Messages

1

Father's Issues / Re: new guy

« on: Nov 16, 2013, 10:51:24 PM »

Oh, the answer is probably 12 to 16 more driving hours a month that equals 150.00 or so gas bucks.  Part of me hopes she doesn't do the math, since she isn't working that expense for her is coming out of what I give her anyway.  Ultimately, I hope she figures out how to manage working sooner than later.  Wish me luck on that as well.

2

Father's Issues / Re: new guy

« on: Nov 16, 2013, 10:43:56 PM »

I like your sample note.  Some key points I'll certainly use, it seems easy enough I just hope she's receptive to it.  I know I should have done this long ago (stand up for what is fair) it would make a huge difference for me. Wish me luck everyone.

3

Father's Issues / Re: new guy

« on: Nov 16, 2013, 07:43:36 AM »

I appreciate your perspective and thoughts.  Hotel rooms have been the answer when the alternative was driving an additional 4+ hrs at least.  Getting less easy to justify that expense.  Any suggestions on how to bring the subject up to the ex in a smooth way?  I don't see it being received well.

4

Father's Issues / Re: new guy

« on: Nov 15, 2013, 11:10:16 PM »

South Carolina.  We were married, and all the girls were born, in Charleston.  We separated and she moved to Sumter with the girls.  That was about 2.5 to 3 hours away (from Charleston).  I moved to North Carolina to be closer to my mom, about 6 months later she filed for divorce, we had been officially separated for a full year.  Is there anything you know about NC or SC that might be helpful?

5

Father's Issues / Re: new guy

« on: Nov 15, 2013, 12:35:59 PM »

Thanks, up until now I've felt sort of stuck.  I think that working within the parameters of the state law in order to afford myself a little leeway will work better than trying to convince my ex that the situation is a little unfair. 
     I saw that there are forums within each state.  I'm going to try to post a few messages there, I'll talk with you all later.

6

Father's Issues / Re: new guy

« on: Nov 15, 2013, 05:48:13 AM »

Oh, I forgot, How exactly would I be 'credited for travel expenses'?

7

Father's Issues / Re: new guy

« on: Nov 15, 2013, 05:46:35 AM »

Thanks for replying.  I do have child support laid out by the court.  The details of visitation were not thoroughly examined during our divorce hearing, we did both agree that the girls would live with their mother and not be separated from one another.  Since she hadn't worked for awhile and I still had my job her moving in with her parents and keeping the kids made since while I worked.   Neither of us hired an attorney which sounds crazy, I know.  I've done my best to simply provide for them but it's getting to the point where I'm now starting to see that I'm allowing myself to get the short end of the stick.  I haven't pushed the mom to spend gas money to meet half way because I feel it is just taking $ away from what the girls might need.  I think my greatest concern has been the girls impression and perspective of the new situation.  I am glad they didn't leave the school they started, they live with mom, nana and grandad.  They see me often and, for the most part, they don't encounter us (my ex and I) argue in any way.  I'm just now starting to see how I've allowed the situation to cripple me financially, which, in the long run might do more harm than I imagined.  Some balance of financial responsibility would be nice, but she does take good care of our girls as a mother. 

8

Father's Issues / new guy

« on: Nov 14, 2013, 10:12:24 PM »

Hey everyone, I'm new here. I live in North Carolina about 4 hours away from my three daughters in South Carolina.  I visit them often ( at least 2 or three times a month ), as I'm typing this it makes me ill that I have allowed myself to believe that is often...although I'm sure some of you dads would be envious.  Anyhow, I'm struggling with a lot of things to consider.  Wanting to move closer, but have a good job which keeps me able to visit, insure them, buy them things they want/need.  Their mother doesn't work and hasn't for 3 years.  She relies on my child support and state assistance while living with her parents.  My job pays pretty good but opportunities closer to my girls are a lot more sparse.  I'd love to save money and perhaps go into business for myself, but find I'm living paycheck to paycheck after i spend money to travel to see the girls.  I often find myself helping my ex from time to time as well.  My girls range in age from 3 to 7.  I know I'm not even close to experiencing their financial needs and I worry about the next few years....trying to stay optimistic.    Please give me some ideas. thx