Messages

I feel your pain on a daily basis.  My SD is with us full time (has been for almost 9 years).  I love O as though she were my own...esp since the Lord blessed me with 2 sons and my bonus girl.  Keep being a good SM....they see it and love it.  BM may not, but the people to focus on are the young 'uns.

Fight the good fight, and keep faith.

Carol

I am a custodial step-mom, meaning that my stepdaughter lives here full time.  O has been with us for almost 9 years with very little contact from her mother.

She calls me by my given name, or Lola, or Momo (the little lemur dude from Avatar).  Lola is a name that O gave me when I commented that I wanted technicolor hair like Lola Las Vegas on Hannah Montana.  Then, O had some mental issues and used Lola as her name on some unauthorized internet accounts.  I have always loved the Momo, and all 3 kiddos know it, so it was fairly easy to move over to me being Momo.  My youngest bio sometimes refers to me as Momo and it makes me giggly.

Her mother has all but abandoned her, but I still think how I would feel if my bio kids were to call another woman "Mom."

O understands (at age 15.5) that she has a biological mom who has mental issues.  She knows that I have been here for the past 9 years and that I am going nowhere.  I fully intend to remain a part of her life forever.  I do pray that her momma figures out how to get help and eventually will contact O.  I admit that I don't hold my breath, but maybe someday she will make contact.

I love O as if she were my own.  We (hubby and I, and all of the kids) don't use the words "half" or "step".  We are a family, and love each other and do things together.  Hubby and I have 2 sons together, aged 8 and 6.  They know that their sister has a different mom, but they also know that they have the same dad, and that alone makes them brothers and sister.

It's really strange, b/c if I had answered this 7 or 8 years ago, it'd be a different answer completely.  My family is different, and non-traditional, but I wouldn't change a whole lot if I were paid in cash. 

I'm not a mom without custody as my hubby and I are married.  He has primary physical custody of his almost 11 year old daughter.

I wish she had a mom who cared as much as you both do for your kids.  Her mom bailed on her for 4 years.  Not so much as a postcard.

I just wanted to give you kudos for wanting involvement in your children's lives.

I wish there was some way I could get my hubby's ex to read your post.  I feel so badly for you and your son.  My stepdaughter's mom hasn't tried to contact her in 3 years now, and my hubby and I are the ones watching her act out, and taking her to see her therapist...doing all of the psychological tests, when all it would take is for her mom to step up to the plate and be part of her life.

You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers.

Carol