« on: Aug 29, 2008, 09:30:32 am »
You are exactly right about everything here. And how did you know that his work environment was conducive to drug and alcohol abuse?
When you say advisor/counselor what do you mean? My own lawyer besides the mediator? How would that help? Would that person talk to the mediator? Right now he has agreed to mediation, but in order to actually go to court he has to take me and I think he would prefer not to do that because he would be afraid of how it would turn out.
I did talk to a lawyer twice about my situation. She told me that since I have full custody, I can do whatever I want and in her opinion I shouldn't let the dad have him at all that according to her he should only have supervised visitation.
But that didn't work of course because it wasn't court ordered and he doesn't respect me. In my state, he has to take me to court to get visitation rights otherwise he doesn't have any innately.
I guess earlier in my posts when I referenced him as a good dad, I think that is because he contacts me every day to see my son. That's good, right? But it is not good for me or for moving on with my life, and I don' t know sometimes if he wants to see our son, or me, or get me upset. As Davy said, I am confused, I definitely want to do the right thing, and I want to trust that the dad will not put our son in danger, and be willing to listen to some guidelines I put in place - mainly about safety issues, nutrition and absolutely no second hand smoke.
Those would also be the reasons I wouldn't want him to watch him 8 -9 hours a day. I think he would get bored and start driving around with S. illegally to his friends house, who would smoke around him, probably cigarettes and pot and just aren't people I think my son should be around.
I realize that is my opinion, I realize I got myself into this with him, and I take responsibility for that but at the same time, I am going to do everything I can to keep my son safe and give him a chance at life that doesn't involve substance abuse etc.