Messages

Oh, just damn.

I think that woman knows exactly how that boy got his hands on the gun.  Was the gun locked up and unloaded on that particular day?  She needs to be charged with first degree murder.

Has the gun grabbing fifth column said anything about this case yet?

You have my prayers and best wishes!  This sounds like a wonderful opportunity.  You'll do just fine :-)

Have you mentioned to her that you want a divorce?  That was my mistake.  I went through 6 years of hell getting away from my ex after I opened my big mouth.  

My ex fits the profile of a sociopath and narcissist.  When their source of supply threatens to leave, there will be hell to pay.  I don't know too much about BPD, but if she could be persuaded to see a doctor and take medication, then it would be possible to save your marriage.  Big "ifs".

Imo, if she has problems and refuses treatment, then I would quietly see a lawyer while still living in the home.  You should have custody.

PAS is real.  Sometimes it backfires on the alienator, though.  Be patient, most kids see through it after a while.  Never say anything negative about their mother, don't pry into their home life, just be there for them.  If they trust you and there are problems, they'll tell you or their father.

I am concerned with the remark about CPS.  My ex husband filed for divorce first and gave me sole physical custody.  After he found someone to marry, we got our first visit from CPS.  The case was closed out, and I was advised to seek legal help against my ex.  Which I haven't....yet.  Too busy, no money.

For visit number two, please see my post over on the father's board.  Pay attention to the part where ex and his wife visited the youngest one in the hospital.  I don't tolerate that kind of language coming from a child, but she was loaded up on morphine.  

Wouldn't you want to be a positive part of the children's lives, instead of the one they dislike?  My "children" range in ages 10, almost 17, 21, and 25.  I have a grandchild, and another on the way.  

Something you may not know about CPS, and I'm sure my ex doesn't know, is that that agency gets Federal funding when they place children in foster care.  If there is a legitimate reason to remove the children from the mother's care, you and your husband may not be able to get custody.  Of course I don't know the concerns you and your husband have regarding the kids mother, so I can't comment.  Good luck.

No offense to you, but the whole situation is strange.  Coming from a personal perspective, a gf/bf is not supposed to be watching the kids, the parent is.  It's more than just "watching them" because most parents want to spend their visitation time with their kids.

If you didn't read post #3, please do.  Think about it, and let us know your thoughts on the questions I asked.  Take care.  Btw, I am truly sorry about your girl.  I hope she can get better.

You cannot make someone parent their child if they don't want to.  A DNA test is imperative in this case.  

You don't have to worry about custody.  He's already shown how interested he is in parenting this child.  It's going to be hard to explain to your boy when he gets older, but you can do it.  Little white lies....

Btw, congratualations on the birth of your baby boy ;-)

A couple of questions for you.  How old is your daughter, and how much time has her dad actually spent with her during her life?  What has changed in her dad's life that he's willing to step up and be a regular presence in her life?

Don't freak out about this.  As mothers, it seems like we always feel like we're being judged.  Talk to a counselor and discuss your concerns.  If all else fails, watch endless episodes of "Married With Children".  See?  You're better than that :-)

I have to wonder about a couple of people on that site.  While some of them look like drug users, others look like regular people that you wouldn't expect to break the law.  Poor kids :-(

There's a couple of women who look like they are drug addicts.  It's in their eyes.  I think that's what you're seeing.

You know what really struck me?  Most of these people don't look like criminals :-(