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Like most CP moms, you probably have a new man in your life who wants to play daddy and replace her real dad.

...you have already made your decision.

He is not just a sperm donor, he is not the guy down the block. He is definitely not father of the year. But he does have rights, whenever he chooses to go to court to get them in place. And your daughter has the right to know him.

Is a "normal childhood" having 2 parents in a loving home? She will never have that. Neither will most of the kids that are the focus of this site. They are accustomed, as are my 4 grandkids, to having 2 households at various times and a whole circle of extended family and "step" family. I was raised in an intact home. My grandkids are not. But they are happy and healthy and have a lot of people to love them.

You say your daughter is at an age where she prefers some people over others. That is normal, but if she doesn't get to know him now, it will be that much harder later on. There may not be a bond now...but how can there be if you deny it?

Of course, he may not bother going to court for his rights, and you will not be obligated to letting him see her. If he does, you will have no choice in the matter unless you can prove him unfit.

Do as these people are suggesting. If he goes to court, suggest a supervised, gradual schedule while they get acquainted and you get an idea of his parenting skills. If he shows his unpleasant side, deal with that through the court.

IMO, you are just going to do what you've already made up your mind to do. I don't think we've convinced you that there are alternatives.
I hope, for their sakes, you'll give it a chance.
If not, good luck to you and your daughter.

Man I am so sorry to hear that.

Whatever happened to her claiming to have completed one of her courses or whatever it was? Had she? Does she have visits again? How were the police involved?

What is it gonna take for the court to see just how much damage she can do? Grrrr....

If any of you know Lee and Mimi, they have been asked to be on the air on His Side with Glenn Sacks tonight.

Glenn is discussing PAS with guests Gloria Allred and Dean Tong. See http://www.hisside.com/.

Lee was denied visitation with his kids for over 4 years and endured false allegations. He finally took his ex to court last fall where she was found in contempt. She is appealing that decision. He was reunited with his kids late last October. They are almost at the end of a month-long summer visit and have had a wonderful time. They are as close to Dad now as they ever were. Lee has court in September for another contempt and change of custody.

Tune in if you can, it should be an interesting show!

http://fitness.msn.com/articles/feeds/article.aspx?dept=exercise&article=et_mh_060704_hoop>1=3584

My son has custody of his boy. In January 2003 he filed for CS. This February our (Ohio) county's CSEA took her to court for non-payment and she was found in contempt and given a month to start paying or face a month in jail and fines. During that month they ordered her to attend a work program, which she reported to on the last day (deadline). She is still not working last we heard.

I hear ya.

to change the system is more judges like this one, and more bm's who show the world their true colors like this one. She is being made an example of, and I hope if this type of behavior has the consequence of a change of custody, more of them will think twice before making accusations and brainwashing the kids.

It will have no effect on some of them because they are too self-centered to think of the kids' welfare.

I read today that when she speaks to them on the phone, if she cries or tries to upset the kids, the social worker listening in will end the call. Too bad they couldn't have stopped that public display too. Those girls were crying because Mom was hysterical, and because of all the hoopla going on around them. I bet once they were away from all that and in Dad's arms they were just fine.

Let's hope this sets a precedent in the courts.

It's like I said last night...
She figures if the test shows you are not daddy, the court will take peanut away and give her back to mom and the CS disappears. She is desperate at this point and may realise the "stay at home mom" thing won't cut it.

You are the daddy.

OMG! It's about time!!

It's so great to hear that your son can finally get the care he deserves. He must be ecstatic. How does your daughter feel about it? Is she finished school yet? Will they be changing schools?

Oh man, I'm so happy for you!! And the kids! Way to go!!

DFS will not do much, obviously. The kids should call the police next time the boyfriend lays a hand on them or they witness drugs being used. If they find abuse they have to report it, and then DFS will have to act.

Unfortunately we hear this kind of thing all the time, but maybe not to the extent your kids have suffered (and you too).

Please keep coming here for support and keep us posted.