20:53 PM »

Just looking for ideas here. Sorry for the rant but I just dont know how to really deal with this. Long story short.

Daughter usually came to us in a bad mood etc. Well my girlfriend for a long time always tried to get her excited about new things etc well it usually backfired. I worked alot so I guess I depended on her a little to much. Now the GF and I have a child as well.

Recently we had a situation come up regarding my oldest child and cps was involved. Everything was dropped due to no evidence, but my GF took it as a attack on her fitness as parent when the whole thing never involved her. She believes it was my child's goal to get her child taken away from her.  to get me put in jail etc. So needless to say GF does not really want to be around my oldest child. Which creates conflict in our relationship.  I understand its not always easy, but I simply told her to just be nice to her. I mean how hard is it to just attempt to be nice to someone.  Especially a 13 year old.

Well now child and I are in counseling. we are trying to work through it. I am seeing a improvement in attitude and little things like that. My GF seems to think it's all an act. obviously I just cant walk away from my child and now I have another child so now I am stuck in the middle. I'm never gonna win. I understand that. but somehow We gotta find some sort of balance.

GF Had made my daughter enemy number 1 and told me tonight that she does not like her.... I'm just floored. Especially since we've had a couple good days in a row and any sort of happy life seems to be simply wasting away. GF seems to think she deserves an award for being fake nice to the kid.

We have been together 9 years and never really had a fight until the last year of this all. Now its all we do. Especially when we have my other child or were about to.

I told her we need counciling but she seems to think she dont.

Has anyone been through anything similar.

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Father's Issues / Re: cell phone Topic in counciling

« on: Dec 02, 2015, 07:55:26 PM »

Yes I plan on it. Since our last session 2 weeks ago where therapist said that my calls need to be a priority, I have had exactly 1 phone call from child. Sadly that was simply because for whatever reason she missed my call and called me directly back. I have tried to call and text her several times.

Then I had child that weekend. She stayed at Grandmas. (were taking the resuming parenting time very cautiously for our own protection.) Child informed me that they did not want to do homework and would do it when returning to moms house. I informed the child that it needed to be done if we are going to do anything fun. I even tried contacting mom and explained the situation in text. mom never responded.
 
Since I am owed make up time I asked child in front of the therapist if I could use some of it over the thanksgiving holiday? Child seemed kind of interested as we had big family plans and family coming in from out of town. The child said she would let me know. She had to ask mom etc.  Well I never heard from them.

So I am gonna walk in and simply say. I gave it a chance. Gave the child a opportunity and nothing changed. and we are keeping our policy on the cell phone in place.  Child will not carry it around. it can either stay home or on the counter. 

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Father's Issues / Re: cell phone Topic in counciling

« on: Nov 28, 2015, 10:22:07 PM »

This person is a licensed social worker. This is the one mom wanted and the child took an instant liking to . More then likely because she was mom's choice. I wanted a licensed marriage and family therapist but their not the easiest to find.

Anyhow one thing I found kinda funny is how the therapist is trying to push moms agenda a little bit. Maybe it's only to help promote communication but I cant say for certain.  Yes i have had a single session with therapist as well as joint session with child as well.

I did discuss the phone calls with therapist in front of the child. that's when therapists said dads phone calls needed to be a priority. I was hoping to see a little change but we are back to square one with all the phone call madness.

10

Father's Issues / Re: cell phone Topic in counciling

« on: Nov 27, 2015, 08:01:01 PM »

I also attempted to discuss parental alienation with therapist. She kinda brushed it off and said its more likely to happen to women but the child is still kind of guarded so she don't see it yet.