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Topics - thesmithfamily_5

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Dear Socrateaser / who can accept served papers?
« on: Jul 24, 2006, 01:40:17 PM »
My ex & I are currently in the middle of a custody dispute. The last I heard she was representing herself. It's nearing the end of our summer visitation and she just emailed me to ask when "they" were coming back. I'm getting suspicious that there's more to her question than face value, such as she wants to have me served when I take them back. However, I have to work so I'm not going to be able to take them back, my wife will.

My question is:

1. If she hired an attorney and is countersuing for whatever reason or is trying to serve me with production or interrogitories, etc. would they be able to serve my wife in my place? How does that work?

Thanks for the help!

Dear Socrateaser / question on wording
« on: May 17, 2006, 05:08:37 PM »
Dear Soc,

I'm the non custodial dad to 2 boys. I'm getting them this summer & I'd like to take them to see a councelor or in therapy, something. Their mom has the exclusive right to consent to psychiatric and psycological treatment of the children. I was wondering,

1. If I could get Mom to sign a "permission slip" allowing me to consent to treatment, would that satisfy the doctor's need for the mom's permission?

2. Should it be worded in any certain way or just take it from the context of the divorce decree (i.e., I Mom, the mother  & sole managing conservator to Son1 and Son2, do give my consent to Dad, the father and posessory conservator to phychiatric and phycological treatment of the children.)? somehow that doesn't sound right.....

Thanks for any help!

Dear Socrateaser / Modifcation of Custody agreement question
« on: Sep 28, 2005, 08:29:50 AM »
Dear Soc,
We've got an interesting situation where BM is wanting their 2 boys (ages 6 & 9) to live with DH and myself. BM is managing conservator and DH is possessory conservator. We've found an agreement here on SPARC that both parties agree to, where they will start being Joing Conservators, but we're unsure how to go about signing the papers. Oh yeah, this is in Texas.

1. BM was Petitioner in the divorce, DH the Respondant. ON this new agreement, would DH sign as Petitioner or would their titles continue to be the same?

That's the only question we have for now, Thanks for all your help!


Parenting Issues / SS's drawing
« on: Feb 28, 2007, 12:32:40 PM »
what do you think about this drawing? Background, Seth (11) is the 'artist', Zane (7) is the younger brother.... the caption at the top reads "starring Zane as the dead guy, Seth as the hero"

Is this normal behavior? We haven't asked Seth what it means yet, he's at his mom's now and we will see him again this Friday...

Parenting Issues / psycological problems with the kiddos
« on: May 15, 2006, 10:36:36 AM »

My DH & I are currently in the process of suing for custody of his 2 boys, 6 & 10. I believe this problems are not new, they've just gotten worse over the years. I'll start w/ the oldest.

SS10 has issues with food. He started gaining weight after his parents separated. At first it wasn't too bad, he was 6 when I met them and he was wearing 10R. Looking back at the pictures he looked like a healthy kid! Now that he's 10 he's wearing mens' pants, size 32" waist. He has a pot belly, he gets short of breath with a little exertion. He's got the self-esteem of a slug and he puts himself down so he knows the reason people laugh at him (class clown). Last time he was down he was caught taking a half-eaten burger out of the trash, he put it in his pocket and was planning on eating it later. DH & I went nuts, didn't know what to do! Finally we sent an email to everyone we could think of, principal, teacher, councelor, school nurse his mom & our atty. The principal contacted us and said they see the same problems (he also has issues with anger & accepting responsibilty w/ mistakes) and they're doing what they can, but with only 10 days left in school, there's not much they can do. When his mother was asked, she said "yeah, he did that here last week. I yelled at him for a long time!"

Now, SS6 (almost 7) wets his pants. This weekend he wet 5 times. Now, I'm not talking wetting the bed or just little dribbles that boys sometimes do. He is soaking wet, from the crotch to his knees. We do what we can to remind him, but even still, he will lie & say he just went or go to the bathroom and just sit there & not pee (yes, they both have to sit to pee, cause their mom's mother tells them it's "dirty" to stand.) Now, I know that it sometimes happens when kids play, they're "too busy", but it's not just that. On every single website I found it says most kids stop doing THAT by age 5. And he doesn't wet just a little and run to the bathroom. It's like he actually doesn't care what happens to him! Or what will happen to him! And again, when we informed their mom she said "he's just hard-headed".  (She calls him Brat all the time, like it's her pet name for him.)

I believe both of their problems are much deeper than she realizes or wants to admit. I don't know, I haven't figured out if she's too ashamed to ask for help or just blind to their needs. DH & I are planning on putting them in counceling this summer, despite the fact that he doesn't have that right, according to his divorce decree. But that's only 2 months out of 12! And our case isn't progressing as quickly as we'd hoped....... know what I mean?

Anyone have any advice? suggestions?

Father's Issues / Being blocked by the school!
« on: Aug 30, 2006, 06:27:39 AM »
This is the start of the 2nd semester my children have been at the current school district. I am 3.5 hours away. They were put into an overflow school. That school had a good principal who would speak with me. I was on emailing terms with both of their teachers. In fact, I have never had any problems before in any of the eight times my children have been moved!!!!

Now this year. Instead of remaining at the overflow school they're now going to the school closer to where they live. Before school even started I mailed off my letter to the principal. No response. Almost two weeks go by I send an email:

My name is Dad, and I am S1 and S2's father. Attached is a copy of a letter I mailed out to you before school started. I have not heard from you or either S1's or S2's teachers regarding their education.

As the letter states, I want to have an active part in my children's education. Since I live so far away, I can only do this with your help. There should have been a copy of my current divorce decree in the records that came from Springridge Elementary when S1 & S2 were transferred. If that is not the case, please let me know as soon as possible and I will send you another copy, as I know this is your district's policy.

I really do want what's best for S1 and S2 and I believe that it is for both of their parents to have an active role in their education. It has not been a problem for me in the past to cooperate with their schools. Please help me continue in that course.

Tank you for your time and assistance in this matter, Dad.

His reply?
Dad, thanks for the letter and the email.  As you know we have just started school.  You may access our school website for specific dates and times for events to happen throughout the year.

So I try again:

Thank you. I've found that information on the website last year. That's how I knew to write to you. What about S1 and S2's teachers? How are they doing in school? I have heard S2 is having a difficult time and I'd like to be able to speak with his teacher. And S1 has had problems in the past and I'd like to speak with his teacher as well.

And again, his reply:
I have made personal contact with S1 and S2.  For now I would say that all kids are getting back into the swing/business of school.  Let's give it some time.  They both have great teachers.
Have a great day,

At this point, I'm furious. For some reason I'm being blocked by the principal from even contacting the teachers! I don't know what to do and would like any advice you have to offer!!!

Father's Issues / identity theft
« on: May 24, 2006, 08:01:10 AM »
Does anyone know if a noncustodial dad (TX) has the right to check his child's credit? We believe that Mommy Dearest used his name to get electricity turned on..... if so, we'd like to press charges....

He brought it up a while back but we didn't realize what exactly that entailed.... He said his name was on the electric bill and when we all went out to dinner he picked up the check... his grandma jokingly said that now he had to pay for dinner and he said "I can't pay that, I've got to pay the electricity bill too!"

Father's Issues / Tacky question about taxes
« on: Jan 31, 2006, 05:56:07 PM »
I was just wondering who we should inform of the fraud when BM claims that SSx2 lived with her most of last year....

I've looked at the laws, it clearly says that they have to live with you for more than 6 months before you can claim them on your taxes, otherwise the person who had them for that time claims them.

SS(6) and SS(9) lived with BM's parents from March to December... but who's gonna get that fat earned income credit in April???

It feels sorta tacky to ask, but that's the whole reason we're filing for custody of them, that she didn't have them. And we'd like to prove our point!

Father's Issues / Fighting for the Boys
« on: Nov 09, 2005, 10:15:42 AM »
Hey all. Just wanted to share what's going on around here. Some background:

Me & X divorced 2001, she got custody of our to boys, then 3 & 6, now 6 & almost 10. Since then, she's moved them 5 times. My oldest has changed schools 7 times.

Currently they are living with X's parents. She lives over 2 hours from them, I live 1 hour, the boys are in the middle.

I've been talking to a lawyer in the town where the divorce was (the boys still live in that county) and we set up a meeting for next Wed. to talk about the case! I'm going to fight for full custody, and the lawyer said he feels good about it, since she's basically abandoned them to her mother.

Now, I want to do as much as I can to make sure that I can get custody, is there any advice you can give me as to what else I should be doing? What really got all this started is last month she asked me if I wanted to take them, since she was getting pressured by her parents to move them in with her. She admitted that she couldn't afford for her to have them with her, and also that her schedule doesn't allow it. (she works in theatre construction, doing stages for plays and often has to work really late at night.)

Anyway, thanks in advance for all your help! I can't wait to let you know more about what happens.

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