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Messages - elaine60

#1
Dear Socrateaser / Can you show intent?
Mar 27, 2009, 10:27:37 AM
My DH will be going to court in June. His attorney filed rule to show cause for contempt of court against his daughter's mother for visitation. Dh has not had the court ordered visitation since July of last year.
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Dh has joint legal custody with mother, with mother being primary caregiver and father to have schedule visitation from Thursday through Sunday of every other week and one day on the week he does not have weekend visitation. He also is supposed to receive every other holiday and 6 weeks in the summer.
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Mom is stating that daughter does not want to have parenting time with dad in his home. Mom also claims that dad and stepmother are mentally abusive to daughter with absolutely no proof of any abuse.
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Mom has been causing nothing but chaos since the beginning of 2005. This is the second time he has file contempt against her for visitation interference. He could of filed for so many other things its uncanny. The first instance of contempt was settled in Dh attorney chambers with DH, mom and both attorneys' present. <o:p></o:p>
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Just recently with acquiring his daughter school records there are more items of evidence to prove that mom has done nothing to encourage any involvement for dad with his child.<o:p></o:p>
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My questions is can a person go back in time with evidence to show the intentions of the mother to remove the father's access from the child's life?<o:p></o:p>
#2
Father filed rule to show cause against mother for visitation contempt.
Not the first time. First time was settled in attorney's chambers with father winning. 
Mother is claiming that daughter is refusing to have visitation with father.
Yet daughter is having to ask mother when daughter wants to go with father.
Daughter is 15 and does everything her mother asks her to, even denying her own father or calling him bad names, saying she hates him, etc.

Father has proof that mother has been instigating this for years. Mother's attorney has brought up items from 4 years ago.

Father's attorney states that if it not current it does not matter.

Father and stepmother feel that the past occurences will go to show mother's intent of removing father from daughter's life.

Father and mother have joint legal custody.   Mother does not make father aware of anything of importance.

Daughter was evaluated and accessed as learning disabled. Daughter has yearly meeting to discuss schools plans on helping daughter. Father just found out by attorney acquiring all of daughter's school records.

Mother has a relative of her husband's listed as daughter's legal guardian, also in daugher's school records. Father never had knowledge.

Mother took daughter to doctor and had her put on birth control. Did not tell father she was doing so. 

Mother moved and father did not know until daughter called and told him not to come to old house to pick her up.

What would you use in court and what is admissable?
#3
How do they figure support on a teenager if they are allowed to pick there own schedule for parenting time.  This is very foreign to me because up until my kids were 18 they had a set visitation schedule and I respected my ex enough to make sure that they either stuck to it or gave make up time. We were able to work around there schedule for school activities and holiday visitation time was a must.

Now things I guess are different, now teens get to make the decisions or so they say, we have yet to see. But if they do allow this how in the world can they give the noncustodial parent a credit if they do not know how many days?
#4
Visitation Issues / Restricting visits
Nov 14, 2008, 11:41:18 AM
We are pretty sure that DH daughter will be talking to the judge in chambers concerning the
modification of parenting time. With some of the things that have been said I am wondering if his daughter will suggest to the judge that she will have visitation with her dad at our home if I am not present. Has anyone ever heard of this before.

DH said there is no way that they would ask for that since there is no abuse. He said I could never imagine a judge ordering that.

What do you think?
#5
This whole situation rose up because the minor child became closer with the NCP and his partner back in 2003 when the CP was having personal problems with a relationship and left the child in their care for the summer. The following two years the child actually spent almost equal time in both homes. Because of this the child became closer with the NCP and their partner. When the CP finally got their personal life in order and they met someone and got married the CP worried about where the child's loyalties were. Not once did they stop to think that the child could love more than one person. When the child voiced there opinion about wanting to live with the NCP and their partner the CP started to feel threatened and then ensued the bashing of the NCP and their spouse. The NCP talked to an attorney but was told that it would be very hard to try to get the custody modified and he also advised since the NCP was getting to have the child more than the visitation agreement stated to leave well enough alone. Sadly the NCP did not tell the child what the attorney stated so in turn I am sure that the CP told the child that the NCP did not try.

Gone was the happy loving child and in its place became a very emotional and distraught one. In the CP eyes nothing the NCP or their partner did was ever good enough. The CP constantly pushed for their spouse to be a replacement for the NCP in the child life. CP began telling the child stories about the NCP and CP when they were together that was not true. More and more the negation continued to the point that child themselves was beginning to make up stories about the NCP and their partner.

At one point the NCP had a counselor in the home to try to counteract the negative energy that was coming from the CP home. For a while it worked until the caseworker decided that help was no longer needed. The CP waited a couple of months after the NCP and their partner got married and the counselor was no longer around then the negation started again. Even the littlest situation was blown out of proportion. The child learned through all of this the more negativity that they created and the more stories they told the CP the more attention they got. Even if the NCP or their spouse tried to do anything special with the child the CP would immediately try to one up them and the child would come back with the response look what NCP or the stepparent did for me. What you did does not compare.

During all this time the CP kept telling the child that they had only one home, one set of pets and only one set of parents that they had to listen to and it sure was not the NCP. It was programmed in the child's mind that they were old enough to make their own decisions.  The CP would go out of their way to cause trouble on the NCP weekend by instigating the child with negative reactions to anything that would happen. Finally the last thing the child did was to make a bad reference to the NCP partner and the partner called them on it.  The interaction between the child and the NCP partner was blown out of proportion and twisted to make it sound as if the partner was the one who called the child the offensive names.

The CP even got their parents involved and they too negated the NCP and their spouse. The grandfather even took the child to an attorney. I cannot imagine why an attorney would tell a child to go against a court order but then the court order is between the NCP and the CP, maybe in their eyes that created a loophole.
All they have done is taught a child to have no respect for one of their parents. They have taught the child to do whatever it takes to be in control even if it means placing their own parent in a negative light.

The worst part of this whole situation is that the only one that will be hurt is the child in the end!
#6
No they were filed for noncompliance of the parenting time guideline
For scheduling the minor child in non required classes during the NCP visitation time.
Lack of notice of intent to change or modify the visitation schedule.

The issue of disparging the other parent was brought up in attorney quarters in front of the NCP and the CP attorneys. The CP attorney told the CP that they could not trash the other parents character nor could she control the other parents household.

Currently they both have joint legal custody with one being the primary caregiver.

Grounds for modification is that the minor child and the NCP are placing the CP in the middle because the child wants to make all of her own decision concerning time with the NCP and her wanting to have her teenage life.

Pretty much the CP is teaching the child that a court order means absolutely nothing.

The NCP has always allowed the child to participate in anything that they wanted to. The reason why the decision to enroll the child in classes upset the NCP was because the NCP had scheduled vacation time off to spend the two weeks with the minor child.  In the end the NCP spent there time off driving the child back and forth 120 miles a day for classes that mostly only lasted till noon each day.
#7
Indiana
Current parenting time guidelines are every other weekend and rotation of holidays and six weeks in the summer, in two week intervals.

Visitation schedule has been enforce since 1999
In 2006 contempt charges were issued for visitation refusal. Issues were settled in attorney chambers with CP conceding the refusal and providing holiday make up time. The issue was addressed at that time by the CP that the minor child then 13 was old enough to decide whether they wanted to visit or not. CP also did not feel that it was NCP right to take child to church even though the child wanted to go.
The CP also thought that they should not have to provide an emergency number when leaving the state with the child.
Before the issues in 2006 the minor child had stated to the CP that it was their wish to reside with the NCP. From that point forward the CP has done everything to negate the NCP in the eyes of the minor child. It was also brought up in the meeting that the CP and the stepparent had made derogatory remarks about the NCP in front of the child when the child was talking to the NCP on the phone. The CP denied it and the NCP attorney asked the CP if they wanted to listen to taped conversations where the CP had.

Documentation for noncompliance was made with the local police, which were called to the residence by the NCP.
#8
I filed against my ex for contempt for not facilitating visitation and my ex filed for modification of parenting time. Will we actually have a hearing or how do these cases usually work?
#9
You mirror our thoughts
#10
Could someone possibly tell me when they came up with the idea that when a child becomes a teen that they have the decision of whether or not they want to be parented by both parents. I have been told on several different forums that in the state of Indiana, judges are now allowing minors to decide whether or not they want both parents involved in there lives. I was also told they are basing these decisions on just what the teen has to say. No background research, no testimony, no nothing, just the word of the teenager.

It makes you wonder sometimes what the heck is going on.  If a parent stops supporting a child then they are called a deadbeat. What are children and ex's called that refuse to allow one of the parents there right to parent?

If I child literally disowns you because you have there best interests at heart and they don't agree with your rules why is it a judges place to decide whether or not you are allowed to see the child.  Does the judge want to pay the child support for a child who deny's a parents existance.

I think its time that the tactics of our judicial system is more and more questions when it comes to decisions about families.