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WHAT STATE ARE YOU IN?

my sd mother attempted this.. she listed her boyfriend as sd father, school refused to give us any info, so we contacted superintendent, said we would fax copies of court order stating joint legal custody, and then cited ferpa, we also cited the state law, like according to florida state staute etc.. we also asked if they did not believe our assesment was correct to please have the school district atty contact us and tell us which statute they are operating under. We are in CA bm is in FL so we have 3000 miles between us.

that worked, we even got an apology letter from superintendent

ok, heres my honest opinion, forgive me if it sounds harsh, It should not matter if you or anyone else feels he is a "descent" guy, because whether he is or isnt, does not change the fact that this is his child, and he  has the legal right to know it, if your husband doesnt agree, maybe you should look closer at his value system, ask him to put himself in his shoes.. same response?  
If everyone knows the truth but noone has the moral backing to stand up for what they believe in, then you are in for a rude awakening when this young man gets older and ends up resenting all of you for keeping his father from him.

You know, say this father isnt a "descent" guy right now.. maybe all he needs is something to turn it around for

I believe you have a moral obligation to this child to let the father know,then let him have the option to take it from there..  now some may not agree with me, but its my opinion.

Like everyone has said.. go get an attorney, even if the child isnt here yet.. this way, you may be able to make it so she has to notify you of the birth, therfore you can be on the birth cert. but i wouldnt wait to long .. you anger will never subside, but children are a blessing, regardless of how they get there.. and even if the ex or ex's are pbfh!! and trust me.. Ive got 2 to deal with so I know!!

well from my dh own experience of not finding out he had a son till son was 2 (from a one night stand) it has been hard, but as a parent I believe that you have an obligation to notify this man of his child, if you have to without him knowing it came from you .. then so be it. Forget your daughter, forget the father and remember the child, the child has a right to know both parents and make decisions about them when there older,  so if you dont want to tell him.. heck.. give me his number.. Ill call him and tell him for you.


In my honest opinion, I believe that there should be some sort of law past that would discourage this from woman. Like, the hospital sends out a notice to the fathers, or the insurance company does, or heck you cant get financial assistance until the father has been notified and you can prove it.

these are just my opinions cause Ive seen first hand the pain its caused.. ..

Well all, we had SS for 14 of the 18 days of winter break.. he is almost 13 and that is the longest weve ever had him.. it was great..
when it came time for moms midweek, ss didnt want to go..  then when mother dropped him off the next morning she was hysterically crying.. I couldnt believe it I was thinking oh my god woman pull your self together.. he doesnt deserve the emotional dependancy you are placing on him.
Well anyways, after that long together ss told us last night that hed like to start coming over more regularly.. so.. I smell the winds of change.. I will pray very hard that his mother doesnt make him tell the mediator something different, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason.. she opened this case again, so maybe its gods way of showing her how life really works. Plus.. does she really think that the judge is going to change all our vacation periods.. when the judge is the one who hand wrote what she wanted them to be a year and a half ago.. lets see if the judge sees her for her true self..

mediation is in 2 weeks.. pray for the best recommendation.. everyone please..

wait.. a second,, this is what I learned living in CA and dealing with the FL courts for my sd, they will drag you along forever.. we tried to come to a conclusion on our case for 2 years finally.. our atty there said you know this case should have been a CA case in the first place as the child is from CA and the father still resides there..we filed here in CA and our case was heard and finished in 2 months
 You should contact an atty in your area, you should file for a divorce from ex and seek custody of child, I dont know how mom can sign away custody that she doesnt have, I would bet she gave grandma temp guardianship..while she is in prison, You may be able to go to the local court and file for emergency custody.. I would be calling an atty in your area today if it were me.. now I know some may not agree to what I am saying, but if you are still legally married, mother can not just sign away your custody.. and dont let the FL courts ruin you.. cause they will....
 Have you asked Soc about all this??

well .. dh had court yesterday, and he WON.. mother was denied on her motion to take 1/2 of fathers christmas vacation, it was hilarious.. hate to say that but it was, they had there mediation triage in the hall and I was standing right around the corner cause the courtroom was too full for family to be in there .. so I got to hear the entire thing.. mediator told mom, she is unreasonable and always wants things her way and it doesnt work like that..then dh said, Ill show I am always willing ot compromise and Ill give her a midweek, but only one. Bm started crying that its not fair.. and she wont accept any less than 4 days.. then mediator  spoke to bms atty and said : Your client is unreasonable, to the point that I am speechless and said she will make a recommendation that they return to mediation to reevaluate entire parenting plan.. then they went in front of judge and bms atty said mother is not accepting mediators recommendation of one mid week visit, judge said too bad and that its not about what mother wants, its about this is dads time and its staying dads time, he then gave her  one mid week from 530pm to 9 am the next mornin!!!

I bout fell out of my chair.. it was funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So back to mediation they go.. and were asking for 50/50.. we have nothing to loose...

thanks for listening..

AND THE SAGA CONTINUES!!!

Ok, so got a call at 8 am sharp this mornin from atty, he got hand delivered papers yesterday at 459 he closes at 5, bm wants to go to triage mediation on monday regarding this christmas vacation as she wants part of my time, and she said she will discuss other issues later. I think she may take the cake on dumbest female to roam the earth!! Our atty was calling her atty this mornin to say.. umm no.. it doesnt work that way, we will stipulate to return to mediation to discuss all issues not just the ones that work for mom.. So hes supposed to let us know if we have court on monday or not.. but I am sure we will.. I hope the judge sees that her only interest is herself.. noone else just herself.. So.. this monday.. please stop for a second and say a small prayer for the dad who just needs all the prayers he can get.. cause the judge we have in the past is pro mom..

thanks

.. You should have your custody order modified to be more specific.. our states father has child from Friday after school, until monday return to school, if monday is a school holiday then father has child until school resumes.

Anywas heres an update... which I thought was funny.. kinda... So all this happens during thanksgiving break, then last wed we get a call from our atty, who is laughing ..first off.. :) he says bm's atty called him and they want to change the custody order, our atty says fax over what you want your changes to be and we'll review it.. So they did.. bm tried to change EVERYTHING..from holidays, to regular time to summer to pick ups and drop offs..and on bottom says EITHER FATHER AGREES OR WE FILE MOTION TO MODIFY, AND TEMP ORDERS IN COURT!! so our atty faxes it to us and says.. here you have to review this, but your gonna just crack up laughing cause bm is nuts if she thinks we'd ever willingly agree to any of this.  So we sent letter back stating what we would be willing to agree to and that rest of order stays same as it currently is, and that we are fine returning to court and mediation as there are a few issues dh would like to address anyways!!.. well that was Friday, and we havent heard a word from her atty, so I am wondering if her atty said look dumb dumb you have more to loose than to gain and lets just forget the whole thing.

so funny.. like we were just going to say.. oh sure Ill give up the time I have for you even though I have spent thousands of dollars to get what I have and yearly trips to court.. I THINK SHES CERTIFIABLY CRAZY!!!!

SO WE SHALL SEE......... MAYBE HER ATTY NEEDS MORE MONEY AND WILL TAKE US TO COURT AFTERALL..

we had an atty in orlando area he goes all over though mark troum was his name, hes expensive as all he.l... and in the end he ended up getting the case thrown out of fl jurisdiction and into CA where we live to make it easier on us.. and then once here we won.. I felt like the FL justice system sucks and is neverending.. CA was much more to the point.... just my opinion though..