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Messages - Sunshine

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General Issues / RE: passport of child - advise
« on: Mar 17, 2005, 03:51:16 PM »
so my understanding then is, my Ex could contact the foreign embassy (where our son (under age 14) and I are citizens of) and tell them to put a note on our sons passport file? Would the embassy not be required to give this information to me as well.
I have to add we are residing in Canada, are citizens of a foreign country and do both not have a Canadian passport, we both hold a foreign passport.

>As of July 2, 2001, as provided by Public Law 106-113,
>Section 236, both parents are required to execute the passport
>application for a minor child under age 14.
>Information regarding the issuance of a passport to a minor is
>available to either parent, regardless of custody rights, as
>long as the requesting parents' rights have not been
>If a parent believes their child may be abducted
>internationally they need to immediatly contact the Office of
>Children's Issues and their local law enforcement office.
>As I recall, there is also a program to have "notes" put on
>passports to inform goverments that the child is a minor of a
>custody dispute. And their meaning of custody dispute does not
>mean an open court case. But I was lucky and had to go no
>further than not permitting the issuance of a passport.

General Issues / passport of child - advise
« on: Mar 17, 2005, 01:19:37 PM »
can my Ex  put a stop or note on our childs foreign passport which is in my possession? If so, is my signature not required as I am the one with legal custody and legal guardianship? Thanks for any advise.

Visitation Issues / RE: or:
« on: Dec 31, 2004, 03:50:15 PM »
This is not a party which starts at 8 pm, unfortunately my Ex's sister-in-law and her husband have a serious drinking problem and everybody knows. The same with two other brothers of my Ex which will attend the party as well.
They live out in the Pampa (nowhereland) I never have driven there myself (visited their only once and that was quite enough).
So once my Ex will be at the party, do you think he says NO to beer? I know my Ex and I know how the previous Christmas Parties with his family in town have been.  Maybe I am imagining to much, but drinking and driving and a child? NO WAY!  

The funny thing is, my Ex won't visit his own family without our child. The child has to be present!. This was not the case during our marriage. Still can not understand why my Ex is reacting like that? What is he hiding from or afraid to face?

>Could you pick up the child at 8 pm? Drive the hour there,
>and back? The child could sleep on the way back.
>I understand your fears, but if the kid is going to be asleep
>by the time the partying begins, and is a sound sleeper, the
>child may not be affected by the environment at all?
>Personally I cant understand a parent wanting their child on
>new years eve! Most kids will fall asleep well before
>midnight. Most parents get sitters, and go out and party etc.
>We always have the kids, and I would love a new years eve off!
>Then again I would probably just fall asleep early anyway,
>getting too old I suppose! LOL

Visitation Issues / RE: A note from Ex
« on: Dec 31, 2004, 03:03:34 PM »
If I get a chance to talk to him in person I will offer him New Years Day (he asked me to leave a response taped to his door, which I won't do - probably looking for evidence to show denial)
Unfortunately he won't take the child overnight as it is associated with work (preparing food for the child, washing, brushing teeth, driving him to daycare, etc..)  He knows to enjoy his life by picking only the comfortable things and leaving other people the work.
It took me a while to figure out that after the child had spent all day with Dad (morning 9am to evening 8pm) that the child had no food while staying with his Dad.  Isn't it the responsibility of Dad to feed the child during the visit?

>I would say no, sounds too much like a party house and the
>child is too young.
>BUT offer him New Year's Day until Monday AM.  Let dad take
>him to preschool.  That way he can't say you're always turning
>him down.

Visitation Issues / RE: or:
« on: Dec 31, 2004, 02:38:19 PM »
That's probably not going to work as he won't leave before 6 pm and it's an 1 hour drive one way (so a total of 2 hours drive). So child would not make it until bedtime, which is usually 8pm.

>Maybe allow him a few hours and child returns by 8pm (or
>whatever time child goes to bed) to go to bed at the normal
>time. Then child did get to spend some time with dad on New
>Years Eve, but at least child is home by a decent time and
>hopefully before the major partying starts!!

Visitation Issues / A note from Ex
« on: Dec 31, 2004, 12:09:30 PM »
Just found a written note this morning from my Ex left at my car. He wants to take our son (4yrs) to my sister-in-law for New Years Eve - tonight.  It is always an exessive drinking party there and the communication is at low level. My brother-in-law (drug addict) is living in their household too. I don't like to see our child in this surounding as I think it is not in the childs best interest. I also don't like the fact about the short notices my Ex plans and controls my days and evenings all the time. Visitation is 'reasonable and generous'. What would you do?
Thank you and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Visitation Issues / RE: Question re: Order
« on: Dec 28, 2004, 08:04:44 PM »
thanks for responding to my issue.
the abusive history was documented as I reported to public health nurse, involved ministry for children and family, social worker, filed police report and spent some time in a womens shelter as I was a new immigrant and have no familiy/relatives here. I believe this was enough evidence for the judge that I received sole custody and guardianship, I should mention that I am residing in Canada so the institutions might have different names here than in the US.

My question about reasonable and generous visitation was because I am very afraid. I just read a case about a women in Toronto in the same situation like me who had to go to jail for 60 days because she denied here Ex visitation once. So my understanding is, that you have to have your door open at all times when it pleases your Ex. And that is exactly what is happening here.

Visitation Issues / Reasonable and Generous Visitation
« on: Dec 27, 2004, 10:07:32 PM »
Hello everybody!
Can someone explain what is 'reasonable and generous' visitation. I am legally separated with sole custody and sole guardianship, one child age 4yrs.  My attorney did not respect my wish for a clear definition of visitation schedule. Said it would be better to have it that way, which causes pretty much trouble for us as the father of the child (with physical and mental abusive history) is knocking at the door all the time and interupting our childs and my routine.  How much would you consider as reasonable and generous?
Thanks for sharing your ideas.

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