Messages

I have followed your saga on Soc's board and I'm happy you'll get to see your child.

I went 4 months without seeing my 1 year old. I still don't see her enough mainly due to a vindictive-swine ex-wife, we're battling in court still.

However, during this whole time I feel the opposite that you do. I have such anxiety that it's hard to even sleep. I run a small family business and find myself there for 12 hours or more a day just to keep my mind off my child and on something else.

Good luck to you, and keep up the fight!


TPK

Anybody see the MSNBC REPORTS show last nite? (Sunday 11pm ET) It was titled "on the run" and was about a nasty custody dispute.

It centered around a Mom who alleged sexual abuse by the father on the daughter. There was never any evidence to suggest this, and never proven in court. Mom & Dad were in court 41 times in just a few years!

When the court decided to remove child to foster care the Mom took the daughter and left the country and has been "on the run" for the last 9 years.

Sad part is the child has Arnsperger's disease which I'm told is a form of autism. Seems daughter made up the sexual allegations with the help of mom. Judge who heard the case said it was the "worst case of PAS she's ever seen" on the bench.

It seemed like a very messy case, thank God my divorce hasn't gotten that bad.

Anybody else see this show??




TPK

no message, disregard

>If she was good enough to have sex with why isn't she good
>enough for you to marry?


What a dumb statement that is.

The guy just wants to be a part of his child's life......sheesh.


I guess if we go by the above logic, we all should've married everyone we slept with.

Maybe he didn't marry her because she performed poorly in bed?

If you want "real" advice, I suggest you post this to Socrateaser on this board.

Here's a link

http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=106

Chris, don't be bitter towards me just because I don't agree with your views. If I listen to you and not pay my CS, can I count on you to come bail me outta jail??

When I get into arrears above my head, will you help me out??


Do I agree with paying obscene CS amounts...NO!

Why do we pay these amounts??.......because "that's the way it is" like it or not.

You can sit here and scream til the cows come home, or you can get yourself to Colorado and start the process.

You gotta help yourself here, don't rely on strangers for donations for a move out West.

I don't know how you've gotten yourself $15K in arrears, but if you're still not working SOMEWHERE you're not trying that hard now are you?


Like I said earlier, I sympathize with you and your situation, I'm not piling on here.


TPK

>YOu know while I live with my parents and barley have enough
>money to get by, my ex wife and daughter are living in a
>$500,000 home. My daughter wants for nothing, and my child
>support is WAY more then she needs to live comfortably off of.


You may be paying more CS than what your child needs, but everybody's situation is different.  What if your wife was living in a homeless shelter with your child?. What if your wife or another CP was just barely getting by? The CS laws for each state don't allow for examination of living conditions for EACH child/CP.

CS is not just for food, clothing, toys, medical bills etc. It's for paying bills for the overhead on a house/apartment etc.  Being that your wife lives in a $500K house her overhead might be high, thus you're paying for some of that.

We all know the CS is  not ALL used on the child, that's just the way it is. I've seen some postings in here about a Mom worried about not being able to make the mortgage payment if NCP doesn't pony-up the CS.

I think maybe an idea would be to have state laws that allow for an "accounting" of what the CS is used for. That would probably clutter out the courtrooms across the USA with NCPs filing contempt suits everywhere if the money isn't spent to the nickel on what CS is paid out.
>
>
>the thing you ALL have to understand about child support is
>that it does not effect the children as much as they want you
>to believe, but it DOES effect the states budget, especially
>if a group of people were BOLD enough to say " We are not
>going to pay this until we get equal rights with our kids!" Do
>you all think that ghandi or Martin Luther King Jr. didn't
>face some time in jail and persecution for what they did. What
>they did cost them their lives, but they made significant and
>amazing change. Thats what WE need to do, but until everyone
>realizes that, we are goign to go on getting screwed bythe
>system because they can, and we are jsut cattle for the
>slaughter..... forget that. I'M ONE MAD COW!


I have read your postings about your saga, and I have sympathy for you. I think you need to get yourself to Colorado PRONTO no matter what it takes. Get to Co. and then go from there, right the wrongs you believe have been done against you.

My wife kept our 4 month old away from me for 4 months. She was hiding and I did EVERYTHING I could to find them, spared no expense. My hard work paid off and I dragged her into court and got my parenting time and she got a tongue lashing by the judge.

Make it happen, no matter what it takes.

Best of luck to you.

TPK
>
>

I think I'd rather pay my CS than to sit in a jail cell. I'll never be called a "deadbeat", not in this lifetime.

If someone is whining about paying CS, then maybe you should not have had children.

The laws are what they are...unfair, but you gotta SUCK IT UP and pay.

.
>
>What also should be factored in is, who does the majority of
>driving? Who supplies Health Insurance?


I'm in NJ and seem to be doing ALL the driving right now to NY. It's a PITA and something that will be addressed in court soon. I'm also paying the healthcare bill of $700.00 per month. My wife & I communicate when the weather looks bad, and always setup some make-up time if I miss any visitation. Clothing is always returned to each other. I guess some people have it worse than me.


TPK

" It is a percentage of NCP's net
>income. Other states calculate at much higher amounts and even
>take new spouse's income into account"

Geez, net income is much better than the 17% of my GROSS income CS that I pay in NY. I have no problem paying CS, but sometimes it feels like spousal support too.

TPK

>After posting the above message I noticed that my post to SOC
>did not go thru so apparently he has blocked me from posting
>to him. What does this mean?

This probably means you have pissed off Soc beyond what he tolerates.

Forget right or wrong, help yourself and get a lawyer.


TPK