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Topics - Yoda

#1
Custody Issues / Strategy for 50/50 custody
Feb 22, 2006, 11:49:40 AM
I am involved in caring for mine as much as I can be, but my wife was a stay at home mom. I went for a consultation with a couple of lawyers and gleened the initial strategy to keep a journal of how involved I am in various parenting rolls, and also to get my wife back to work, so that by the time I fight this, the fact that she's a stay at home mom will be in the past and I'll be more involved with the kids. I have been keeping a journal, and so far, found that for meals, meeting with kids teachers, and assisting with homework, I'm at about 2/3 involvement. For bathing it's 50/50. Taking them to school and disciplining (no not beating, I rarely spank) is 100% me.

Texas has joint custody, but it's not 50/50. Normally the mother gets physical custody though, and the father gets around 35-40% visitation. The lawyers I saw said that the courts are not biased towards the mother as far as custody goes. It's just that the facts show that typically the mother has more involvement with the kids. In my case though, I think I can show that I am more involved with them, so I should get physical custody right?

The mother is not abusive to the kids either. I know this would be a fight, and that means expensive. I cannot afford this, and I'm hoping my wife would agree to mediation rather than resort to spending thousands on lawyers. I'm hoping that if I present her with a fair 50/50 split of assets and 50/50 custody that she will accept that - and if not show her that I have the facts on my side. Although this might prompt her to run to a lawyer.

Does anyone have any experience with this when the father is involved with child rearing as much as I am and wants at least 50/50 custody?
#2
Father's Issues / Father wants 50/50 custody
Feb 24, 2006, 01:01:38 PM
I am involved in caring for children as much as I can be, but my wife was a stay at home mom. I went for a consultation with a couple of lawyers and gleened the initial strategy to keep a journal of how involved I am in various parenting rolls, and also to get my wife back to work, so that by the time I fight this, the fact that she's a stay at home mom will be in the past and I'll be more involved with the kids. She has gone back to work part time, not because I urged her, but because the kids are now school age. I have been keeping a journal, and so far, found that for meals, meeting with kids teachers, and assisting with homework, I'm at about 2/3 involvement. For bathing it's 50/50. Taking them to school and disciplining (no not beating, I rarely spank) is 100% me. I haven't just suddenly become so involved because I'm keeping a journal. I always have been. I know keeping a journal is tacky, but if it comes down to it, it won't just be me saying "I'm really involved with the kids". I can show them. In the meantime I won't make comments to my wife about me doing things more than her. I don't mind being involved, it's part of being a father.

Texas has joint custody, but it's not 50/50. Normally the mother gets physical custody though, and the father gets around 35-40% visitation. The lawyers I saw said that the courts are not biased towards the mother as far as custody goes. It's just that the facts show that typically the mother has more involvement with the kids. In my case though, I think I can show that I am more involved with them, so I should get physical custody right?

The mother is not abusive to the kids either. I know this would be a fight, and that means expensive. I cannot afford this, and I'm hoping my wife would agree to mediation rather than resort to spending thousands on lawyers. I'm hoping that if I present her with a fair 50/50 split of assets and 50/50 custody that she will accept that - and if not show her that I have the facts on my side. Although this might prompt her to run to a lawyer.

Does anyone have any experience with this when the father is involved with child rearing as much as I am and wants at least 50/50 custody?