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Thanks for the advice on evaluators. I have just discovered that my nine year old has once again moved, and isn't even enrolled in school yet. This will be the 3rd school since Labor Day, and the 3rd residence. And yet I need an evaluator to tell me something is wrong with my ex? Who would do this to a child? My ex has a good job and I send her plenty of money and I see my daughter on a regular basis, but she insists she can "do anything she wants" becaus of the "papers." She knows I am filing for a change in visitation and child support, and I am attempting to get temporary physical custody until all this settles.

My ex is having surgery today, again, and is keeping my daughter at the hospital with her the next three days and sending her home with her parents at night. Then, when she gets out Thursday, is keeping her home to help "take care" of her. Does anyone else think this is sick, and selfish? My child will miss 6 days of school and isn't even enrolled in a new school yet. She didn't go to school last Friday, either. Of course my attorney is doing all she can, but it's so frustrating that educated professionals can't use some common sense. Just venting - sorry.

A child under the age of 17 can never "choose," but they do have sufficient weight in the courtroom over a certain age. Most judges know how miserable a 17 year old can make your life if unhappy. Also, if possible, contact the school counselors or student services and have them talk to your daughter in confidence and have them get some feedback for you. They need to be aware of any suspicion of abuse, anyway, by law. Good luck

Oh, I'm going to push, have no doubt. I think that's my ex's fear. I have tried to talk to her nicely, and explain my position, but she still swears by "the papers." I think there's more going on down there than I know and she's afraid I'm going to find out. I live 250 miles away and she thinks she can hide what she's doing and/or not doing, but she forgets I'm from there, she's not. Anyway - I just want my daughter to be happy and well-adjusted. Good luck with your daughter.

Sounds familiar, like the parable perhaps? The difference is my child is NOT happy. I don't know if spending more money really proves anything other than I can spend more money than she can. It's not that she's a BAD parent, she's an apathetic one. It seems so unfair that just because she's "the mother" she should get preference. I know times are changing, but not fast enough to save our children.

Was this court ordered, or did the ex volunteer? I hate to take years to get this done. Any help is appreciated. And we live in different states, so it would be different evaluators. I don't think that would be fair, either. I'm like you. ANY help would be great. I'm glad to see there are others that realize dads can be, and often are, better parents than moms.

What state are you in? I will be in Alabama. Is a 730 evaluation a standard in all states? I think my attorney is already filing the ex parte hearing. Thanks again for your help.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I live two states away and this would be difficult. Also, don't both parents have to agree? Mine won't - I can guarantee that. She knows my daughter wants to be with me and keeps stating that nothing will change because "it's in the papers." I never knew she was so silly as to think that papers can't be changed. She really believes this. I have tried negotiating and talking with her, but with no luck. She can't afford a lawyer, which may help. She got evicted about 3 weeks ago and she and my daughter are living with friends. I have contacted child services to make a "surprise" visit after school as I have discovered that my 9 year old is babysitting a 5 year old daily from 3:00 - 5:30. This should get the ball rolling. Any other advice?

Just what I wanted to hear, kind of. I am starting a custody battle today - I paid my retainer this morning. I had piles of documentation, so hopefully it won't take 3 years. My daughter WANTS to be with me and calls my fiancee "mommy," so that tells you something. Again, congrats and keep us posted. How did you finally achieve this goal? what was the turning point? What was your most powerful "weapon?" TELL US MORE.

You may want to research, but I am pretty sure that only public records may be put in your credit file, which would be divorce, judgements, suits, liens, etc. I used to work for a finance company and then a credit union and I NEVER saw child support obilgations on a credit report. Contact the local credit bureau and just ask. If delinquent dads can be reported, then why aren't current dads reported? And never forget, anything in your credit file may be disputed BY LAW. while in dispute, it cannot be disclosed. Also, you may obtain a free copy of each of your credit reports at //www.annualcreditreport.com

Good Luck

You may want to research, but I am pretty sure that only public records may be put in your credit file, which would be divorce, judgements, suits, liens, etc. I used to work for a finance company and then a credit union and I NEVER saw child support obilgations on a credit report. Contact the local credit bureau and just ask. If delinquent dads can be reported, then why aren't current dads reported? And never forget, anything in your credit file may be disputed BY LAW. while in dispute, it cannot be disclosed. Also, you may obtain a free copy of each of your credit reports at //www.annualcreditreport.com

Good Luck