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Topics - wysiwyg

#1
Dear Socrateaser / Petition question
Mar 02, 2007, 08:04:38 AM
Good mornign Soc,

In trying to work up a petition I am at a point where I need to ask you opinion / assistance.

Many of the things being alledged in the petition for contemt are based on perivious findings of the court, discovery violations, visitation denials, failure to mediate, providing false information to school, dr's etc.  I have the petition written but would like to make a note of the previous findings of the court to show a continuing pattern and history and justify my asking for attorney's fees.

1.  How do I incorporate this passage in my petition?

In asking for CS modification, I have several change of circumstances, ie court used BM original income from 1996 even tho she has held multiple jobs since 1996 and currenly is reported at a 35% weekly decrease than waht is being used for CS calculation, BF income was used from 1997, child no longer in day care, etc. even tho the court did a new CS calculation in 2003 it used the above from 1996, 1997.

2.  How do I point this out to the court as a basis of my modification without cioming off as being accusatory?
#2
Dear Socrateaser / how would you??
Feb 22, 2007, 05:59:14 AM
Soc, IN here, order states:

"When it becomes necessary that a child be cared for by a person other than a parent or a family member, the parent needing the child care shall first offer the other parent the opportunity for additional parenting time."

Child has stated on several occasions that BM has left the state and left my child in the care of neighbors or scout parents without notifying BF.  BF lives less that 5 miles from the child and the BM's home and can easily transport child to/from school.  

1.  I know who these folks are that cared for my child but how do I prove and get evidence for court?
#3
Good afternoon Soc,

I will try and be brief.

QUestion #1. Several years ago, BF's incme was imputed for CS, since then father has been working steadily and making $125 week less than what is imputed - is imputed income never going to change or can we file for new mod based on current income?

Quesiton #2 - Sometime ago I wrote you regarding BM contempt findings and order to pay BF attorney fees.  Since then BM failed to pay in court ordered time, automatic judgement in favor of our attorney, filed for prosupp hearing,  BM failed to show up for court for hearing, filed a second hearing BM showed up but negotiated a deal and agreed to pay within 2 months, documented on court docket, BM failed to pay due to her agreement terms.  New court date coming up, what should I expect?

THanks for everything, have a great weekend!
#4
Dear Socrateaser / Dilemma - comments help please
Jan 08, 2007, 03:47:04 AM
Good morning Soc,

I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your family!

I am BF/NCP.  Case is in IN.

Over the weekend 15 son came for weekend as per parenting plan, we had  numerous conversations as always about all topics of life etc, however this time a twist and I need your help.

Son came out the door from home BM on Friday afternoon storming from the house yelling at her, once in car he explained that she is on his case - so I listened.  Since she is admittedly violent and physically abusive (in court records) and on prozac, and since I have been the brunt of her beatings I see hints of problems to come in the future between the two of them however I maintained my cool, let him speak and we discussed the matter in detail.  My issue is that he said some things including drinking and leaving his home and coming here to live.  

Given that his mother refuses to speak to me in any way shape or form, including refusing to answer her phone and return a message (if by chance the machine is one which it usually is not).  I thought about calling the police and asking them to assist, however I do not want the child to have a record of any sort since he has ambitions of going to the military and do not want to blemish his record.  

My question is as followss;

1.  How do I handle this situation if/when he shows up some late night at my home?

2.  What if he has been drinking?

3.  If I call and notify her and then have son talk to her, and request that she allow son to cool down and stay the night, telling her we get him to school the next morning and she refuses, how do I handle that and make my son believe I have not betrayed him since I do not have custody?

My concerns are that she will somehow twist this around (as she has done previously and filed false police reports) that we kidnapped him or something to that nature.



#5
Soc,

I am sure I speak for many of here to wish you the very best during the holiday season.  I hope you get rest, enjoy the time with your family and reflect on good memories!

Thanks for all you do here for all of us!

A Very Merry Christmas to you!
#6
Dear Socrateaser / court order question
Dec 19, 2006, 11:23:30 AM
Soc,  new thread for easy reading, you know how wordy I can get!  LOL

Court order of MArch 06 stated BM to pay BF attorney fees within 90 days or failure to pay results in automatic judgement in favor of our attorney's firm.  BM also in comtempt for failure to abide by 2 court orders.

90 days pass and BM did not pay in full as ordered by court, judgement entered, pro supp filed and OTA entered for August court date.

BM nor atrorney appear in in August for court.  Attorney files for another court date and OTA for BM To explain why she failed to appear.  COurt date set for October.

October - she and her attorney, our attorney and our sub attorney all agreed out of court she will pay remainder or balance and all attorneys fees in 60 days. Court entered notice of such.

60 days go by and she failed to pay.  She has multiple comtempts for failing to comply with the court, and multiple judgements for her failure to pay her debts.  This is not a money issue, she just paid out 500 plus for school ring (for a freshman)  sport equipment and got child a cell phone.

Our attorney has adjusted our bill to not reflect this outstanding debt she has failed to pay so I am not on the hook for that, but want her to be held accountable for her actions.

1.  any ideas on how this should be handled?
#7
Dear Socrateaser / Who's Weekend Is it?
Dec 19, 2006, 05:18:09 AM
Soc,

IN here, both parties court ordered to follow the Indiana parenting time guidlines to the T.  

NCP to get EOW and holidays expressed within guidelines.

Dec 15-17 - CP weekend, one childs b day on the 17th (Sunday)  "In even numbered years the non-custodial parent shall have all of the children on each child's birthday from 9:00 A.M. until 9:00 P.M." - NCP had all children Sunday 9-9.

The next 2 weekends pan out like this due to the guidelines:

Dec 22-24 - CP has this weekend due to the xmas holiday provision "One-half of the period which will begin at 8:00 P.M. on the evening the child is released from school and continues to December 30 at 7:00 P.M."  Childs winter break starts on Wed at 8 PM.

Dec 29-31, will be split as NCP will have the children until Saturday the 30th at 7 PM, when CP then has them for New Years holiday.

Who's weekend then does it become Jan 5-7?  

SPECIAL NOTE ADDED -

"The Holiday Parenting Time Schedule shall take precedence over regularly scheduled and extended parenting time.  Extended parenting time takes precedence over regular parenting time unless otherwise indicated in these Guidelines.

If the non-custodial parent misses a regular weekend because it is the custodial parent's holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume following the holiday.  If the non-custodial parent receives two consecutive weekends because of a holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume the following weekend with the custodial parent."


#8
Dear Socrateaser / What do we say to this?
Nov 10, 2006, 06:15:05 PM
Soc,

all parties in IN, as well as all court orders.

Court orders pertaining to this situation provide for SM to pick up child in place of BF as his representative.  BF to have parenting time EOW from 6 to 6 and to be availalbe at the residence of the CP, BM is to tell BF as far in advance of any activity on his time to either work out alternate arrangements or decide if child is to go due to pre scheduled activities with BF, neither party is to involve the child in their disputes in regards to parenting times and the child is not to act as a go between.

This evening when I went to get SS, BM said he would be a few min and slammed door in my face, when SS comes out at 610 he says on way to car that he has a school activity at 630.  I said we did not know and did his mom talk to his dad he said no.  When we got in the car I handed him my cell phone and asked him to call his mother and ask her to work it out with his dad (she calls me a whore, flips me off and will not speak to me - all this is docucmented in court with the GAL's report) BM refuses to answer home or cell phone, so SS leaves a message to contact dad.  I called dad and asked his what we should do that I felt uncomfortable in that I had nothing from BM that said he had any activity and not that I do not trust SS, he is a child and I was not going to leave him some place on a minors word with no confirmation that this was indeed a school function that he was to attend.

BM finally calls back nearly an hour after child was to be at the school and leaves a mesasge that "SS was negligible for not contacting BF earlier in the week and that SS left 2 phone messages earlier today and if we caused him to not go then SS would face repercussions in school...etc etc etc.  When we got home tonight there were 2 prior calls from SS - but both on home phone and he knew we were both at work and no call was ever placed to either cell phone or to our work.  As a parent I would never allow my kids to go anywhere without speaking to antoher parent with whom my child was to be with.  

The court order does not give me the authority to take and drop off the child anywhere I see fit without the knowledge of his father while in our care.  When I called BF he had heard nothing from BM or anything to confirm this activity.  So he said he was only comfortable with having the child with us since nothing was discussed otherwise.

1.  From a parents point of view I believe I was 110% correct in my handling of the situation, but legally in the best interest of the child, how would the court rule, towards the function or his safety?
#9
Dear Socrateaser / court yesterday -
Sep 28, 2006, 09:56:27 AM
Soc (changed and spelling corrected :)  )

updated in post below!

THX
#10
Dear Socrateaser / how to handle question
Sep 14, 2006, 05:50:19 AM
Good morning Soc!

IN here, order states that CP (BM) should provide all clothing necessary for the child while in the care of the NCP.  

In the past we have had a rich 12 year history of BM not providing athletic uniforms, special occation clothing or musical instruments for the child when he comes to us for the weekend/holidays.  She uses this situation to create a hostile confrontation during our time with the child and in front of him.  We have had everything from calling 911 with allegations of holdiong the child hostage (when she refused to give us baseball uniform and we asked her at the game for it) to not giving us the musical instrument and comeing to our home and causing a terrible scene at our door, or to undress and re dress the child in public in his uniform becasue she would not give us his uniform to clothe the child for an activity.

I (SM) have been going to get the child due to BF's work schedule, this is fine and addressed in the order.  Now that SS is in HS and in marching band he has several weekends over the next 3 months that he has competitions, tomorrow when I go to get him, I have every reason to believe that BM will refuse to give the child his uniform and instrument in order for him to have it for his comeptiton and she will use that to create some uncomfortable sitation, it has also been addressed by the GAL and the Mediator that her hostility towards me is unfounded and immature.  Therefore I believe it to be a double whammy for the child in that she will refuse to give him his things necessary for his compititions in weeks to come becasue I am there.  She has significant control over the child in order to intimidate him to not bring his things if she so demands, and is an admitted abuser in court records.  

In the past we have just said if it is not priovided and he did not want to go then he did not have to go, however, as he is older and this is for a academic grade it is in his best interest to go, but BF and I are baffled as we also believe it is in his best interests and our other child to not endure a hostile confrontation.

1. How should I handle this at the door tomorrow when I go to get him if he is not allowed to bring his things?  

Sorry to be so wordy, that is one of my downfalls in order to explain the situation...........
#11
Soc,

Hearing today regarding BM failure to abide by court order to pay our attorney fees.  

BM and her attorney failed to show.  Our "Sub" attorney (our regular could not come due to trial) finled a rule to show cause for her failure to show up with teh requested information ie assets and ability to pay.

1. What do you think will happen now?
#12
Dear Socrateaser / simple questions I hope.......
Aug 18, 2006, 03:55:36 AM
Soc,

Refreshing your memory, IN here.

BM ordered last spring to pay BF attorney's fees within 90 days or failure would result in an  automatic judgement against her in favor of our attorney's firm.

BM failed to do so, I was obligated to pay attorney so I did and inquired about what they would then do to recoup the funds since they had the judgement.  Firm dragged feet and after 2 months I aksed what we can do so that I can get my money back as obviously BM was not gonna pay.  They said they could do a pro supp to collect and asked if WE WANTED TO GO THAT ROUTE!

I told them to go ahead and do what they had to do to get our money back since she failed again to abide by court order.  

They filed agaisnt her - hearing is upcoming.  Yesterday I received a bill from the attorney for the time involved for drawing up and filing the pro supp!  This brings to light is I will be billed for his time to be in court next week as well.

I believe that I should not incur these costs since the firm had the judgement and has a duty to NOT sit on it and let it go by way of the doo doo, that is not in my best interest.

1. Should I point out to the attorney that these costs incurred should not be billed to me?

2. What do I say?

The filing reads that "the judgement creditor owns a judgement obtained in this court against the Respondent on (date) for the sumn of XXX and costs and interest."

3.  Does this mean that they can recoup the remaining balance plus all interest past the date of the order plus attorney's costs to file?

Thank you.
#13
Dear Socrateaser / up their sleeve
Aug 15, 2006, 01:53:26 PM
Soc,

IN here

BM has a different pro supp hearing next week for her failure to pay our attorney fees resulting in automatic judgement.  Our attorney asked for copies of her home equity loan and court order that shows she paid over 10K in a previous pro supp/debt just 10 days ago vacating that order for garnishment.

1.  How do you think he will argue this with this information?

BM filed a motion in June that stated our refusal and or failure to pay cs, cs is paid via income with holding order.  BM's attorney refuses to respond to our attorney on how much they claim is in arrears and how/when I refused to pay.  My attorney has seen the state records and agrees with me that all is updated and paid and no arrears are in place.  I beleive that they might try and argue a situation 2 years ago that she went without CS for 2 months, however I had paid the CS (taken out of my pay) it was my employer that neglected to forward those funds to the state under order of with holding, I had no idea of waht was going on.  I believe that they have something up their sleeve that they refuse to respnd to my attorney's questions.

2.  Can they go back 2 years to this situation?
3.  Can we argue taht we followed the courts order and taht CS was paid via income with holding and that the failure was the employers not the employee?
4.  Can we also argue that her suit that we pay her attorney's fees becasue of her inability be argued that subsequent to that filing she paid off a 10K debt, and has a home equity loan of 75K?
3.  can we argue that if she was that hard up for money why did she wait until now to file on something that was resolved 2 years ago?

Thanks for your help!
#14
Dear Socrateaser / Your opinion please
Jul 31, 2006, 05:46:42 AM
Soc,

I have posted bits and pieces of this situation to you in the last few weeks, however it is now coming together and I would like you opinion.  

Details:

BM received house in divorce that was 100% paid for.
BM has had 3 filings against her subsequent to divorce for failure to pay debts.
2 filings resolved as paid.
Third filing resulted in judgement and garnishment hearing was last week, in excess of 10K and at last minute a filing to vacate as all debt and costs paid.
BM found in contempt in spring and ordered to pay my attorney's fees within 3 months or result in automatic judgement in favor of the firm, she did not pay, I paid attorney - and I instructed attorney to file a motion to collect so that I could recoup the fees I paid him.  Hearing is in 3 weeks.
Went to court house and found in public records that BM has taken a revolving line of credit on the house for 75K of which only 2 K is left to be borrowed.  (NOTE: the loan was only for 75% of the appraised value of the house)
Prior to her paying off 10K, BM filed a petition that I have failed/refused to pay my CS, this is ridiculous as I am under an income with holding order and CS has been paid and even when I changed jobs, I have been paying so all CS is 100 current.  Her petition also stated she is without funds to bring the action to court and asked for me to pay her attorney fees.  THis is set for a hearing in 6 weeks.  

1.  How would you handle the hearing for garnishment in three weeks?  
2.  Would you present the documents that BM has paid the 10K and has some $ left on her revolving loan to pay the $800 in attorney fees?
3.  Would you argue that she does have the ability to pay since she has paid her debts off (all three of them), paid all the taxes on the house and paid for the child to attend elaborate camps and trips in the last few weeks?
4.  How would you argue the hearing set in 6 weeks regarding the refuse/failure to pay cs and request for attorney's fees?
5.  Would you also provide documentation of what BM has claimed her annual income is and that I continue to pay towards day care even though the child has not been in day care for 3 years?

Any insight you can provide is greatly appreciated since my attorney will have a sub for the hearing in three weeks.

Thanks.
#15
Dear Socrateaser / Judgement and collections
Jul 20, 2006, 10:28:04 AM
Soc,

IN state.

BM has 2 judgements on her 1- failure to pay credit card, in excess of 10K plus costs and insterest and 2- failure to pay our attorney fees, resulting in auto judgement by the law firm who is the Judgement holder.

Judgement 1 is set for a court date next week for collections, she has to show proof of income, assets etc.

Judgement 2 - has been filed asking for a court date, for her to show proof of the same above, and an order to follow thorugh with collecitons.

By my records from divorce settlement, monies I paid her, monies she was willed, assets in home (100% paid for at time of divorce) she has been paid 110K and has another 150K in assets, IRA's and pensions.

1.  What will likely happen and
2.  what will likely be attacked?

BTW, she has only reported that she has $600 in bank and has repeatedly reported the last ten years as manking $984 week, and previous 2 filings for collections resulted in repayments within the last 18 months.

Just want to know what and where I need to be looking, since Judgement 2 will actually end up being a repayment to me since I have paid in full the attorney's fees.

Thanks!
#16
Soc,

IN state

Went to Courthouse to pay on CS Wednesday, they told me that there was something filed the previous week on our case.  I went to the courtroom and spoke to the recep. and obtained a copy of the motion and the order.

Motion was BM accusations that I "failed/refused" to pay my cs.  She also signed the motion that under penalty of perjury that the allegations were true to the best of her knowledge.  THis was filed the 29th.  On the 30th judge signed an order to appear and set court date.

I was under a with holding order from July 04 until third week April 06 when I changed jobs.  CS was sent by my employer to the state and I have copies of receipts and transactions.  SInce I changed jobs, no with holding has been put into place so I have been going to the court house when I was in the area and paying several weeks at a time on CS.  

There have been 27 weekly payments made to date on the CS , the one right previous to her filing was less that 2 weeks prior to her filing.

To make matters more confusing - her attorney filed the action and did not list anyone on the distribution list, and listed me on the distribution list for the order - my attorney was completely left off and I would not have received a copy of the filing had I not been at the courthouse on Wednesday and paid for my own copy, the order was sent to me and an email to my attorney with scanned copies of the motion and filing confirmed that he was not aaware of this new action.

1.  Isn't this perjury to claim failure/refusal to pay when she has received all payments?

2.  What can be done to stop this ridiculous action?

3.  Can something be done to correct BM attorney on his distributions?  I am assuming that was intentional - since BM attorney has been in court before with ours.
#17
Soc,

1.  Can you please translate this so I can understand?

It is therefore the order of the court that Judgement be and is hereby rendered against Defendant, in the amount of XXXXX plus interest at the rate of 6.000% from (date) in the amount of XXXXX for a total of XXXXX plus interest at the rate of 6% per annum from the date of the judgement until paid, Plaintiff's court costs expended herein, and for all of which execution may issue forthwith.

2.  The money is still owed, a judgement entered, now how does this place collect?  

(You guessed it, it is a Diff judgement on the BM, she just refuses to pay her bills)

Thanks Soc.  Have a good evening.
#18
Soc,

IN state

BM found in contempt twice in last court order and ordered to pay my attorney's fees "within 90 days to (XXXX law firm) or the same is reduced to judgment against Respondent and in favor of (XXXX Law firm.)"  BTW BM also previously fined for failing to abide by a discovery order and multiple failures to abide by vistation orders, mediation orders and compel orders from the court.

BM has not paid.

1. How does the judgement work?
2. I paid the attorney the balance remaining, do I need to file a contempt motion to recoup these funds?

Thanks a bunch!
#19
Soc

Indiana Here, courts orders are to follow the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines "without alteration".  At the conclusion of our last hearing where BM was found in contempt X 2 for failing to abide by courts direct orders, we asked our attorney the question that given the "without alteration" clause in the order, if BM signed child up for an activity on my weekend without my consent what happens, the response was that BM can not take that weekend away UNLESS per the guidelines the parents agree to another arrangement.

BF asked BM to switch a weekend so child could go to school weekend field trip, BM refused, in absence of aggreement BF told her that the EOW clause without alteration and in absence of aggreement BF would get child at 6 PM.  Child not there at 6 PM, this caused BF to not see Child from March 24 weekend to May 5 weekend.

Per the guidelines, when a parent looses time due to a event outside the normal family routine, the parents are to agree to a weekend make up time if no aggreement is made NCP (BF) is to select the time.  BF has selected this time - BM refused it multiple times and multiple wekeends.

Her rationalization, is that BF FORFEITED his weekend by not coming to get the child when child returned from trip (4:30 AM Sunday AM, BF was never called nor was on emergency contact sheet to pick up from school, BM did not contact BF at all), but BF was there for pick up per the court orderd 6 PM exchange at the house, child nor BM were present.  All documented.  

Question #1:  Can you make any justifiable reationalization of this so called forfeiture in absence of an agreement between the parties?

Question #2:Can you give me a rational written response I can give to BM since my attempts to tell her that you can not forfeit something that you do not have to begin with theory?

Question #3: is it time to give up trying?  I have spent 90K in legal fees over the last 12 years, I have no retirment or savings left and the courts keep only giving her a slap on the hand.


Thank you for letting me rant!
#20
Dear Socrateaser / Question on CS post below
May 18, 2006, 10:37:25 AM
Soc,

The below post intriques me - here was situation.

DH under CS obligation, lost job filed for CS reduction due to change in circs.  Went to court and after 3.5 years a cs order came out, court ordered X amount and Y in arrears.  DH paid this faithfully for 5 years in cash directly to courthouse.

After 5 years TItle IV agency wanted total payment of arrears and froze all accounts.  Showed them court order that we were paying CS and arrears by terms of order, they claimed they "could becasue they could"  (as other poster noted - loose excuses and never consistant and never a valid reason).  No court order to do so from judge, but Prosecuting attorney sent "order to with hold all assets until arrears paid in X amount" to financial institutions.  

1. Who was in legal right?
2. Can a prosecuting attorney's "order to with hold" over ride a judges order that was being followed?
3. Note the length of time to render a cs order, should something have been done? (neither attorney would file a writ of mandamus sp.)

Although all is over with and we lost the fight and all our money, and only 5 days from being homeless, I still have a sour taste that things were not legally done on the up and up.  TY
#21
Dear Socrateaser / Rental question please
Apr 25, 2006, 02:21:21 PM
Soc, we are in IN.  Apartment complex we are now residing at has started demolition and rebuilding of condos.  The manager nor the owner has ever sent out written notice of demolition, all is hearsay, or viewable.  Currently we are 6 months into our lease, owners are no longer signing 1 year leases, short term only.  Due to construction, we have been subjected to interuptions of water (crished main) electricty (blown transformer) and blocked entrances, and parking annoyances.  From my balcony I see nothing but caterpillars, not the cute fuzzy little creatures either.  We feel that all the above has been a disruption to the quality of life we have known here for the past 12 years.

We are planning on moving this summer, breaking the lease.  The lease has a typical abandonment clause telling us that we are liable for any deficiency in rent.

Three years ago, the manager gave to us a "Lease Termination Addnedum" stating that "In consideration of the Lessor agreeing to release the Lessee from the aforesaid Lease prior to its expitration date, the Lessee agrees to the following:  it goes on to say that we would owe any outstanding rent which may be due and owing at the time of the intent to vacate, give them 30 days notice of intent to vacate, $0 in additional lease termination fees, and $0 which is the total value of the rental concession granted upon siging the lease, and the addendum supersedes the Abandonment clause contained in the Lease.

The prior manager also noted, dated adn signed on this "This addendum follows the lease and is good for the entirety of tenancy."

Question:  Do you see any issue with us breaking the lease with 30 days notice to the landlord with no penalties?
#22
Dear Socrateaser / Exchange times
Apr 10, 2006, 07:38:19 AM
Soc,

IN here, latest court order states "At the mid-way point during Christmas, the child shall be exchanged at 8:00 am on the day of the mid-way point." This was becasue there was contention as to exchange times brought up in court by BM.  There was no other testimony or situations where transfer times would be an issue that would have been made to an order.  

Question #1:  We have a situation where mother has instructed me to pick up the child at somewhere between 1 and 4 AM.  How can I state to mother that I believe that given the intention of the courts orders - that I believe the transfer time should be at 8 AM and not the middle of the night?

#23
Dear Socrateaser / Cs ?
Mar 28, 2006, 03:51:46 AM
Soc,

I hope you had a relaxing and enjoyable vacation!  Welcome back!

Hopefully 2 quick questions.

IN
Last CS modification we had was in 2003, we believe that BM does not pay for day care yet it is still figured into the CS Calc.  

1.  If she no longer pays for day care, is it her responsibility to notify the Title IV agency so that a new amount can be configured for the parties?

2.  If she has knowledge of this and failed to notify the TItle IV agency, can charges be brought against her?

Thanks.
#24
I am having a hard time trying to understand something.  We were in court Monday, mother was found in contempt for failing to abide by mediation order, her attorney tried to make mediation sound so volatile between us that the court rescinded the mediation order, fined BM for BF attorney's fees and stated that parties are to go by the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines PERIOD [stressing this word more than once], the court order stated "the Court believes that it is important for the parties to start over with the new guidelines, with no alterations".  The guidelines state that the NCP (me) is the have alternate weekends, and holidays and summer vacation as outlined, and that "Parenting time is both a right and a responsibility, and scheduled parenting time shall occur as planned".  I have no problem following the guidelines but I know that she will twist them to her benefit, currently signing the child up for activities that will not allow me to see my child for 7 weeks and telling me that those are my weekends and child wanted to go to said activity, which then negates the minimum time concept.  

Questions:

1.If the order is without alteration, this means to me that no weekend/holiday trades will be allowed, correct?

2.Can BM sign the child up for activities that will take away my weekends without my consent or knowledge?

3.If mother signs the child up for an activity (say a camp weekend for scouts) in which father will not see the child at all – would this be considered as "Adjustments to Schedule / "Make Up" Time.  Whenever there is a need to adjust the established parenting schedules because of events outside the normal family routine, the parent who becomes aware of the circumstance shall notify the other parent as far in advance as possible.  Both parents shall then attempt to reach a mutually acceptable adjustment to the parenting schedule. If an adjustment results in one parent losing scheduled parenting time with the child, "make-up" time should be exercised as soon as possible."

4.The guidelines also state "Any deviation from these Guidelines by either the parties or the court must be accompanied by a written explanation indicating why the deviation is necessary or appropriate in the case."  Does this mean we can deviate or we can not (without alterations), or is this in relation to an overall parenting time order of deviation?

Thanks for your help!
#25
Soc,

IN here.

In court yesterday and our witness was a phd in child psychology, appointed by the court to act as domestic arbitrator/case manager for the parties.  Court order last September noted that the BM was ordered to participate in mediation, 12 letters from BF requesting sessions, 2 phone calls and 2 letters from mediator asking for cooperation, BF finally filed a contempt action due to her failure to comply with teh courts orders.  Court found her in contempt and awarded BF attorney's fees, although noted that mediation was not working for the parties and recinded the current mediation order.  

1.  How can the court recind an order that was not asked for?  ie we asked for mediation to continue and the PHd testified it was beneficial to the parties, BM was the one vehimently opposed to mediation.

2.  On the stand our attorney and subsequently hers, asked the question "why did you not comply with the order"  her answer was "Due to attorney client privledges, I can not answer.  What the heck is that all about?

Thanks.
#26
Dear Socrateaser / Thoughts?
Jan 01, 2006, 06:33:21 AM
Good morning Soc, Happy New Year to you and to your family, I hope the New Year brings you much happiness and good health!

I was reading back into some old letters from BM in 03 and came across this - I had forgotten about it and have meeting with attorney this week and think it could be important in some way.

Situation:  BF pays CS via income with holding.  A few years back, apparently the employer spaced it and did not send the income with holding to the courthouse - although BF has paystubs to prove this was done via income with holding.  All was squared away within 2 months and satisfied.

BF received letter from BM in mid Jan stating "And, very honestly, it is also my understanding that he (employer) came very close to buying you some jail time. Whether you are aware or not, there was no child support submitted between November 15th and January 7th."  (BF was unaware)

1.  IF BM had prior knowledge of payment issues in receiving the CS paid through income with holding, is she not just as liable in some way?

2.  Is this not some sort of entrapment etc?

Thank you!
#27
Dear Socrateaser / tax return question
Dec 27, 2005, 12:04:04 PM
IN - court order reads:  The Petitioner should be entitled to declare the minor child as a tax  exemption for income tax purposes beginning in tax year 1996, so long as the Petitioner is current in  all child support payments due as of December 31st of the calendar year for which the Petitioner is declaring the exemption. The Respondent should execute any and all documents required for the Petitioner to exercise said exemption as required by applicable state or federal taxing authorities.

Situation:

BF is under a income with holding order, Employer closed out his books as of Dec 31, 2004 paid all employees up to and including Dec 31.
BF has all paycheck stubs to show child support paid via income with holding.
Last CS sent by employer was paid on Dec 31, 2004 was posted on Jan 5, 2005 and Jan 6 2005 (Septerate checks sent mail to courthouse)
BF asked BM to sign IRS form to claim child she refused stating support was not paid as of the 31st.  BF tried to reason with BM that it was unreasonalbe to expect the employer to have the payments sent and posted prior to BF making the money in order for the payments to posted by the 31st.  BF has all paycheck stubs to prove a consistant and timely payment via income with holding and all before 12/31.  BF went to court house on Dec 31 2004 to make sure all payments were made - courthouse was closed. The formula the CS uses to calculate payments made between 1/1 and 12/31 are total paid vs total owed.   paid $14,277 owed $5,200.  (Additional paid was due to an arrearage that was paid off).  Courthouse or child support dept will not answer questions regarding grace period or how payments are posted (as in how payments made in same envelope get posted on 2 seperate days).

Got a letter form IRS today that the child's SS# was claimed by both parents and to make the proper adjustments if we were wrong and resubmit.  

1.  What should I do?

#28
Dear Socrateaser / Help me understand?
Dec 15, 2005, 04:21:51 PM
Soc,

In here.

Court order reads:

The Court agrees with her (GAL) recommendation that a Case Manager/Domestic Arbitrator be assigned to this case to intervene in order to protect the child's interests and to prevent either party from alienating the child from the other parent, or in the event the parties cannot agree on the terms of their parenting time guidelines.
For those reasons, the Court hereby appoints, by a separate order, Dr. XX of as Case Manager/Domestic Arbitrator for this case. The Guardian Ad Litem recommended another modification to the Court's visitation order to eliminate more conflicts. The Court believes, however, it would be best for everybody involved, especially for the newly assigned Case Manager/Domestic Arbitrator, that the parties instead comply with the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines.
Therefore, the Court amends its visitation order so that Mother shall have custody and Father shall have parenting time according to the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines, effective October 1, 2003. In the event that there is a dispute, and in the event the parties cannot resolve the dispute according to section I(E) of the guidelines, the parties must employ the Case Manager/Arbitrator to mediate the dispute and to resolve the dispute as authorized by the Court's separate appointment
Order.

The Court believes that it is important for the parties to start over with the new guidelines, with no alterations, for the benefit of everybody who has been forced to become involved in the parties' personal matters.

Guidelines stsate:

I(E) When a disagreement occurs regarding parenting time and the requirements of these Guidelines, both parents shall make every effort to discuss options, including mediation, in an attempt to resolve the dispute before going to court.

So help me to understand:

We have a mediator that is court ordered to resolve parenting time issues, but we have to follow the Guidelines and parenting time with no alteration, is this correct?

What do we do when we have a conflit WITH parenting time?

The court order states that if the parties can not resolve a dispute regarding the I(E) portion of the guidelines that specifically talks about parenting time - then we must employ the mediator to resolve the issue of parenting time, is this correct?

So what order or passage do we follow?

The situation is this, I gave BM notice of Christmas schedule in June.  In September BM was court ordered to participate in mediation within 7 days, she refused, court hearing set for Jan on contempt of court.  In Oct (4.5 months after we gave her a schedule) she said she disputed our xmas, we told her in October that she could call mediator to schedule session, (FYI She had only to follow the courts direct order for mediationin Sept to resove this but refused) now 9 days before xmas break she skips mediation all together and goes straight to her attorney and now both attorney's have been in contact via email and phone all day, to both of us an enourmous cost!  The court even stated in its order: "The Court hopes, however, that in the long run it will be less expensive than paying their attorneys to write letters, to file pleadings, and to appear in court. The Court also hopes that this procedure will be less harmful to their child."  We have asked her 22 times since JUne to go to mediation to resolve this but she refused.

Would another contempt filing for failing to go to mediation and for failing to resolve this issue in mediation given the above appropriate or would we loose becasue of the other passages?

I do not know what to believe anymore.
#29
Dear Socrateaser / Almost laughable......
Dec 14, 2005, 07:31:56 AM
Soc,

Just a quick post....

We have multiple court orders that specify mediation for parenting related issues.  

One of the court orders read:

When a disagreement occurs regarding parenting time and the requirements of these Guidelines, both parents shall make every effort to discuss options, including mediation, in an attempt to resolve the dispute before going to court.

BF has been asking BM to go to mediation for over 6 months, x mas schedule can not be agreed upon, BM has stated that if we do not agree to her schedule and insist on mediating the x mas schedule she will file suit against us for 10 times the amount of the mediation session.  OK so lets get this straight, we have atleast 4 court orders for mediation, and she is gonna sue me for doing what the court ordered?  Yea right!

#30
Dear Socrateaser / How do you......?
Nov 29, 2005, 01:51:20 PM
I just feel like it is all a never ending battle......

Legal orders pertaqining to questions.

1.  Based upon her (GAL) findings, the Court agrees with her recommendation that a Case Manager/Domestic Arbitrator be assigned to this case intervene in order to protect the child's interests and to prevent either party from alienating the child from the other parent, or in the event the parties cannot agree on the terms of their parenting time guidelines.  For those reasons, the Court hereby appoints, by a separate order, Dr. RP as Case Manager/Domestic Arbitrator for this case.

2. In the event that there is a dispute, and in the event the parties cannot resolve the dispute according to section I(E) of the guidelines, the parties must employ the Case Manager/Arbitrator to mediate the dispute and to resolve the dispute as authorized by the Court's separate appointment Order.

3. The parties are hereby ordered to submit to domestic arbitration/case management with Dr. RP.    

4. When a disagreement occurs regarding parenting time and the requirements of these Guidelines, both parents shall make every effort to discuss options, including mediation, in an attempt to resolve the dispute before going to court.

5. IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED, ADJUDGED AND DECREED by this Court that an order shall be entered THIS 20th DAY OF Sept, 2005 ordering the Respondent to immediately communicate with Dr. RP and the Petitioner within seven (7) days to set up and secure a two hour mediation session.

6. Holiday schedule for Christmas:
One-half of the period which will begin at 8:00 P.M. on the evening the child is released from school and continues to December 30 at 7:00 P.M.  If the parents cannot agree on the division of this period, the custodial parent shall have the first half in even-numbered years.  In those years when Christmas does not fall in a parent's week, that parent shall have the child from Noon to 9:00 P.M. on Christmas Day. The winter vacation period shall apply to pre-school children and shall be determined by the vacation period of the public grade school in the custodial parent's school district.

Childs school break is Dec 20 at the close of school until Jan 2 when child returns.  Child's Half sister's break starts Dec 23 at the end of school until Jan 9th.  

Problem and question:

BM has refused to follow all court orders to enter into mediation, BF has court date for her on contempt for refusing to follow all court orders specifically Item #5 above.

BF gave BM notice of his intent to Christmas vacation on June 2005 (proposing child with BM from school break start to 4 PM Dec 25, then with BF 4 PM Dec 25 up until and including his NEw years holiday of 7 PM Jan 2 since Dec 25 is the midway point give or take a few hours), stating that child and half sister were on 2 differnt school break schedules and child's other half siblings would be home for the holidays that coincided with schedule provided in June.  (Older sibling is military member and can not easily change time off) BM sent email to BF in October (4 months later) stating that she would only go by the guidelines above.  BF sent a response that unless she followed the courts orders of mediation and scheduled an appointment prior to Dec 21, BF will follow the schedule he gave to her in June that she had had plenty of time to return the calls of the mediator and comply with the courts multiple orders for mediation.  With the child's school schedule - Christmas day is about the middle of the vacation and the way I have figured the schedule, she is proposing the child be with BF from dec 21 to noon christmas day then with BM from noon to 9 PM then back to BF from 9 PM Dec 25 to 4:30 AM (yes AM) on Dec 26, then with BM until 7 PM Dec 30.  

BF does not want to take this to court and muddy the waters for upcoming hearing and besides that is not in compliance with the courts orders of mediation, but BM refuses to enter into mediation, so how do we come to a conclusion if she will not mediate and we can not enterinto court without mediation first?

Our family can not change or alter vacation/holiday plans so close to the holidays that has already been scheduled.  BM has not responded at all since.   Should I...
1. Write her again and what to say or leave well enough alone and hope for the best and while sister is at school and step mom and dad are working hte child spends the first three of 4.5 days alone?
2. Contact the mediator and explain to him the problem and ask him to make a decision for a schedule without her input?
3. Go by the order for Christmas and transfer the child at 4:30 AM which is definately not in the child's or anyones best interest.
4. Any other options I did not think of?

Sorry so lenghty, just want all kids to be together and have a nice holiday with ALL our children together, oh and BTW the last court order noted the BM was very inflexible with Father's time and would not allow him even one second more than what is court ordered.  I always did like that comment, it is right on the money.

Thanks in advance.