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Messages - TPK

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Father's Issues / RE: I can't understand you all
« on: Jul 13, 2005, 08:10:24 PM »
Sometimes I can't understand them either. I refer to this link which helps.



Father's Issues / RE: Doctor Visits and Question
« on: Jul 13, 2005, 08:06:13 PM »
>What does also concern me is that the child is not vaccinated.
> In order for your daughter to be enrolled in schools or in
>day cares she will HAVE to have her shots.  I work for the
>schooldistrict and on thefirst day of school the school nurse
>calls every child down to the office that is not current on
>their shots and they have to call their parents to get an
>appointment that day or be dismissed until they get their
>proper vaccinations in order to be in school.  Just something
>to think about.

This concerns me too. In NY, you can't even attend daycare as NY state health guidelines require a child to be up to date on the vaccinations. This is a battle that will most likely be decided by the court.

Interestingly, the Dr told me in private that NY doesn't require consent from BOTH parents to vaccinate a child. I hate to do anything behind her back, but this is something I have to think about.


Father's Issues / Doctor Visits and Question
« on: Jul 13, 2005, 07:25:38 PM »
For those who don't know my situation, here's a quick overview.

Going thru a divorce right now, have a daughter who is 15 months old. Mom has custody right now. I'm in NJ, she's in NY, NY has jurisdiction over the divorce, CS etc.

I always travel up to NY when it's time for a Dr. visit for our daughter. I want to make sure she is progressing as she should be.

Wife still won't vaccinate daughter, this has caused quite a disagreement between wife & I. I want the vaccinations, she doesn't, her reasons are very weak. This has nothing to do with religious beliefs.

I went to NY today for a Dr visit. My wife answers most of the questions the doctor asks as she has daughter much more than I do. I do ask my own questions as well when needed.

Dr asked wife if she was giving daugter vitamins with flouride (not sure if I spelled that right). Anyway, after some hesitation wife said yes (I suspect she isn't). Tonite after speaking to someone else about this they informed me they thought that vitamins w/flouride was something that had to be prescribed.

I know wife doesn't have health insurance on herself,  I dropped wife awhile back as my coverage is only in NJ. Daughter is covered in NY under some state run health care program. Daughter only sees this one pediatrician and I know she hasn't gotten any prescriptions from him.

1. Are vitamins w/flouride something that has to be prescribed or can this be bought without a prescription?

Excuse my ignorance on this, but I'd like to educate myself so I can get them for daughter if wife isn't giving them to her.

Thanks in advance.


Father's Issues / RE: Here is another good resource...
« on: Jul 07, 2005, 11:15:48 AM »
I get this fax at my office seemingly everyday now. I also get ones for vacations, stock alerts and health plans.

Very annoying.


Father's Issues / RE: CHILD ABDUCTION!?!......Probably Not
« on: Jul 02, 2005, 04:27:19 PM »
How can she be arrested if she's the CP?. I can't see the DA pressing criminal charges for child abduction while the child is in the CP's custody.

This sounds more like a contempt issue.

Even if she just picked up and relocated I don't believe it's child abduction.

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong.

Hang in there, best of luck to you.


Father's Issues / RE: Yes, you do have rights!
« on: Jun 14, 2005, 05:30:15 PM »
>I am fighting for jurisdiction. I filed for divorce and
>custody but not before she filed for separation in California.
>Her actions were premeditated and I was caught off guard.

How soon after she left did you file in Oregon? The "home state" statute though adopted by every state (I believe) is not a sure thing. Oregon can decline jurisdiction as being an "inconvienent forum" and California can claim a "significant connection" to their state. It's a crap shoot.
>I understand it can be a slow process but it seems everything
>happened so fast for her. My attorneys aren’t as motivated as
>I’d like them to be. I go from having my son everyday to not
>at all and it’s killing me.

It is a VERY slow process, trust me, I know what you're going through here, been down this road myself.

For good legal advice, you should post your story and questions to "Dear Socrateaser" on this board. He has helped many of us and seems to have a feel for what will happen in any situation.


Good luck.


Father's Issues / RE: Do I have rights? I miss my Son dearly.
« on: Jun 14, 2005, 12:36:20 PM »
If the child's home state was in Oregon, then you should've filed for custody in Oregon right after she left the state. You didn't mention wether you battled for jurisdiction. The home state is considered where the child resided for at least 6 consecutive months.

Now that it's approaching July, the child is nearing  6 months in California and you may lose jurisdiction to California. You might want to read up on the UCCJEA on the web to get more information.

I also have to question wether you wife was a resident of California long enough to even file for divorce/separation/custody etc.

You need to battle jurisdiction, or you'll be stuck traveling to the courts in Cali.

Good Luck


Father's Issues / OT- Michael Jackson.....Innocent
« on: Jun 13, 2005, 05:41:18 PM »
I figured he'd be found innocent of all charges. I'm not sure if he got off because he's got money or a fancy lawyer or if the mother & kid were just gold digging liars.

Just proves that if you're a celebrity and have money that most times that's enough to be found innocent like OJ or Baretta (R. Blake) to name a few. Yeah, I know Martha Stewart went to jail, but it was white collar crime. She lied anyway, she deserved some time in the clink.

I could care less wether Jackson was found guilty or innocent. If he's guilty of anything it's being a tad bit "weird".

I guess he doesn't have to worry about losing his kids now.

I have to think that if it was me or any other common person, that we'd be found guilty and have our children taken away from us in a heartbeat.

Just my 2 cents.


Father's Issues / Sounds too Familiar to me
« on: Jun 09, 2005, 06:34:45 PM »
I went thru this same situation with my x-wife and her not wanting my parents to see our child. It started the day she left the hospital (c-section) to come home. She didn't want any body over to see our child. At first I just thought she might be tired from the birth ordeal and needed time to heal. But days turned into weeks and she still wouldn't allow anybody over.

My parents were dying to see my daughter, they called every day. I finally had enough of the shenanigans and invited my parents over one night. My X had heard me talking to my mother on the phone and heard me invite them over for the next day. She went ballistic. She went into this rage and came after me! She was flailing about punching, kicking, scratching. It got loud enough for the neighbors to hear, and the cops showed up.

Needless to say this was the beginning of the end, and just a few months later she took off with our 4 month old and hid from me for months.

I too believe you're asking for too little. Ask for more than you want, and settle for less.  Try to get joint-legal or you'll never have any say in any important matter in your child's life. I wouldn't offer to pay her legal fees either.

Good luck to you.


Father's Issues / RE: Anxiety
« on: Jun 02, 2005, 10:01:24 PM »
Whenever I read my wife's pleadings it makes me sick. Her affidavit she filed in the motion for divorce didn't have a hint of truth in it.

I'm not a hateful person, and I'm generally easy to get along with. But....if my wife was on fire......I wouldn't piss on her.

Problem you & I (and many others) have is we have to deal with our child's mother for the rest of our lives.

My father once told me "people learn from their mistakes, but most times it's cheaper to learn from other people's mistakes" How right he was.

Hang in there, and be a good dad and I'm sure everything will work out just fine........it just takes time.


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