Messages

First of all thank you so much Ocean for taking the time to respond and give me some insight on what to do and expect. I sincerly appreciate it.

She refuses to text me and only will respond by phone call, which I'm pretty sure she knows not to say anything in writing. So if she will only call or answer me with a call, how do I get anything in writing?

The 14 year old wants to visit but when she shows any interest in coming with me the mom gets mad at her and yells at her for it. She doesnt know what to do, which angers me because she is a child and regardless of what goes on between me and her the children shouldnt have to suffer or choose sides. She (my 14yr old) does have a cell phone and facebook. Which I call her on the phone every morning/evening and speak to her and my son.

The thing that worries me is that for a majority of their lives I was in the household but the mom always dealt with school and doctors visits as she only works part-time and I worked two jobs. I'm afraid that is going to hurt me since I wasnt "involved".

I havent hired a lawyer because I am short on money. Is it a necessity to have a lawyer? I have already filed the paperwork with the courts and a GAL has been appointed. I just haven't met with her yet.

I honestly hate that it has came down to this but I just want to be able to spend time with my kids and be a father. I want joint custody where I have my time and she has hers. I dont want to take them from her, but I also dont want to make plans with my children and then the day before or day of she refuses to let me get them or see them. And my son is 6, he doesnt understand and wants to be with me all the time. It's heartbreaking to tell him what I have planned and then she comes back and changes it!

Hi,

I need some help/advice in a custody case. My girlfriend of 15 years and I split up for good last year. We have a 14 year old daughter and a 6 year old son together.
Just some background info.. we split up about 4 years ago and she had went and filed for child support. After a few months we had gotten back together and we were living together and I was paying her for the bills and stuff. I kept two jobs and paid all the bills. When we had gotten back together she had claimed that she was going to go to the child support office and tell them that we were back together and splitting the bills. However, I did not check to ensure she did this. (STUPID ME) well everything was fine until we started having problems again and split up for good. At this point I was paying her in cash so she could pay the bills and everything. None of the bills were in my name. At the time we broke up she went back to the child support office and claimed that I was not paying chiuld support and hadn't been paying for the past 2 years. She claimed I wasnt living with her nor was I paying her anything. With no paper trail or record or bills in my name, I couldnt prove that I was. So I went to jail for 5 months for back child support. Upon getting out of jail I went down to the child support office and had them directly take it out of my checks so there was a record of payment. We had verbally agreed that I would get to see my kids every other weekend and days/evenings when I wasnt working. This lasted for oh about one weekend, then she started getting nasty and we'd have a agreed upon time and she'd call and change it or say I couldnt have them with no real reasoning behind it. She tells everyone that I am an absentee father and dont do anything for my kids when in reality she wont let me see them and rarely returns my phone calls.

At a loss, I went to the court system in Virginia to file for joint custody and to get a set schedule as to when I can see my kids. I've tried working out a agreeable situation with her and take the high road but she wont cooperate. What are my legal rights as a parent and what can I do to ensure I get to see my kids? I filed the paperwork and she has received a call from the GAL and is livid. Saying that now they are going to be investigating everything and refuses to let me see my kids at all in response to it. I have yet to hear anything from the GAL and I'm not sure what to expect or do... Can anyone shed some light/advice on my situation? I'm trying to stay on the high road becasue I dont want to subject my kids to anymore arguing/turmoil, but my patience is wearing thin. As of right now we have no legal agreement between us in regards to them.

Thanks in advance!