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Messages - Timeisprecious

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1
Shrink Rap / Re: Borderline Personality Disorder
« on: Jan 31, 2012, 10:47:19 AM »
BPD - I've been studying it on my own for at leat six years, been married to one for 26 years and have had five children with her. She filed for divorce charging me with 26 years of emotional abuse! Reverse projectionism at its best! I think I understand it better than most. - Quick wisdom: You have to think beyond their words. Their ulterior motive (not even known to them) is that they have an immense and urgent need for "validation of self". They will demand it from you and/or suck it out of thier children. Setting up boundries against them to manage their behavior intensifies their anxieties. The will escalate the fight without limit in order to get it (self validation) because they are desperate. Other psychological problems arrise as secondary effects and can mask the root-cause disorder - BPD. Their behavior appears to be so illogical but yet it is amazingly so predictable! That means there is a "different logic" at work. I call it "emotional problem solving" and it works because it gives immediate gratification to the ulterior motive I mentioned above. You could also call it emotional terrorism if you dare. Bottom line for now: Understand that "to think beyond their words" gives you better insight as to what they are really attacking you for. The fights usually have nothing to do with what they are saying it is about.

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General Issues / PA Divorce insight?
« on: Oct 02, 2011, 10:19:26 AM »
We are all busy. I keep things short, simple, and to-the-point.

25 years of turmoil, I did nothing wrong. She filed Nov 2009, I moved out May 2010 and it is time to get it over with. 5 Children, 2 are under 18.

I've know Borderline Personality Disorder and General Divorce topics well. A book called "Splitting" is an amazing guidebook on divorcing a maniac and Administrators here should consider listing it as a resource.

My focus is PA Divorce (especially in Monroe County). I'd like to learn what you know. I have a very good attorney now but I want someone I can talk to for free ($!).

Sincere thanks in advance.

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