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Messages - LadyS

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Dear Socrateaser / Re: Q: who would be the petitioner & other ?'s
« on: Sep 02, 2009, 03:13:57 AM »
Much thanks for the replies. 
DH hasn't signed anything.  He did reply regarding provisions he wouldn't/ won't agree to.  She's absolutely livid now. We're hoping that wasn't a bad mistake but worried it would be bad to give no acknowledgement   She told DH her attorney has everything and our attorney will be getting it..Told DH any/all communication will be thru her attorney.
DH enrolled his son in school last year & this year, under our address..pure luck or God's Will
Before the 5th school she changed son to, Mom did give DH prior notice (never before). DH let her know in writing he wasn't agreeable (her church's unaccredited school w/only 20 kids enrolled).  She was going to anyway so DH got her to sign agreement that should she choose to switch child's school again, child would attend this school DH has him enrolled in.. Temp orders restrain child from being withdrawn.
DH's son had to be held back, to 7th grade, when enrolled last year because he couldn't pass state tests, after attending her church's school  
Mom does have standard visitation in temp orders..except after 1st hearing she filed a 'rule 11' and designated to have no week day overnights and waived visitation on any day child has extracurricular activity. We're maybe a couple miles apart & she knew son plays football & basketball every year.
Stepson's grades and school behavior have never been better.  He has many friends, at school, from the years DH coached him in football. DH sought an agreed Mod, back in 2002, to get to enroll son in 1 activity per year. A year later,after much hell, he got it. Before the ink was dry she had stepson enrolled in baseball & soccer.  DH gave 8 months notice each yr to be able to coach his son.
It's sad and we are scared.  She's working on the child big time..promising him things, buying him much. He wrote us letters back when he was asking to live w/ us listing how his mom hated any time he had w/DH. He apoligized for the times he went along w/what his mom was offering instead of seeing his dad etc.  But we know he's still not above her bribes and would/will go along w/her instructions if it suits him in the moment..
When he was 10 he disappeared for 4 hours. We searched and searched w/the police. When he was found, he screamed to the police "don't make me go w/him. He beats me!"  DH already had him in play-time therapy a cple yrs. He told DH and the therapist that his mom told him what to say to the police; & spent those 10days w/us as though nothing had occurred.
It's been years of waiting and knowing another malicious thing is coming..never bad mouthing her or falling to her level.  We never took her to court because she was already tellng dh's son that his dad was trying to take him from her..until his son asked him to..and we don't know if he would lie in court for her

Dear Socrateaser / Q: who would be the petitioner & other ?'s
« on: Aug 29, 2009, 06:39:26 PM »
DH petitioned for right of primary residence, of his child [14], back in January..per his child's request & in DH's consideration of child's best interest.  He received temp orders giving him this. 

Final hearing was set for this past May.  3 days prior to hearing (on mom's bday), child signed preference to live w/mom.  Mom requested Judge meet w/child in chambers.  At hearing, Judge met w/ child for 1 hour.  Judge ordered no changes..father keeps right of primary residence.

So, DH still has the temp order from January.

2 weeks after hearing, mom had attorney send settlement offer.. mom primary, DH standard visits, no cs, she pay health insurance.  DH replied that its only been 2 wks since Judges orders for no changes..so no. Also, that he wouldn't agree to standard visits (as he had more than standard prior) or to not pay cs.

Now we receive CO's for DH to review, sign, and return to her attorney.  DH is not agreeable to these
CO's.  The footnote (bottom of co pages) state mom's name.  DH sent mom email stating he can't agree to stuff in the co & they never came to agreements before CO was drawn up.  Mom will not reply even though DH wrote that he will work w/her toward agreed terms.

1.  Should these CO's list dH as Petitioner?

2.  Should they list mom as person w/ exclusive right to designate primary residence & therefore the right to consent to Mod by her signature?

3.  If she takes us back to court can we have her pay our costs & fee's?

4.  Would the Judge be understanding of DH not agreeing to the following:

Mod would give mom no geographic restriction, no cs for child..would make DH's health insurance secondary (hers is new, cheap, and inadequate) & there are some things DH would like to request if he gives up/loses primary.

Our attorney said retainer we paid would cover all thru final hearing. 2 days after hearing in May we received new bill & it's adding up each time her attorney sends something. We're broke :(

Here goes..

Husband has temp orders (Order in Suit To Modify Parent Child Relationship)w/him having right of primary residence for 14 yr old. Has had temp orders since January. Final hearing was scheduled for past May.

Child signed preference to reside w/mother 3 days prior to hearing, on mom's bday. Mom also filed motion for child to meet w/Judge in chambers.
Judge spent 1 hour w/child. Judge ordered no changes..Husband still has temp orders w/exclusive right of designating child's primary residence.

Mother's attorney sent settlement offer 6-4-09..Mother primary, husband standard visits, no child support, & mother pay health insurance. Husband replied "No. Hasn't been a month since Judge ordered no changes."

This week husband's attorney receives proposed Mod of CO's for husband's review. It contains provisions of above settlement offer. It lists husband as petitioner & under Consent by person w/ exclusive right to Designate Primary Residence it lists mother & states as evidenced by her sig.

Husband doesn't want proposed co's. Should he be listed as Petitioner?? Why would it say mother has above bolded right?

There's more but basicly we're at a loss. No money for more court hearings, mother isn't going to permit child peace living w/us. She's spent yrs attempting to alienate the child from husband, our fam. Bribery, cps & false allegations etc. The child has not spoken of last court date w/husband or our fam at all but we know mother is discussing her agenda w/child. Child seems happy w/us but he would've said he wants to continue living w/ us, if that was his preference.

So where to go from here..Husband could fight her but that will only feed into helping her brainwash the child that his father is her enemy?
Advice anyone? What are the chances the Judge would say no to her & child again? Not that we can afford more legal fee's. Trying to figure out counter proposed co's.

We're like a mile apart.  At this point she seems to care more about hubby getting less time w/child..even to extent of offering no cs..and her proposed Co's state she would have no geographic restriction. 

Proposed co's state "Neither party is obligatory to pay child support. Both parties are to equally provide for child's needs". We cover all now,  including Health insurance.  How would one determine how to equally provide? We would pay CS but does anyone have ideas of how child's needs could be spelled out?? Not speaking of medical or just while child is w/ each parent. Looking for an example..maybe a guideline list, as we find the above proposal too vague.

We knew, long ago, that the only way it would work out for the child to be allowed peace living w/us would be a)the mother have supervised; or b) the child be well into his teens. Our bad..but no regrets..We know this past year has been the only opportunity the child has had to realize he can have love and affection for both his parents, sets of grandparents, & sets of families, at the same time,w/out being made to feel a disloyalty..

We did the every other week (and paid cs) til mother said no more. That is when child began asking to live w/ father. Hubby asked to continue 50/50 before seeking primary. That's the prob. Mother wants hubby to have child as little as possible. To the extent of offering no cs to get it.

Hard choices.. Hubby had child in therapy for 3 yrs. We're dealing w/ an alienator whom has caused the child learned behaviors, mental, & emotional detriment. 5 changes of schools along w/other changes of teachers. She put the child in her churches new non accredited school (20 kids total). The child had countless school referalls for a # of yrs & had to be held back the year prior to our having 50/50 & then primary. & yes hubby held joint legal for all yrs (no marriage). She's above co's.

He's thrived @ school the past year. Advanced classes, quaterback for jr high football (hubby coached him a # of Years after finally being able to by co). Mother had a rule 11 filed this past yr - requested she have less time w/ child..no weekdays so no HW & not to have possession of child on any day child has activity.

Any takers for advice?

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