Messages

>Ex is asking for the TX standard order to take effect, but I
>don't think she paid attention to it.  She requests the TX
>standard order with 2 variations--every other spring break and
>we do not get SD over her birthday.
>
>Ex JUST wants every other spring break--

EO spring break isn't the standard order! I mean, anything could happen, but BM's gotta have a really good reason for taking away the child's time with her father! Even for us, we're about 200 miles apart. We get SSs 1st, 3rd & 5th weekend and still get EVERY spring break! Her reasoning is off and DH should point this out to the judge, that BM isn't looking for the best interest of the child. That, even though the child thinks she wants less time w/ dad, she's only a child and not old enough to make decisions of that nature, that's why you're going to court!

>Ok, spoke to our attorney, he brought up some questions he
>thought the other attorney would throw at my husband and I
>need information to help answer.
>
>1)SD is soon to be 15 and should determine her own visit
>times--she has a life and friends to see over spring break and
>summer

SD is still a minor and might not know what's in her best interest. She needs to be able to spend as much time as possible with all of her family, including her father's. Since there is such a great distance weekend visitation is not an option. Therefore, she needs to spend as much time as possible during the summer and holidays with father and family there.

>
>2)Why should we allow SD to fly layover especially after 9/11?
> (attorney is trying to help us know how ex's attorney will
>act)
>
>3)Ex does not work, but will not drive to the closest airport
>to allow daughter to fly non-stop because it is TOO HARD to
>navigate the highway she has to drive to get there.

My argument to this would be that SD is responsible and capable (assuming she is) to change flights and can live through a layover. If EX wants SD to have non-stop flights she she can pay for it, but that you shouldn't have to on your half of the flights.

>4)Ex says SD is not high priority with her dad, becuase dad
>has to work and can not spend time with SD.  Therefore
>visitation should be reduced.
>
How about that it doesn't sound like mom is trying to maintain/encourage a healthy relationship between SD and her father. It's important for SD to have a good relationship with both of her parents and if the roles were reversed you'd certainly do everything you could to foster SD's relationship with her mother! (kinda ties in w/ my response to question #1!)

I think what Davy's talking about is this section.... not sure if it works for modification of visitation.... Also, "he who wants fetches" is big in TX and probably a good thing to suggest a time of modification!

by the way, you have a PM!

SUBCHAPTER B. MODIFICATION OF CONSERVATORSHIP, POSSESSION AND ACCESS, OR DETERMINATION OF RESIDENCE
Sec. 156.101.  GROUNDS FOR MODIFICATION OF ORDER ESTABLISHING CONSERVATORSHIP OR POSSESSION AND ACCESS.  The court may modify an order that provides for the appointment of a conservator of a child, that provides the terms and conditions of conservatorship, or that provides for the possession of or access to a child if modification would be in the best interest of the child and:
(1)  the circumstances of the child, a conservator, or other party affected by the order have materially and substantially changed since the earlier of:
(A)  the date of the rendition of the order;  or
(B)  the date of the signing of a mediated or collaborative law settlement agreement on which the order is based;
(2)  the child is at least 12 years of age and has filed with the court, in writing, the name of the person who is the child's preference to have the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of the child;  or
(3)  the conservator who has the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of the child has voluntarily relinquished the primary care and possession of the child to another person for at least six months.

>Thank you so much for that information. However, what is a
>domestic relations office? I have never heard that term.
>
>I have called the AG's office, where my CS is being routed
>through and they told me they are not "obligated to release
>ANY information" to me in regards to the CP.
>
>Also, they stated they would not withhold, save, CS without a
>court order. Again thank you for your time.
>
>a_boring MO
>CP TX

My DH has a son whom he has never met. It was a stupid night in high school, and he's regretted the whole matter ever since. (Esp not being at the hearing... she got away w/ murder!) anyway, He's required to maintain health insurance on this child, who's 11 now, if it's available through work. But we had NO information about this kid to enroll him in any ins... they want details. So we were advised by an atty to send a letter to the AG office for them to forward to her. Send it certified, return receipt requested. There were 2 letters, one to AG and one to her asking for all the info. The letter to the AG said "Please forward this letter to the mother of my child so that I may comply with the court order to provide insurance for my child." and the letter to her was all the info we needed to obtain an insurance policy.

Well, we never got a response back from BM, but we've never been bugged by the AG about paying for insurance, either.

Anyway, that long story was so you have an idea of how to relay information to your kid's sorry BM. We didn't seal the envelope of the letter to BM and they got a copy to keep in their file, as well.

Sorry you're going through so much crap. It's like a club for these people.... the "Let's see how miserable we can make them" club...

Actually, in Texas if when the child was born she was given BM's maiden name, the father can contest at the paternity hearing and have it changed to his name. Not sure what state you are in, but that's how it works here. Also, I'm not sure if age has anything to do with the matter or not, but on my husband's oldest child's paternity papers it actually says to change the name to his and the baby was about 18 months old.

Something else you might try, speaking w/ child's teachers. If child has history of bad grades (probably due to missing classes) you're going to want someone to back you up that it's the absenses that's affecting grades. Now, you might have a hard time, you might even have to have them subpoenaed (is that spelled right?!) for them to answer your questions to the fullest.

Not sure what state you're in, but in Texas child must attend at least 90% of class, meaning not more than 9 absenses per semester (180 days of class.) Also, most tardy policies (both from when I attended and school districts that we've dealt with) say 3 tardies = 1 unexcused absense.

Oh, and here, to have the records admissible in court you need to get the school to send them to you. Send them an affidavit to fill out to return w/ records. And if they "forget" to send something, then subpoena them too! (Only know that cuz we're dealing with it right now!!!!!!!)

>as well.  With that said, I'm thinking about giving in to this
>new agreement she is looking for as long as my fiancee and I
>can get to a point that is acceptable for both of us.  She is
>in the middle of this as well and is tired of all the problems
>my ex is causing.  Just thinking that this could be a way for
>us to get some peace and stop the madness of my ex.

I hope I'm wrong, but the feeling I'm getting is you're asking for someone to tell you that "it's okay, go ahead & give up the kids for EOW, it will make everything easier". Unfortunately, it won't work that way. Like Sebastian said in The Little Mermaid, "if you give them and inch, they'll walk all over you". (yes, I have a 3 yo daughter.) The more you give, the more BM is going to take until you see them once every 6 months, or never.

Don't give them up without a fight! Do it because it's what's best for them! Do it for all of us who have no chance of getting 50-50 and we're dying to!

This is the start of the 2nd semester my children have been at the current school district. I am 3.5 hours away. They were put into an overflow school. That school had a good principal who would speak with me. I was on emailing terms with both of their teachers. In fact, I have never had any problems before in any of the eight times my children have been moved!!!!

Now this year. Instead of remaining at the overflow school they're now going to the school closer to where they live. Before school even started I mailed off my letter to the principal. No response. Almost two weeks go by I send an email:

My name is Dad, and I am S1 and S2's father. Attached is a copy of a letter I mailed out to you before school started. I have not heard from you or either S1's or S2's teachers regarding their education.

As the letter states, I want to have an active part in my children's education. Since I live so far away, I can only do this with your help. There should have been a copy of my current divorce decree in the records that came from Springridge Elementary when S1 & S2 were transferred. If that is not the case, please let me know as soon as possible and I will send you another copy, as I know this is your district's policy.

I really do want what's best for S1 and S2 and I believe that it is for both of their parents to have an active role in their education. It has not been a problem for me in the past to cooperate with their schools. Please help me continue in that course.

Tank you for your time and assistance in this matter, Dad.

His reply?
Dad, thanks for the letter and the email.  As you know we have just started school.  You may access our school website for specific dates and times for events to happen throughout the year.
Thanks,
Principal

So I try again:

Thank you. I've found that information on the website last year. That's how I knew to write to you. What about S1 and S2's teachers? How are they doing in school? I have heard S2 is having a difficult time and I'd like to be able to speak with his teacher. And S1 has had problems in the past and I'd like to speak with his teacher as well.

And again, his reply:
I have made personal contact with S1 and S2.  For now I would say that all kids are getting back into the swing/business of school.  Let's give it some time.  They both have great teachers.
Have a great day,
Greg

At this point, I'm furious. For some reason I'm being blocked by the principal from even contacting the teachers! I don't know what to do and would like any advice you have to offer!!!

"If she has sole legal, then using his SSN to turn on the electric is a miserable thing to do, but I am not sure if it is illegal."

I believe that it is, I found this article through Google...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7045490
Main culprits in kids' ID theft? Family members
Relatives prey on children, tarnishing their credit histories
By Janet Shamlian
Correspondent
NBC News
Updated: 3:36 p.m. CT March 3, 2005

DALLAS - Shiloh Puckett is 10 years old, but this Dallas-area 4th grader already has quite a history.  A credit history, that is.  Shiloh has had 17 credit cards, racked up thousands of dollars on her American Express bill and been approved for a $42,000 loan.

She is deep in debt and has been since she was just five. How does a child like Puckett get those credit cards and spend all that money?  

Her record is deceiving, because she is not a young criminal.

Puckett's Social Security number was stolen several years ago. She is a young victim of identity theft, one of an estimated half a million children who joined her ranks last year, according to the Federal Trade Commission.

It is a crime, much like adult identity theft, which is spiraling out of control.

Theft from within the family
In Shiloh's case, police collected hundred of pieces of evidence including credit cards, unpaid bills and loan applications. Prosecutors filed charges and the thief was sent to jail for six months. The culprit was Shiloh's own mother, Cindy Puckett.

"I did it because I had to, as a means of necessity," said Cindy Puckett. "I feel bad I did it, and I shouldn't have done it. At the time, I didn't really think it was wrong in the sense I was hurting my child."

While Cindy Puckett served half a year in a Dallas jail, her daughter Shiloh was sent to live with a relative. They are reunited now, but the young girl's credit is still blemished.

"I hope it sends a message to other parents," said Cindy Puckett. "Don't do that, it's not worth it. Find other means."

Shiloh Puckett's case may seem unusual because of her mother's involvement, but it's not.  An advocacy group called the Identity Theft Resource Center identifies relatives as being involved in more than half of the child identity theft cases reported in the United States last year.  

Does anyone know if a noncustodial dad (TX) has the right to check his child's credit? We believe that Mommy Dearest used his name to get electricity turned on..... if so, we'd like to press charges....

He brought it up a while back but we didn't realize what exactly that entailed.... He said his name was on the electric bill and when we all went out to dinner he picked up the check... his grandma jokingly said that now he had to pay for dinner and he said "I can't pay that, I've got to pay the electricity bill too!"