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Messages - Disgustedstepmom

Pages: 12 3
so all I can really do is sit back, wait for them to push him away again, and be there to catch him? I am willing to do that its just that this poor soft hearted boy has gone through so much bc of BF, and BM. We will see how things go I guess.

This poor child has been sent to live with his aunt before because BM "couldnt handle him anymore". This has nothing to do with financial gain. This boy needs someone who is there for him unconditionally. Someone who doesnt throw him out every chance they get, and someone who can keep their hands to themselves. He needs protected and shown what a real family does for each other. He has been passed around from household to household because no one wants to take the time to understand him. He is very confused and hurt by everyone who is suppose to NOT hurt him.

Custody Issues / Question about living arrangements with stepson
« on: Apr 03, 2013, 04:39:14 PM »
I am currently married to BF, and 16 year old step son lives with us (3rd time now) after his BM kicked him out and said she never wanted to see him again. BM has legal custody. Unfortunately  I am planning on divorcing BF. My step son states that he wants to live with me, not BM or BF. Son talked to his BM and she doesnt care where he goes as long as it is what he wants. We reside in Illinois and I was wondering if I need the BM to sign a guardianship paper or how to legally proceed so that stepson resides with me. BF and I have been married for 2 years but have been together 9.

Illinois State Forum / How to obtain copy of ILCS 5/602.1
« on: Apr 23, 2012, 01:30:47 PM »
How do I obtain a copy of the Illinois Statute for Medical/School records ILCS 5/602.1?

Illinois State Forum / Concerned for child
« on: Apr 12, 2012, 01:16:17 PM »
Does anyone know if an Adult Sex Offender can live with another person's kids? We are very concerned about daughter's well being but what to have as much information as possible before we start accusing.

Visitation Issues / Re: Same old Visitation Denial
« on: Mar 18, 2012, 09:55:49 PM »
I agree with everyones posts. All good points. If this were one of my biological children that I had rights to, I would fight back tooth and nail. I wouldn't let it go for weeks at a time while I was doing nothing. All my husband said to me after he found out he wasn't getting visitation again was that we would save back the $60 it takes to go back to court if she did it again. That's fine with me, but actually DO something at these court dates. His visitation is only every other weekend. No holidays, no summer vacation. He doesnt request access to medical and school records. He doesnt even know the name of the doctor. I don't know if he has ever asked. I guess he is satisfied only getting to be "dad" 16 hours every two weeks. Yeah we just got overnites to start the weekend after easter, but I don't see her allowing that either.

Visitation Issues / Re: Same old Visitation Denial
« on: Mar 16, 2012, 05:47:49 PM »
Sorry, in other words, no visitation this weekend. Husband requested a doctor's note saying she is unable to come due to drastic illness but that's not happening either.

Visitation Issues / Re: Same old Visitation Denial
« on: Mar 16, 2012, 05:46:34 PM »
Well, husband got a text on Tuesday saying child is sick with flu and bronchitis again. No school for the week. That puts abscences up to almost 40. BM put a post on a particular website on Tuesday stating she took her to doc and he said it was just a cold, no meds. So today, husband gets another text stating she is still running a fever (5 days running) so she isn't coming this weekend. Husband told her he would be there tomorrow with a thermometer and if she didn't have a fever, he was having his visitation. She replied "Don't worry, I am seeking legal advice about this."
I am just done. I can't be involved with all this anymore. I know that all this upsets my husband, but in my eyes, he isn't doing what needs to be done. No phone calls being made, etc. Fed up with it all. I am giving up hope.

Visitation Issues / Re: Same old Visitation Denial
« on: Mar 14, 2012, 11:23:13 PM »
Lost Child, I do feel consumed sometimes. I have recently decided to put up a 'brick wall' and try to keep to myself when it comes to her. I want to make a dozen phone calls, emails and so forth. I haven't done any of this because if my husband wants to do something about it, he can do it. I too feel like I am the only one that cares. I do understand my husband's point though. He told me at one time that he has not had the chance to really connect with this child. And in truth, he hasn't. None of his family know her. They know her name. BM doesn't want me involved with the child whatsoever. Doesn't even want me to get the child a drink if she asks. Her dad is suppose to do it. I would much rather my children have a step mom that loves them and would do anything for them instead of a 'wicked' stepmom. But I guess she see's differently.
Isn't it sad that so many dads in this world have to deal with this everyday? They always say "It takes two." Of course, until the father tries to actually help RAISE the child then they are shunned. I wish the best for you and your wife.

Visitation Issues / Re: Same old Visitation Denial
« on: Mar 08, 2012, 02:35:24 PM »
Went to the school before court on Tuesday. There is no attendance policy for grade schools in our district. The absence toll is now 33 that we know of. Nobody seems to care I guess. Court went ok I guess. BF got overnites, but BM stated that child has a severe ear infection so she wants to wait until it gets 'warmer' to start the overnights. Judge said ok so BF doesnt get overnights till the weekend after Easter. It upsets me because you can't tell me that the child will not go anywhere else in the next month. I don't see why having her overnite on every other weekend would cause any effect on ear infections, and what about next winter? Is she expected not to come because it's 'cold outside?' I just don't understand and am at the end of my rope. It is time for me to step away and whatever my husband has to deal with, he has to deal with. I seem to be the only one who wants what is good for the child.

He also asked what it would take to get ex-husband off the birth certificate and get his put on. He has to contact him and see if he will sign a denial of paternity first then take it to court. More drama and bs. I don't know, maybe I am looking at this wrong.

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