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I don't do credit cards.... security issues.  That's the problem with having exes....  I have found an alternative and will try to put it into play by the next Monday.

We have spoken with our attorney and she is pretty much in awe of the fact that DHS would not even lift a finger to investigate anything about this case.  Also, she stated that given the evidence that I did have in my possession (and there was more that I had in my files at home) that I have a very, very strong case. 

My son is in my care for a week and everything is being documented.  Everything from his behavioral patterns to his bedtimes and so on, so forth.  I am not leaving anything to supposition because the last time that I did, I got the shaft from DHS about it.

However, the one thing holding this entire resolution back is money.  $1500 of it, to be exact... and that's just the retainer.

Does anyone know how to come up with this kind of money because I've called in every favor that I could possibly think of, my credit is shot so bank loans are out of the question.... the story goes on.

It's just the last piece of the puzzle to put this all behind us, and it just happens to be the biggest one of all.

I have spoken with his therapist on several occasions but all they tell me is his updates and pretty much nothing about what his BM discusses.  They claim client confidentiality, which I kind of understand. As far as her wanting him back, I honestly don't know.  I've tried to get various agencies involved with this, aside of the courts because of the cost.... even a small fee right now is out of the question as we are dead broke.  As I have stated previously, I am trying to get him released to my care as I have a more stable environment and better resources than BM.

I have spoken with his therapist at the facility and she tells me that they are only going to be able to take him for the duration of 1 week because he shows no signs of self-harm or harm to others, which his BM stated otherwise.  I was in a phone conference with the BM and the therapist and after that, the therapist and I agreed on quite a few things.  The inconsistencies of her reports, being the biggest one... no indication of lashing out or violent behavior, nor is there any indication of him actually understanding what is going on.  His perception of this whole ordeal varies greatly from time to time... indicative of a lack of structure in both learning and home environment.  I have to go back up to the facility today to bring him clothes because the BM didn't even consider bringing them.

I did get to see him, albeit very briefly (15 MINUTES) but what a cherished time.  When asked questions about how he was, he was initially very hesitant to answer but when kind of prodded for answers, he opened up but wouldn't divulge details.... then again, he's 5 and this is a wholly chaotic time.

I have contacted an attorney but will not be able to meet with her until 21Oct2014 and was given a quote of $1500 to retain her services.  She is a very highly regarded attorney that specializes in children rights and family law.  Problem is that amount of money is a hard pill to swallow with all of the child support that I am paying with the other two children.  I've asked legal aid for assistance and they claim that I make too much for them to be of even a referral. So, the only way that I could even come up that kind of money is a gofundme project with all proceeds going to legal fees and process and nothing else. 

I tried to get DHS to get involved but they said that they wouldn't get involved because there was no complaint of child neglect or abandonment through the state police.  I called the state police child neglect and abust hotline and after a few heated moments, they decided that they wouldn't do anything except make note in the file that I had filed a report. This fiasco has been going on for over 2 years and I've even filing in forma pauperis to the courts for custody and they claim that I make too much (8.50/hr) and that I need to get a lawyer and have the correct forms filed through the local courts properly.

I am at my wits end with all of the runaround that I'm getting from the state because this is a "mother's first" state and my child is getting the brunt end of this.  And to think that this whole charade started because I wouldn't buy her a car, a computer, and a phone when I got the settlement from my wreck.

We all live in the state of Arkansas, but she has stated several times through voice, text, and print that she is liable to move at any given time.  As far as where she lives... who knows?  She's been very evasive with information, while I have been very cooperative and forthcoming.

Status update... DHS told me to call the child abuse hotline through the Arkansas State Police.  They advised me that, while they understand the frustrations (I don't believe that they do), they will only do nothing but file that I have made a report and they will do nothing to further the investigation at this point.

I am meeting with his therapist today and from the discussion that we had, albeit briefly, she seemed surprised that I was getting involved with this because of the sworn given statements from his mother.  Well, of course I going to get involved... he's my son and he's done nothing to deserve any of this.

My son, who is almost 6 years old, has been basically abandoned by his biological mother into a mental facility in Arkansas because she claims that "he is overly aggressive, bites himself,..." and a whole list of other things.  This admission into a facility strikes me as a major shift in her abilities as a custodial parent and her ability to deal with raising children.  She also has a infant daughter, newborn and age unknown, that she claims that my son struck her and this is why he is being admitted.

This is not the first go around that I have had with her concerning our son.  She keeps calling and claiming that I need to pick him up, but then she complains that I have my family (my fiance and I and our children) and he can't be anywhere around them.  She threw a huge conniption fit when she found out, through me being very forthcoming, that I took him to Missouri so we could go get his step brother from HIS father.  At no time was my child in danger, he has been well behaved (as well as a 5 year old could possibly be) and never aggressive to siblings or step siblings.

I'm trying to get emergency custody of him because of very alarming signs coming from his mother and her status.  My son is "borderline autistic", with diagnostic impressions of Hyperkinetic Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder, and a few others. I have a 7 year old step son with my fiancee who has a list of confirmed disorders and I've never had an issue with anything, so I know what the signs are and how to deal with them. Along with these diagnoses, she went against the recommendations of the doctors and went ahead of her own free will and admitted him with "anger issues." I swore to myself that I would never allow this to happen to any of my children while they were and are in my care, but as soon as she got him back from me, she admitted him. She's even gone to the point of telling the clinical psychologist that "he doesn't ask about his father, father doesn't want son..." and various inconsistencies. She's never had a stable place to live since we left each other. 

The problem with this is the paper work that I have been willfully given to me by the mother is full of lies and rife with inaccuracies.  The burden of proof of these allegations, I know, lies with me but the history of her hiding the truth and concealing facts cannot be ignored just for the sake of making a better life for just one individual. 

The reason why I am asking for help is because it is my firm belief that she is abandoning him so she can live her life while collecting my sons SSI and child support from me, while I am powerless to do anything about it.

What can be done?  I'm fighting a losing battle because of all the lies and hiding of facts that she's done.  And she knows that I cannot afford a family lawyer because of the child support that I'm paying.  Yes, I work.... I work constantly to provide a safe environment for my family. I pay my bills, I don't move, I have a stable home.  These are the exact things that this child needs. He doesn't deserve to be discarded like a piece of trash because it's convenient. I just want to bring him home and show him that he's not going to be thrown away because things are difficult.  No child should ever feel like that.

Please help.... not just for me as the father, but for the one who feels helpless, the one who doesn't understand that this is not his fault.  He's done nothing wrong and most certainly done nothing to deserve something as cold and as callous as this.

The one stigma that I truly hate is stated here.  Fathers, in general, are not lazy or inept.  I do know that the other party usually is hounding around, trying to get more money that can be used, not for the child's welfare, but for their own personal gain.  I have seen (and continue to see) both sides of the story and personally it makes me ill just reading all of the horror stories about fathers who literally work themselves to death trying to provide for the child of a mother who just absolutely refuses (or is unable) to be employed, through one fault or another.  As a father of 4, I pay child support for 3 children and have a wonderful family with my 4th.  I work two jobs just to make ends barely meet, don't buy anything new, struggle daily to get ahead, and have to hear on a constant basis from the other parents (custodial and non alike) about how bad it is that the other one isn't working hard enough.  My problem with that is what is all this in-fighting doing to the mental and physical state of the child?  From my standpoint, I will not engage in combat with the other parent in any form, unless it is documented and shown to the child upon the age of reason.  This way, when the child is old enough to understand, they are better informed about the arguments, the struggles, and has a better grasp on the situation in general.  I have yet to find a happy ending where everything just turns up roses because the father is out pounding rocks and he's just whistling away sweet dixie while the mother is doing whatever. 

In the end, it's not the parents who get hurt in all this nonsense, it's the child.  This is, and always will be, about them.  Let's do something to help them, not destroy them

*steps off soapbox and exits stage left

Thank you for the prompt response. 

This looks like something that I will have to take up quickly because of mitigating circumstances.

Ok...

First of all, thank you for helping.  I would like to address that BM13 and BM5 only have support orders right now, but from what the discussion is that BM5 is going after custody.  BM13 lives in another state (Ohio) and BM5 lives here in Arkansas. 

Secondly, the financial strain of all of this has taken a rather large toll on my children and I as it causes fights with DD13 and BM13 and I ultimately end up hearing it in the end.

BM5 continues to be evasive about visitation and communication, stating that "when I have the time..." and various other excuses.  She temporarily changed her tune when she found out that all communication (back and forth) was being recorded. 

I currently do not have the necessary funding for a lengthy fight in the court systems as this is a "mother's first state" and heavily favor's the mother regardless of the environment.

I just really don't know what to do.

I know that I am new to this forum, but to tell you the honest to goodness truth... I'm banging my head up against the proverbial wall.

One of my children's mothers (1 of 2) has decided to alienate our daughter, who is 13 years old by telling her that I will not ever get to talk to her because my child support is delinquent and I'm not sending enough.

The other one, who lives in the same state as I do, will not let me see my son (who is 5 years old) and demands that I tell her where I live, where I work, and other sensitive details and will not give any information in return.

I'm only working a part time job because it's the only thing that I can currently find and that's not for the fact of looking and applying.  I have the child support money taken from my check (I arranged it that way to make sure that it was taken care of before anything else happened), and yet to them it isn't enough.

My questions are this...
1.) Can a NCP be cut off from the child of a CP even if they are delinquent in their support order?
2.) What legal resources are available to the father of the child if are unable to pay the fees for filing court documents and orders?
3.) What is the best course of action available for a NCP to make sure that the CP doesn't leave the state, or have the child around immoral or dangerous situations outside of the NCP's home? (drugs, gangs, etc.)

I only ask this because, since I have had issues for the past 13 years concerning my daughter and her mother was the one who decided that she didn't want to face DHS in my area and left the area to move back in with her mother in another state. Another reason is that I have been looking around and I cannot find any agency that will  help because of my low-income status and the fact that both of my children are in the custody of their mothers. 

There are other mitigating factors associated with this, but at this time all I am looking for is either a point in the right direction or a direct answer.  I'm getting frustrated because I keep getting the proverbial carrot of communicating or seeing my kids dangled in front of me if I cooperate, only to have it completely destroyed when something completely out of my control happens and it hurts the kids more than it does me.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.