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I suggest posting this on the "dear Socrateaser" board in this forum.

How is it that you've gone thru $10K in legal fees but have yet to file an order to show cause and have the court issue a visitation schedule?

File for custody based on things like bottle rot and not taking child to dentist/doctor which would be signs of neglect. You can also contact Child Services and have them visit the mother and check over the child.

You should've never allowed her to move 8 hours away, not without putting up a fight in court.


Go ask Soc about all this.

http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=106


TPK

"Anyway, any advice? Any father's rights groups or lawyers that will fight for a father's rights with some passion and not just get their money and do nothing in court?"

I don't see why you need a father's rights group. You already have the upper hand at the moment. You have the kids, the house and a CS order is in place, you have a lawyer and she doesn't etc.

Take her to small claims court on the credit card debt issue. If you can prove the purchases were made by her and for her, perhaps you'll get a judgement against her. If she has no money to begin with, the judgement won't be worth the paper it's written on as you'll recoup nothing.

I'd love to be in your situation having the kids, most people here don't have custody and are fighting tooth & nail just to have some visitation.

Relax, you're in control right now. Don't give in to anything, treat it like a business deal.

Good Luck

TPK

For those of you that are familiar with my saga, I am still fighting to have my daughter vaccinated. Ex-wife is refusing still, I'm taking this one to court.

Question for anybody who knows.

Are vitamins with flouride something that have to be prescribed by Dr. or can you buy them over the counter?

Reason I ask is last time I went with ex & daughter to Dr., he asked if wife was giving daughter the vitamins. Wife hesitated and said yes, but I'm suspicious about it cuz that Dr. never prescribed them and that's the only Dr. daughter has seen.

I've asked a lot of people this question, seems like nobody knows the answer.

Thanks

TPK

"Does anybody know of a place that will do a dna test with a
baby tooth for a reasonable price"

How about the FBI lab in Quantico, Va?

Seriously, I doubt a DNA test can be had for cheap money...anywhere.

You can try LabCorp which is a nationally recognized corporation. I have used them to do my kidney stone analysis 3 TIMES!!...Ouch!

http://www.labcorp.com/paternity/

You can probably swab a glass that the child has used if you think swabbing the mouth will bring attention to you.


I have to politely disagree with Jilly on her comment about being stuck if your name is on the birth certificate. I have to believe a DNA/Paternity test that shows you're not the father would change everything. I can't see the court making you pay CS to a child that isn't yours, that just doesn't seem fair to me. It would reek of injustice and a Judge will know if he orders you to continue paying his decision will be appealed and certainly overturned.


I will agree with Jilly that if you've been the father to the child all along that the child would be heartbroken if you suddenly disappeared. You've got a very tough decision to make. If you feel you're not the father then you should do the testing pronto.


Sorry to disagree with you Jilly, us "Yankees" up here think a little different I guess ;-)


Cheers!


TPK

>They are your daughter's clothes. You got them for her. If she
>doesn't have "nice" clothing at her mother's house, or her
>mother sends her over to your home in ratty-tatty stuff, then
>who should be the one that provides nice clothing for her?
>You are her parent. You are SUPPOSED to provide clothing,
>shoes, school supplies, a roof over her head, food in her
>belly, etc. If her mother doesn't, then YOU are supposed to
>step up and help YOUR DAUGHTER in that area.


I never said the clothes wife sent daughter over in were (to quote you) "ratty tatty". Sure they're not Donna Karan, but they're also not ripped, dirty or unsightly.

I have "stepped up", I pay CS EVERY MONTH. I pay enough CS where I'm sure wife spends some on HERSELF too. Don't lecture me on "stepping up" please, that is laughable.






 Who do you think
>she's going to remember did that for her? She's going to
>remember that YOU were able to set aside your resentment of
>her mother and your feelings about material possessions and
>realize that it was HER well-being that you had in mind.

Sure, my daughter is 15 months old. I'm SURE she'll remember Daddy sported the Ralph Lauren and Mom bought at yard sales. My daughter has NO CONCEPT right now of what she's wearing....gimme a break.




>Is it petty? Yes. They are JUST CLOTHES, and they are HER
>CLOTHES. You got them for HER. How selfish is it that you
>would prevent her from wearing HER CLOTHES to her mother's
>home just because you don't want to share HER CLOTHING with
>her mother?

They are MY clothes for HER. If you met my ex, you might agree she deserves nothing. Any woman who takes a child and secrets themselves and daughter from dad for 4 MONTHS deserves nothing. Me selfish???... ha ha, that's a joke pal. The ex is the most selfish self centered miserable human being I've ever met (now you can slam me for marrying her)




>This web site is supposed to support WHAT'S IN THE BEST
>INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN. Is it in the best interest for your
>daughter that you make sure she wears the same clothing she
>came over to your home in because you don't want her wearing
>her "good" clothes over to her mother's home? Who are you
>really thinking of when you do things like that?

Doesn't sound
>like your daughter.

What does that mean? please clarify.

I don't mind sending her back in "good" clothes....just GIVE THEM BACK TO ME and don't "help yourself" to what ISN'T yours.



Please note that you are the only dissenting voice here. My daughter does in fact have nice clothes other than what Mom sends her over in. I know this from Dr. visits and other drop-ins during non-visitation times.


>Now, I'm going to patiently wait for the mud to fly. Thank you
>for allowing me to voice my opinion.

This is America, you can voice your opinion all you want. Just note that nobody else here seems to agree with you. You're alone in your own corner.


TPK

  I've even been known to hold an
>outfit from her Mom's house "hostage" until I get the stuff
>from our house back.  LOL  Petty...I know...but that's how it
>goes sometimes.


Ya know, I considered this approach myself. But...it seems wife doesn't send daughter in her "Sunday Best" so to speak.  I send her back in Donna Karan, and she gives daughter to me in "Kmart" clothes...LOL.



I have so many clothes for daughter that we change daughter's outfits up to 6 times a day! We know she'll never be able to wear it all, and will grow out of clothes very fast. It's almost like a fashion show at times!! LOL

Wife mentioned not long ago that she wanted our daughter's baby blanket which I have. I asked her "how does it feel to want??"....and then told her to "go pound some sand"


TPK

I'm sure many other members have gone thru this as well.

When I return my daughter after the EOW visits, I always dress her up real nice. Now, mind you that I have a TON of clothes for my daughter. I inherited my niece's wardrobe which consists of designer clothing like Donna Karan, Ralph Lauren to name a few. So, it's all been given to me for free. My sister-in-law insists on buying only the best for niece (and nephew)

Seems that the last few times I returned child in MY clothes, wife doesn't give back the outfit next time I get daughter. It might seem petty but I'm paying CS and I believe that money should go to buying clothes. I feel like I'm the Salvation Army or something.


To combat this problem, I have started returning daughter in the clothes that wife sent her in. I wash them so she's not going back in any dirty laundry. I started doing this today and wife noticed it. I kindly asked for a few outfits back and she says "oh, I forgot"

Am I being petty or did I handle this correctly??


Cheers


TPK

I am not an attorney, but can offer some advice for you.

A child of 14 probably can testify to which parent they want to live with. You didn't mention what state you're in, so you'll have to check the laws in your state as to what age would be considered for child to testify.

Secondly, you can mention to the court the frequent relocating habits your wife seems to have. This constant moving certainly is not providing a stable living environment for the child. Document the locations she's lived in the last few years, and make sure your ~proof~ will hold up in court.

The constant moving along with your 14 year old child's wishes to live with you just might be enough to get you a win. These 2 issues can fall under the "change of circumstances" the court requires to give you placement.

Have your child mention that Mom is not allowing her to have relationships with her friends as well.

I would think you have a good chance of winning. But....you never know what some moronic Judge will rule so don't take anything for granted.

Get an attorney if you already don't have one. Do NOT do this Pro Se.

I suggest posting this to Socrateaser on this board. Make sure you
follow his guidelines.

Read the below link first for his guidelines, then use the 2nd link to post your situation to him.

http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=106&topic_id=615&mode=full&page=



http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=106


Best of luck to you.


TPK

"Although we put the car in my name, it is property of my parents as they own it and I will be making car payments to them for the vehicle"

Actually, the car is your property and you own it as your name is on the title. It doesn't matter that your making payments to your parents, it's still titled in your name and thus is your property.

When my ex split, she took a car that was titled in my name. Although it was her car and she paid for it, I was liable for anything that happened ie an accident, accident resulting in injury or death etc.. I made sure I signed title over to her so I would be off the hook in case something happened. Sure enough, a month later she got into an accident. Now that the car is in her name, it's her problem.


Best of luck to you.


TPK

>They are working together in the caregiving. They are being
>parents, putting aside their differences. Loving the child
>enough to co-parent.


I guess miracles really do happen.

Kudos to them.

TPK