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Please decifer this for me:

One-half of the period which will begin at 8:00 P.M. on the evening the child is released from school (Dec 20) and continues to December 30 at 7:00 P.M.  If the parents cannot agree on the division of this period, the custodial parent shall have the first half in even-numbered years.  In those years when Christmas does not fall in a parent's week, that parent shall have the child from Noon to 9:00 P.M. on Christmas Day.

My take:  Figure out the time between Dec 20 and Dec 30 and divide in half evening the "half" for the parent who gets noon to 9 so that each parent gets one half of the holiday.

BM says that since xmas falls in my half and my "half is over at 8 PM" the child will not come back to me at 9 since her "half starts at 8 PM.  I contend that the time is to be split in half totally and that the order is inteneded to split Chrsitmas with one parent getting 12-9 and the other parent getting to noon and after 9.  I also believe that you can not consider time NOT spent with me to be a portion of my half of the holiday.

Any ideas?

We had this same situation with BM not putting BF name on the school enrollment forms, in court BM was asked if Mrs. XYZ was the childs father and BM said no, then our attorney asked her why Mrs XYZ was on the records and BM said "because it does not say FATHER"  our attroney pointed to the records and said it does say Parent/guardian and is this person a parent guardian?  Answer no.  The judge found her in contempt.  BM did it again the next year - this is still pending!

On a side note, why not take the Birth Cert. in and say look I am the father and I want my name listed on the records where it says father, if that does not do it, find out who the schools attorney is adn go there, send a letter ot the school attorney and ask why as the father of Child John Doe why the school refusess to list you as the BM of your child?  Make sure you get it all in writing.

On a side note, how can they legally provide you material that is only meant for parents if they are not recognizing you as a parent?  Isn't personal information confidential?  If so then if you should question their regulations about such.

Hope this helps.

Post this on Soc's board, he can help point you in a solid direction and is very prompt with his answers.

Just my thoughts:

First - thanks for serving our country.  As a mil mom of a Army Sgt Daughter and a son that was Navy, I can offer a few cents here on this as well as just the custody side of things.

If you have a child and you are active duty I am most certain that you have to provide an alternative for parenting for the little ones in the event you get called to serve someplace away from your child (ren).  In this case your wife is mom to your child and your ex is mom to the 9 month old.  If you are on good terms with her, I would suggest that somehow you come to some aggreement that you can see the child when you are home on leave and times that you will not be working, and that perhaps while you are gone your current wife can take the 2 boys together to form that sibling bond.  You can maybe promote this as care for the child while she is at school or work.  Have your wife keep track (detailed) of when and for how long she cared for the child in the event it ever gets nasty.

If you are named as the father and you have a parenting plan in place see what it says for military parents, also some state laws address military as well.  

I am not sure how custody will work with you being active duty, I am not an attorney and can not really say.  

Good luck in the navy, it is a fine place to be and good career move.

Hi saw your post on Socs board adn wanted to offer my 2 cents to your comment about quitting vs firing and imputing.  My husband had a great job, but then his ex filed for divorce and the court battle began, because he was a one man office in this location to a huge corp.  he was continually having to take time off to go to court, and she would always call him thus he was not able to take other calls etc.  He eventually got fired, and on a HS education his income was imputed becasue he had been fortunate enough to have good jobs in the past, the court said he could take any of the hundreds of jobs in this county and imputed on income based on over $1000/week.  Now with the economy the way it is the thousands that loose their job daily, he is doing an odd job not in his expertise gets no sick, holiday time or personal time and not even a lunch break, and we have to pay CS based on that job over 10 years ago.

I know that this whole situation is pretty danr tough for you and for yor daughter.  But as a mom of 4 kids the youngest 2 that are 13 and 14, and having already raised others past that age, my questions for you to investigate is why is your daughter so adamant not be with mom and WHY does she hate Step dad?  

I know these are all tough decisions but well worth thinking through and being thorough.

Just my 2 cents.

Could you please clarify something for me?  In this post you say that you have primary custody and credit that to an attached web site, but in another post you say you drive 3 hours to see your daughter for visitation and because you do not have Thanksgiving this year it will be 12 days until you see her again.............this eludes to me anyway that you are not the custodial parent, so I am sure you can easily see my confusion.

I am not going to speak for others on this board, but in my opinion any site that advertises for a fee is not usually on the up and up, this board speaks of real people and real situations, and I for one am learly about how one site or one person can have the answer to what millions of us are trying to achieve.  

Just my own 2 cents folks.

Unfortunately we have found in our case that even with a court order for equal access to medical records and speaking to the docs, and even with a signed form from the mediator allowing BF for suceh access, HIPAA seems to rule the roost right about now.

And even with that - we requested information per thecourts orders (multiple orders) the signed form the mediator ordered BM to sign granting father access to records, and even HIPAA forms with Dads name on them as being allowed access to medical and insurance information, the docs adn the hospitals and their attorney's refuse to allow dad to know anything about his child.  

I understand your frustration on this, there are many ways that BM deny time with the children, in our case BM will send the child to us with 103 degree fever and no prescribed medication, we even once got a note that the child had been to the doc that day - had strep throat and did not need any more meds for the night and she would give when he got back after the weekend!  

I wish I had an answer, well I do but it seems that I am asking for the moon in order to ask that the vindictive ones that think they have a silver spoon in their mouth and are untouchable work together for the kids or get a 8 X 8 room with a view of a toilet!

JUst my 2 venting cents worth!

Right there with ya!

When hubby lost his job he IMMEDIATELY filed a petition for adjustment of Child support because of job loss, the court took three and a half YEARS to make a child support order, during which time we fell severly behind in support (howeve rpaying what we could under the circumstandes and still have a place ot live).  When the order finally came to us, we paid that plus the amount the court ordered repayed in arrears.  Five years later, the Title IV child support folks froze all our accounts - I could not make the next months rent which was due at that time - and refused to even speak to us, until I went in and stood there until I spoke to someone that was not behind bullet proof glass.  BTW while I waited I got to speak to 2 case workers that I was told were not in - but then they magically appeared, go figure, its all lies anyway.  

We explined our plight, gave them copies of the court order that gave us the right to repay as we had for 5 years, they said it DID NOT MATTER, they took al our money anyway and to boot when I told them that we were a family with small children in the home and we would be homeless, they told us that only the children from the first marriage is their priority and they did not care about subsequent children..............

Yes and the court runined our credit, the court went against their own orders and we still did not get what was court ordered.

Where is the justice for all in that?

The goal was not to "achieve" anything.  I was simply pointing out that a desperate person who saw no way out and believed that because of the "tender years" he would not even be considered as a custodial parent no matter how good of a parent he was unless he tried to prove his wife as an unfit mother.  In that case he has already relinquished control to the legal system and we all know that once that happens it is a free for all.  No longer are WE in control of when we want to see our kids, or our money or our homes, we leave that up to the courts as they then seem to think they know what is in the best interest of our kids without ever having met them or spent time with them.  The courts come with the power to tell us how and when we see our children, spend our money and if we do not do as they say, then we are punished, our accounts frozen and man times we are guilty until we can prove otherwise.  

I was a bit surprised to see that someone with such an education make a point that only a disturbed mind has the power and control over how someone eles's life should go or end.  I agree that perhaps he was speaking of the criminals who commit heinous crimes, but none the less- does that make it right that our court system has that SAME power?

I understand that man's desperation, I do not agree with his ultimate decision, but I do understnad how a father can be driven to such depths of despair in fear of losing their child.  

Like I said - nothing to achieve, just making a point.  I only wish the legal system would wake up and just how much of this goes on, and institute some help for the families and not continually tear them apart, some of those wounds last a lifetime.