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Messages - TPK

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Dear Socrateaser / RE: Court Today...........Quite an Episode
« on: Oct 06, 2005, 06:02:16 AM »

I probably wasn't clear about what my attorney said about the courtroom scene. He was referrring to wife's bizarre behavior. I'm sure the theatrics of judges & attorneys is played out throughout the country and my case was a hardly a blip on the radar compared to other cases.

This might seem odd to you or others, but the legal system is very fascinating to me. If I could go back to my school days, I'd apply myself and become a lawyer.

I also will add that my understanding and knowing what to expect of family law no doubt gave me an advantage in court. My wife obviously knew nothing, never bothered to spend countless hours online researching and asking attorneys 100s of questions as I did. I even heard her ask her attorney what a deposition was (sigh).

By taking your advice into consideration, reading your replys to other members, and spending each day on Sparc and other sites gathering info, it made it so much easier to understand the system.

My advice to other members just starting what I went thru: do your homework, ask any question you have,  spend time researching family law, educate yourself to no end, and fight for your children no matter what the cost.

I'd like to give a big THANK YOU to you Soc, and to the other members who have chimed in at times.

You provide an invalueable service here Soc, your generosity to others is a reflection of what kind of person you are.

Jilly & Reagen, thanks for the sentiments as well. Jilly especially, even if you're not a Yankee :P


Dear Socrateaser / Court Today...........Quite an Episode
« on: Oct 05, 2005, 07:21:00 PM »

Pretty bizarre today.

I've always said since my very first post here that my wife is ill mentally somehow. I was never being spiteful saying it, I tried to talk to her before even the separation about getting help.  I don't know what illness she has, but her behavior in court (again) left jaws hanging.

I have told you in the past about how out of  control and weepy in court she is. She was crying at times today.

Trial was to be heard by Judge A. Court docket there was "overbooked" I guess,  and they moved us down the street to small bldg that was part of the Supreme Ct to have Judge B hear it. There's no courtroom there only chambers. I might mention that in the last month or so, 3 different judges heard this case. One judge did a conference, another did the pretrial last week, another did the case today. Only lawyers & judge conferenced in that bldg.

lawyers were trying to setttle on the issues of visitation, trans and vaccination.

I learned something today that should have probably been obvious to me yet never asked about it.  If you have 15 issues to be settled and only settle 14, you go to trial on all 15. This is what changed my strategy on the vaccines. Our visitation to them and trans plans  were agreed to. Me and my attorney opted to take the vaccine issue to the Family Court in the near future in order to settle the case now. We'll have a law guardian and case should be heard by OOP judge we were before and the vaccine issue was brought up there. We'll win there.

After 2 meetings in chambers, and some wheelin & dealin on both sides, we "appeared" to be ready to take it over to the courtroom with judge, get it on record and be done with it.

In courtroom judge had attorneys make statements. My attorney was making his and mentioned parties agreed to split summer (July-Aug)  4 weeks with no more than 1 consecutive for now.

Her attorney blurted out "we never agreed to that, we thought he was getting ONE week per summer (how generous eh?).  My attorney was stunned.  The judge was livid. He said "start the trial, call your first witness!". I was shocked, we were minutes away from this being over.

Her attorney got judge to take a 1 hour recess.

Come back an hour later and they agree to 4 weeks summer.

So, I'm thinking "this is done,  it's gonna be over"

Judge gets to the point when they make litigants swear-in and verbally say they agree to the settlement, asked if they had competent attorney etc. He gets to the point where he asks if wife realized she was waiving her right to trial and wife blurts out "what rights do I even have?" She started ranting about he me & her don't get along, she feels bad for our daughter. Judge started speaking when wife talked over him. Judge told her in a very harsh tone  "Don't you talk over me".

He said if she didn't like the settlement we 'd to trial right now. You could see he was losing patience. He lectured her a bit more and she then says "what if I don't agree to how he parents our child when she's with him?" "she's too young" etc etc

That was it. Judge said "20 minute recess, we're doing the trial, get your first witness ready"

Even her attorney was shaking her head, she was stunned

Here's someone who is getting custody, CS, joint legal, and that's not enough. She agreed to everything minutes earlier but her illness took over when given the chance to speak in court.

This is 5 hours into the day already.

My attorney was actually happy this happened. He said "we're going for custody today". He was foaming at the mouth to get wife on the stand. He said a combination of judge already seeing her behavior and him getting her on stand in her condition would heavily favor us.

Finally wife's attorney came back after a discussion with wife and probably told her to agree or maybe lose custody, they agreed on everything.

It was finally over.

My attorney told me he'd never seen such a bizarre scene in a courtroom and he's in his 60's.

I got exactly what I wanted. Got my 4 day 3 nite EOW visitation. Got her to have to handle 1/2 of trans, got my 4 weeks summer, Xmas this year, joint legal.

Due to my to relentless pursuit to have visitation extended, in the last year I went from Sat-Sun to Sat-Mon to Fri-Mon now.

I got Fri 6pm to Mon 6pm. I had proposed initially Fri 3pm to Mon 12 noon. They came back with 6pm to 6pm and I agreed cuz it actually got me more hours.

I've said for a year that I'd end up with custody due to wife's own self destruction. I like my chances of that in family court when a law guardian gets a load of her. We already ordered a transcript of today so we can get her bizarre behavior on paper and use it there.

I worry about her having custody, she has a hard time taking care of herself let alone an 18 month old.  

It's taken me a year to get divorced ( a 13 month marriage). Went thru 2 states, 6 different judges, 3 counties, , 3 attorneys........and $11K.

I just thought I'd share my day with you, as you've been on board for the ride.



Dear Socrateaser / Trial Tomorrow...Few Questions
« on: Oct 04, 2005, 12:27:16 PM »

Trial is tomorrow for divorce (finally) It's hard to believe this is actually going to trial for the smallest of issues (visitation & transportation) as everything else has been settled (mostly me relenting). At the pre-trial the judge hinted he didn't want to hear the case which wasn't good news for wife's attorney. He suggested settling the remaining issues but my opponent refused.

Update on vaccination issue. At pre-trial the judge said he was gonna order it and if wife didn't like it she could appeal. Judge told her she'd probaby lose on appeal.

Questions for you:

1. When CS is paid, is a portion of that supposed to go towards medical coverage??

Wife has daughter on some sort of state-run health insurance, and I haven't been asked to pay anything yet. I don't know what the costs are per month for the coverage in NY. This issue hasn't been brought up at all which kinda surprises me.

I can't have daughter on my NJ insurance cuz policy covers NJ "in-network" only. She resides in NY so I dropped her and wife from NJ policy. I dropped them 8 months after they left for NY and paid $500.00 more per month with them on my policy for that 8 months.


I'm doing all the trans right now, and I'm fed up with it (1 hour 45 minutes each way). The trans is not court ordered so to speak. I've laid out a halfway point and gave it to my attorney to show to Judge.

2. Generally, how is the responsiblility of transportation decided if not agreed upon by both parties?...factors?

I told my lawyer being that wife left marital residence (NJ) that she should be doing some if not all the trans. He didn't agree with me.

I hope you can answer my questions so it will help me in court tomorrow.



Dear Socrateaser / Thanks a lot Soc......(nm)
« on: Sep 26, 2005, 09:58:50 AM »

Dear Socrateaser / Question on Abandoned Property
« on: Sep 26, 2005, 08:01:00 AM »

This is business related dilemna.

Back in Jan of this year I sold a guy a machine. He drove to NJ from Michigan and removed all the tooling (tools designed to properly use it ie cut metal etc). He left the machine here, this is considered "partial" removal in my industry.

Guy tells me he'll be back to remove the machine "when it gets a little warmer". It certainly was beyond warm here this summer, and soon will get cold again.

I contacted him via phone more than a month ago stating equipment must be removed by end of Sept as we are relocating to Pa. and I didn't want to have to move it.

Tells me he'll arrange removal.

I never heard from him again. It's now approaching our relocating date.

Guy is handicapped, I'd feel a little lousy reselling this equipment, but business is business and this piece HAS to go.

1. Legally, did I give him proper notice to remove the machine by phone?

2. To avoid being sued should I send a certified letter stating exact date of when equipment must be removed?

I'm trying to cover my a$$ so this guy doesn't go legal on me. He did pay me in cash, transaction was in thousands of dollars ($3K) We normally don't invoice cash paying customers unless they demand one.



Dear Socrateaser / Laws on Rentals & Security Deposits
« on: Sep 16, 2005, 10:28:38 AM »
Good afternoon Soc.

Questions on laws pertaining to security deposits given to a landlord.

Currently renting a home in NJ, moving to Pa. in a month.

Been renting since early 2001 in at current residence.

Spoke to landlord yesterday about the security deposit I gave him (1-1/2 months $$ security) He is aware I'm leaving and has been aware for awhile, we get along well, he's a lousy landlord though (aren't they all?)

I told him to keep the security to pay for rent this month (sept) and next month (oct). I'm leaving mid month next month.

I asked him how much interest had the money made as he originally told me he was putting security in an interest bearing account.

Tells me he never did that, he said he just kept it at his home.

1. Wasn't there a law passed requiring security deposits to be put in interest bearing accounts??

2. Was the law nationwide??......I know it's a law in NJ.

3. If yes on the above, what year was the law passed?

I just want to be ready in case this gets ugly.



Dear Socrateaser / Why is NJ Awful Soc??
« on: Aug 26, 2005, 06:50:41 PM »
 "NJ is the most custodial parent friendly State in the nation,
in my opinion"

Having been a lifelong NJ resident (though moving to Pa. in a month) I have to ask how you come about determining that NJ is heavily CP friendly and NCP unkind??

As you know, all my legal issues are taking place in NY so I never got an education (maybe thankfully so) in the NJ Family Court system. I did have a few hearings in NJ when wife never showed, and the judge sat on his hands and gave me no remedy.

I remember when you replyed to my very first post here on Sparc and told me to take action in NY and run like hell from NJ. I never questioned you back then, but I'm curious as to your disdain with NJ.



Dear Socrateaser / CS Question
« on: Aug 26, 2005, 10:23:56 AM »
Good evening Soc.

I'm puzzled.

Received in mail today a letter from NJ Human Services CS dept. They want me to fill out some form stating weekly salary, yearly salary etc.

Right now there's only a temp. order in NY for CS. I pay direct to wife. All legal issues were dismissed by me  in NJ once I submitted to NY jurisdiction.

NJ has a case file on me regarding the CS here in NJ.

1. Why is NJ bothering me?

2. Once a temp order is issued in another state is it customary for the resident state of person paying to get involved?.

I'm not sure once trial is all said and done that I'll pay CS to wife or thru some agency in NY.

I don't have the NJ paperwork in front of me right now, I left it at work so if you need more info I can get it to you in the morning.

Thank you.


Dear Socrateaser / RE: Expert Testimony
« on: Aug 18, 2005, 07:01:23 AM »
"When you ask, he will send you a copy of his rate card for expert testimony. When you read it, you will understand why he won't refuse"

I'm guessing Doctors charge more per hour than attorneys do.

During one of the Dr visits with child (I was present) the Dr made wife sign a "refusal to vaccinate" form.

I know with HIPPA laws it's tough to get any medical info without consent.

I'd like to get ahold of that refusal document.

1. Would wife and I have to sign a waiver allowing medical records to be released?...or do I just have to sign?

Wife won't sign for sure, so I'm wondering how to get by this.

2. Is it common or uncommon for medical issues to be addressed in a divorce decree?...have you ever seen this??

For question #2 I'm referring medical issues other than special needs ie disability, some form of a handicap etc.

Thank you


Dear Socrateaser / Expert Testimony
« on: Aug 17, 2005, 03:16:24 PM »

Re Vaccination issue (again)

Oct 4th is our trial date. You had said previously that having child's Dr testify as expert testimony would be better than Dr going on the stand and just saying "mother has refused vaccines at my office for XX reasons"

1. What if I ask Dr to give expert testimony and he refuses thinking he's gonna lose child as a patient and thus lose money?

Wife will certainly change doctors (again) if this guy is on the stand agreeing with my stance on the vaccines, no doubt about it.

2. Better to just subpoena him?

3. If I slap a subpoena on him he HAS to appear correct?

If the trial is Oct 4th, how soon should I  subpoena him to give him notice to appear?

I ~might~ be able to get a Pediatrician who is a family friend to testify, but I'd rather not get them involved if I don't have to.

What say you sir?

Thank You


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