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Haven't been back here in quite some time...  Nothing has changed much at all. Here or in my case to be a father to my son.  I retained an attorney for petition of paternal rights and to establish child support and visitation. I did it in July of 2006. I was not married to his mother , though we did have a very close relationship (eg: lived together,loved each other. We were together for 2 years up until the birth of our son. This child was highly anticipated by both of our very close families. It was too perfect for all of us and destined to last forever. Incompatibility set in as soon we left the hospital with our son. Ive heard of PPS but never experienced it with my daughters mother. My daughter is the child's sister who was also very involved in the pregnancy and spent every day  besides school days with us in our shared rental house. Everyone was VERY close to say the least.  Long story short, Our child was not to be seen by anyone unless by appointment,especially family. Our   newborns  big sister  wasn't allowed to hold him and I was forbidden to change him,or get very close to him at all. Co-parenting was not on her agenda and i was told to move out after the first week he was home from the hospital. In October of 2006 while at work I received a certified informing that she had moved to Connecticut and that this was in her best interests. We lived in Florida. I haven't seen our child since that time and we all know what year it is now. Even with legal reprsentation and myself being the Petitioner I have managed to get nowhere after a very long time. So, [email protected], you sound like almost all of the fathers that Ive read about on this site. Good Luck in your foundation formation, hope I can help.

    Thank you for taking the time to respond at such great length and detail. Everyone , that is. Because YOU won gives me greater hope obviously. I have painstakingly gone through this entire process thus far through the proper legal guidelines, but as you said the hardships and humiliation sometimes seem to outweigh the results I get. It has taken a long time to realize that I am going through this for our son and not just to make my pain go away. Today will be the day that I (hopefully) get to see my son for the first time in what seems like forever, so , time to start another chapter in the journal. I have a plan. I have mental ammunition and I have a desperate need to show BM how to  co parent our child. My 12 yr. old daughter is out of town with her mother (by the way is extremely well co parented) much to her dismay for 3 days. Her baby brother will be here for 10 days . I just wanted to feel out the situation at first to see how rational Ex will be before exposing my daughter to another disappointment in front of her brother. I have been through this before but with nowhere near the problems that I'm having now.2 completely different poeple I guess. I am taking my vacation while Ex is in town with my son, so I will have even more time to devote to resolving this situation as well as a mediation towards the end of the week. I'll let you know how it went. Praying for the best....Thank you for your time.....Fight I will brother...fight i will        

Maybe you could help me. How did you prove that the mother was abusing alcohol and smoking in her home? Was it done through her home study? I am going through a serious interstate custody/visitation case with my  Xgf who took our son out of his home state and is refusing all contact, denying my parental rights,you name it. She left our home state after a bitter year long battle trying to get me out of my 4mo. old sons life before she snuck away while I was at work.   I believe one of the reasons for this is so she could continue to drink without me knowing about it. Its hard to prove from so far away. Luckily our home state is continuing to hold jurisdiction on the case. I have never been a snitch for lack of a better term, but my sons welfare is far more important and she has not acted on behalf of his best interest since he was born. I have posted in the Fathers Issues forum on this site under "Broken Down"if you could check it out. My court dates are nearing and anything you could advise me on would be greatly appreciated.  

I'm not currently ordered to pay my Son's BM CS. I do anyway. Attorney's have been hired and fired for over a year now trying to sort everything out. I have retained one who has stuck with me through this from the beginning. BM is on her 3rd. Unfortunately for our 1.5 yr old son, he doesnt  know  his father, yet ....and the CS that I send to BM , I was told by her, covers "her attorney's fees". I pay CS to be a responsible father. I pay my attorney to represent me so that one day I will have a legal , court protected, relationship with my son. Apparently I am also paying someone to take that right away. CS should go directly to child care providers, grocery stores, clothing stores, school supply stores,Schools. In other words DIRECTLY to a childs neccessities. Not the PRP's checking account,especially if a Judge has'nt ruled on  the issue. Different situation, same frustration.Thank you for sharing, and thankyou for letting me rant onyour post. In case everyone reading and posting didnt notice, I'M Back! and more desperate than ever  for helpful insight and  witty, hard hitting, unbiased advice and opinions. TGFSPARC Deltabravo!

Sounds like alot to deal with and I understand your concern. As far as I know "Wellness Checks" can be called in to any police dept. at any time of the night or day regardless of current ongoing civil issues. Request that an officer go to the residence and check the "wellness" of the child and Id's of persons there. The officer may just be the one that solves your issues of proof. Like I said in the beginning though" as far as I know". I'm no expert by a longshot.

Could someone please clarify what the term "concede" means before I get into details about my situation. I hope it does'nt mean what I think it does. Thanks for any information.  < Lost & Frustrated

    I want to thank all of you for responding to inquiries from me. It has helped alot, even knowing that someone actually reads this stuff. I will be on vacay while Ex is here with my son. She still isnt agreeing to visitation as of yet. She should be here in a couple hrs. I'm freaking out. Any way I will let everyone know what happens as we go along. Thanks again

Things are definitely moving along this week. Ex will be arriving this Thurs. with our son in tow. Thank God. I am so excited. A little nervous, but excited nonetheless. I worried for days about what to expect when I see him for the first time in 8 months. This is the tragedy of having your child taken away at such a young age (4 mos. old). All the pain seems to be coming to the surface, but I know that showing emotion is probably not a good idea. I've come to the conclusion that no matter what happens I will stay calm and cool and do my best to act like its just another day. Its unlikely he will know who I am, which hurts, except for maybe a necklace that he was obsessed with as he was growing and my mannerisms. Possibly my face , but Im not counting on it. I will start over . So, Ex calls last night out of the blue, she never calls, and I stopped calling her which was advised by my atty. Our son is obviously to young to talk on the phone with me. Anyway she's extremely nice(intoxicated) and says that she wants to make the visitation as smooth as possible allowing me the most possible time with him, she won't interfere w/our bonding time, she will let me have him as long as i want unsupervised after she sees he is comfortable with me(not believing any of this). I kept my ears open and my mouth shut. Further elaborating on the mistakes she's made by doing all of this to me and knowing how hurt I must be. Whoa! Apparently the responding schedule that me and my atty came up with yesterday along with some legal terminology  exposing her for what she is doing had some effect on her. She pretty much agreed to everything except for a few minor adjustments. Well that was yesterday, today its back to maybe this, maybe that, some of it is just impossible,bla bla bla. Today I just let her talk again and just listened. I plan on sticking to my schedule and notating what she did the whole week and bringing it to mediation on friday and to court on monday. Oh yeah, she never mentioned the case management conference at all. Oh well, just have wait and see. Any advice on the reunion and how I should conduct myself at first would help. Thanx for everything

I went ahead and enrolled my son on my employers plan, figured it could only help. Also, yes, the mediation is court ordered and scheduled for the 1st of June. Another one of her visitation "schedules" was faxed over to me on fri. 05/18 with alot of vague TBD and OPEN times of visitation basically allowing me minimal time at her convenience. I am supposed to sign off on this , so my atty was contacted with this also. Today my atty has prepared a response with actual times and days that the visitation should occur before I sign anything. Ex told me that if I didnt sign, no visition would occur. Her atty is basically rewriting these conditions for the EX. Yes, I have been impatient. 8 months is a long time. Nontheless a prayer was answered without me contacting the judge. Thurs. 05/17 I received in the mail a notice for a case management conference that appears , tell me if I'm wrong, the judge wants to know what is taking so long. It states both parties and counsel to appear and requesting mediation results and to further the case to trial if necessary. The judged looked me in the face on March 19th(EX defaulted, but was dismissed) and told the attys that they both had 15 days to schedule mediation because "this mans needs to see his son". I could be way off but it sounded like I might have a decent and fair judge. Here I am 63 days later still waiting for the 1st of June. The date for the case mngmnt. is June 4th and Ex is planning on leaving back to CT. on 3rd. Unless waived by the court she is supposed to appear. Dillema for her maybe. Ex hasnt mentioned it. Oh well . Have to wait and see.

I talked to the Ex last night to inquire about adding my son to my insurance offered by my job. Open enrollment is in 2 days. She declined having my employer cover him, stating that " He has insurance through the State of Connecticut", along with numerous other expletives. Is this considered welfare? And why should she not want me to have insurance on him? Another form of alienation possibly? She simply doesnt want me involved in any area of his life. I also inquired about the visitation again and was told ,"He will not be left alone with you and there will be no overnights", " You are a drug addict and alcoholic!" I really cant wait to see how she plans on proving these statements to a judge.Apparently she is going to use these against me at the advice of her attorney. Its going to get ugly I'm sure. I have prepared several statements that I would like to fax the judge that is residing over my case. Is this a good idea or not? I am desperate and feel like my attorney has abandoned this case until the mediation comes on the 1st of June. Should I get the insurance anyway in case I do end up with custody? Sounds like a stupid question, obviously better safe than sorry. Or will they require extra CS to cover the existing insurance that he is on? So many questions my atty should be answering. Thanx 4 anything u might know   JK in FLA