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Soc, (or anybody)

1. Which state would be more divorce "friendly" for me NJ or NY??

Mainly interested in which state is most likely to make me pay alimony. It's only been a 14 month marriage. No joint accounts, no property to whack-up etc.

2. Daughter is living with Mom as we know, do I have any chance of getting child tax exemption or do I have to ask her to give it to me??


Soc, don't throw a tantrum about NJ again, I'm just mulling my options. I know I said I was done in NJ, but it won't hurt to know my options. NJ lawyer is on vacation so he's unavailable for comment.

TPK

What a day I had.

Hearing started at 10:15 and my lawyer filed motions to dismiss based on venue and service. Judge was shocked I was even there.

She agreed on the venue and told my lawyer not to bother filing motions for that, she's sending it back to Ulster County.

Judge was MORE concerned about why I hadn't seen my daughter.

"Why hasn't this man seen his daughter in 4 months?? she said

Wife's lawyer stated that they had proposed visitation at wife's house and we rejected it. Lawyer also misreprensented the facts on the OOP hearing stating it as dismissed due to lack of jurisdiction. One of my lawyers jumps right up and informs Judge wife "withdrew" the OOP complaint because Judge in that case was gonna give me weekend visitations.

Wife's lawyer disagrees with that and says "we'll have to get the court transcript for that hearing"

We PULL OUT that court transcript and hand it to Judge. Wife's lawyer was shocked we had it. Judge reads it.

"There's NO reason this man needs supervised visitations"

Judge was getting pretty loud at this point, all of it towards wife & her lawyer.

My wife starts shooting her mouth about the baby having seperation anxiety if Mom isn't around.

Judge doesn't care.

This man will see his child TODAY she says.

Wife was ordered to bring child to her brother's house at 12:30 today and then leave. She was to come back and pick her up at 3:30.

I walk in and there's my 8 month old Rachael!!!!

She is adorable!

I was overjoyed to say the least, it was like a 10 ton monkey finally jumped off my back.

I also have her Sundays from 9:30 to 5pm in NJ!! and every Tues & Thurs from 4pm-8pm.

She'll have to get to know me again after 4 months, but that will come

We still have legal issues in NY, but I'm done with NJ....Period!

I used the Pa. attorney from the OOP hearing and a NY lawyer for this. Soc, the NY lawyer was GOOD, I was very happy with him.

More importantly, the Judge was even better, she was LIVID with my opponents.

So Xmas came early and I'm happy once again after fighting for 4 long months.

My NY lawyer is considering filing an eithics complaint on wife's lawyer for venue shopping and misrepresentations to the Judge. He's been practicing for over 30 years and told me he never filed a complaint on another lawyer before, but is considering it now.

We took so many pictures of Rachael today, I just wish I could post one here for all to see!!!

Happy Holidays to Soc and Everyone!


TPK

Looking at Martindale website today and lawyer ratings.

A CV Rating is an excellent first Rating and a statement of a lawyer's above average ability and very high ethics.
A BV Rating is an indication of an exemplary reputation and well-established practice. A typical lawyer is in mid-career, with a significant client base and high professional standing.
An AV Rating shows that a lawyer has reached the height of professional excellence. He or she has usually practiced law for many years, and is recognized for the highest levels of skill and integrity.

Does this rating actually mean anything?

TPK

Just a few more questions and I'll give you a break for a few days Soc.

Worst case scenario is she gets temp custody and I get visitation (in NJ).  

1. Is it realistic at all to expect to have my daughter for the Xmas holiday for visitation??

2. Instead of ~every other weekend~ visitation for me, is there anything called "make-up time" that I could be rewarded with?...or ask for??....say every weekend for awhile and then every other??

3. What are the percentages judge will award me counsel fees & costs??


Thank You.

TPK

My tale of woe involving wife & 9 month old child can be found over in Soc's board, too long to rehash here.


A real bugaboo between wife & I are the child vaccinations.

I want daughter to get them, wife doesn't.

Wife's refusal has nothing to do with Religion etc.

Wife does not rely upon medical professionals for advice on this matter. In fact, wife has taken child for well checks only 2 times since birth.

Seems that wife read about the MMR-Autism research and believed it. For those who don't know about this MMR study, a UK research team found a supposed link between MMR & Autism. Study was published but later retracted so now this issue appears dead. It did however, scare a lot of parents, and preyed upon the fears of these parents.

I believe the vaccinations are SO vital to the child's health that I would never imagine not having her vaccinated. Yes there can be adverse reactions to vaccines, but they are few and far between and the risk of NOT vaccinating is greater than the risk of vaccinating. My opinion was formed by meeting with pediatricians and asking them questions about all this. I have yet to find a pediatrician who is against vaccinations.

Being that this is a child related forum, I felt this was an excellent chance to get opinions from forum members about this.


1. Please give me your general opinions on vaccinations...Pro & Con.

2. Anybody not vaccinating and for what reasons??

3. Anybody's child have a bad reaction to a shot and what was it??..and what was the outcome??

4. Anybody have to go thru court to get a child vaccinated?

5. Anybody that did go thru court and got an order to not vaccinate I'd love to hear from.....and why court ordered it.


I intend to battle this issue in court, and hope to win. Any past experiences with this issue in court with any forum member will help me.


None of my friends or family members ever resisted getting a child vaccinated. I have asked for opinions from all of them, none suggested not having child vaccinated.

My daughter is already way behind in these vaccinations. I can't imagine what I'd do if child somehow died or became permanently ill from not getting vaccines. Not to mention what I'd do to wife if this happened as well!

Insights???

Cheers!

TPK

I'm in NJ, my wife has defacto custody in NY right now. We live only 1-1/2 hours away from each other. Right now I'm doing all the transportation for my weekend parenting time, and also driving to NY on non-weekend visits.

We are separated right now, visitation has been ordered by NY judge. This is only temp. til a divorce is finalized.

I think transportation should be 50/50, my wife disagrees with that.

I'd like to hear from people who live at least 2 hours apart from a NCP or CP and what was court ordered as far as transportation responsibilities.

I find it hard to think I'm out-of-line requesting 50/50 on the transportation.


Any insights??


TPK

For those of you that are familiar with my saga, I am still fighting to have my daughter vaccinated. Ex-wife is refusing still, I'm taking this one to court.

Question for anybody who knows.

Are vitamins with flouride something that have to be prescribed by Dr. or can you buy them over the counter?

Reason I ask is last time I went with ex & daughter to Dr., he asked if wife was giving daughter the vitamins. Wife hesitated and said yes, but I'm suspicious about it cuz that Dr. never prescribed them and that's the only Dr. daughter has seen.

I've asked a lot of people this question, seems like nobody knows the answer.

Thanks

TPK

I'm sure many other members have gone thru this as well.

When I return my daughter after the EOW visits, I always dress her up real nice. Now, mind you that I have a TON of clothes for my daughter. I inherited my niece's wardrobe which consists of designer clothing like Donna Karan, Ralph Lauren to name a few. So, it's all been given to me for free. My sister-in-law insists on buying only the best for niece (and nephew)

Seems that the last few times I returned child in MY clothes, wife doesn't give back the outfit next time I get daughter. It might seem petty but I'm paying CS and I believe that money should go to buying clothes. I feel like I'm the Salvation Army or something.


To combat this problem, I have started returning daughter in the clothes that wife sent her in. I wash them so she's not going back in any dirty laundry. I started doing this today and wife noticed it. I kindly asked for a few outfits back and she says "oh, I forgot"

Am I being petty or did I handle this correctly??


Cheers


TPK

For those who don't know my situation, here's a quick overview.

Going thru a divorce right now, have a daughter who is 15 months old. Mom has custody right now. I'm in NJ, she's in NY, NY has jurisdiction over the divorce, CS etc.

I always travel up to NY when it's time for a Dr. visit for our daughter. I want to make sure she is progressing as she should be.

Wife still won't vaccinate daughter, this has caused quite a disagreement between wife & I. I want the vaccinations, she doesn't, her reasons are very weak. This has nothing to do with religious beliefs.

I went to NY today for a Dr visit. My wife answers most of the questions the doctor asks as she has daughter much more than I do. I do ask my own questions as well when needed.

Dr asked wife if she was giving daugter vitamins with flouride (not sure if I spelled that right). Anyway, after some hesitation wife said yes (I suspect she isn't). Tonite after speaking to someone else about this they informed me they thought that vitamins w/flouride was something that had to be prescribed.

I know wife doesn't have health insurance on herself,  I dropped wife awhile back as my coverage is only in NJ. Daughter is covered in NY under some state run health care program. Daughter only sees this one pediatrician and I know she hasn't gotten any prescriptions from him.

1. Are vitamins w/flouride something that has to be prescribed or can this be bought without a prescription?

Excuse my ignorance on this, but I'd like to educate myself so I can get them for daughter if wife isn't giving them to her.


Thanks in advance.

TPK

I figured he'd be found innocent of all charges. I'm not sure if he got off because he's got money or a fancy lawyer or if the mother & kid were just gold digging liars.

Just proves that if you're a celebrity and have money that most times that's enough to be found innocent like OJ or Baretta (R. Blake) to name a few. Yeah, I know Martha Stewart went to jail, but it was white collar crime. She lied anyway, she deserved some time in the clink.

I could care less wether Jackson was found guilty or innocent. If he's guilty of anything it's being a tad bit "weird".

I guess he doesn't have to worry about losing his kids now.


I have to think that if it was me or any other common person, that we'd be found guilty and have our children taken away from us in a heartbeat.


Just my 2 cents.


TPK

Anybody see the MSNBC REPORTS show last nite? (Sunday 11pm ET) It was titled "on the run" and was about a nasty custody dispute.

It centered around a Mom who alleged sexual abuse by the father on the daughter. There was never any evidence to suggest this, and never proven in court. Mom & Dad were in court 41 times in just a few years!

When the court decided to remove child to foster care the Mom took the daughter and left the country and has been "on the run" for the last 9 years.

Sad part is the child has Arnsperger's disease which I'm told is a form of autism. Seems daughter made up the sexual allegations with the help of mom. Judge who heard the case said it was the "worst case of PAS she's ever seen" on the bench.

It seemed like a very messy case, thank God my divorce hasn't gotten that bad.

Anybody else see this show??




TPK

no message, disregard