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Topics - wendl

#1
Child Support Issues / Finally....
Oct 10, 2005, 07:08:33 PM
Many of you know that my ex is NOT at all like the great fathers here.

Finally the state is filing contempt, he is to be served next week, He has failed to pay his cs since April (this time) he has had little to no contact with my son (only responds when son decides he wants to email his dad) Now hopefully they can serve him, according to my caseworker they have two addresses for him (gee imagine that, he moves around and never stays put) So if they cannot serve him this month, I guess they will have to on Thanksgiving (they had to on Xmas 4yrs ago for the same thing, cuz they do it at his sisters when they know he is there for the holiday) I know it is crappy but he does need to help a little, hell I would be jumping up and down if I got at least $50 a month. (my order is $160)

Also my caseworker is filing for an increase in CS, due to the fact my son is now 13 and my pay has decreased when I moved out of state.

Just sucks, I offer to pay ALL the transportation costs (but dad can't be bothered with his son for the whole summer, only xmas so he can play good daddy in front of his family) But son loves to see his cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents (he said last year he could care less if dad was there, he wanted to see everyone else, plus dad just sits and drinks and does not pay attention to him)

So looks like comtempt (jail time $20K+ in arrears, this is NOT including the arrears to his other 2kids- due him living off woman) and increase in cs. I know I will never get it, but hell it would help out.

It is sooo frustrating cuz DH pays his CS every month, we pay for transportation of his kids when they come visit.

Ok needed to vent.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#2
I have a 6yr ss who is usually a very happy child, lately from his counselor dh found out he is puttin signs on his door at bms saying "Do not enter or I will kill myself" (mom hasnt informed dh of this problem dh wasnt even informed kids were going to a counselor til the counselor called dh.

He has told me that he wished he was dead as well, he says he misses his dad and is unhappy at moms (a few months ago dh got reduced visitation and kids are used to seeing dad every weekend but one since 1999-we feel this is part of the problem)

I didnt know what to say to him he says he misses daddy and is unhappy at moms house, I told him if he misses dadddy to tell his teacher and see if she would let him call dh so he felt better) I told him daddy loves him very much and misses him to but dad isnt allowed to se him much right now.

Any suggestions to help him, he is currently going to a counselor who just now wanted to hear both sides (moms and dads) but the kids miss appointments due to mom loosing track of time therefore they miss the appt.

SO much more but hopefully you can give me a direction to go when talking with him, he is very open with me.
#3
Dear Socrateaser / Newly adopted child
May 23, 2006, 08:58:33 PM
Soc,

State WA

I know that in WA State when a stepparent adopts a child you can deviate from the regular child support.

So in short dad would pay cs for two children from 1st marriage.

2nd marriage adopts that teenager

So he has a duty to provide financially for 3 kids.

You can deviate support on for the 1st two children BUT the worksheet s and directions do not say how much you can deviate from.

Do you know how to do this or where I can find information


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#4
Soc,
I need your opinion, just in case they decide to fire dh after tomorrow.

As I told you earlier, employer is garnished payments for cs BUT not mailing them in, we are 3 payments behind to cs (which we shouldn't be)

Tomorrow DH is taking in the printout of all cs payment made from 1999 to 4-2006 along with his paystubs showing the deductions (he is fed up) and he will talk to the senator about him NOT mailing in payments.  What happnes if they decide to let DH go (fire him)

If in fact they fire him because of this, do we have any legal recourse since we have continually spoke to the payroll senator but he fails to comply with mailing in the cs payments.

Thanks for any advice.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#5
Soc,

My husbands employer garnishes his checks every other week for cs.  BUT  he is not sending it in, employer didnt send in for 2 months then dh questioned employer, employer states it was mailed in then a week later cs shows the 4 missed payments received.

This employer now has failed to mail in 3 other payments, is their anything we can do, the cs worker has called this employer in Dec, Jan and Feb regarding this.  It is really getting frustrated the employer has yet to mail in a cs payment of this month. I know they can wait and pay the entire monthly support at one time but he is waiting like 2 months at a time.

His court order states it has to be garnished and sent by employer

Any ideas to get this jerk to send in the cs payments. Sad thing is this man is a Senator in our state too.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#6
Dear Socrateaser / Soc--good news....
Mar 15, 2006, 05:59:21 PM
I posted to you a week or so ago about CS intercepting our tax return.

Well luckily CS in our prior state is actually doing the right thing.  I saw that on the website it showed a payment for xx amount, so we called our caseworker and she said that was a portion of our tax return and they are holding the other 1/2 to see if an injured spouse form was filed. (which I mailed off right after we got notification of the interception.

I thought I was screwed, so it was a nice suprise that the cs office is doing the right thing.

Just wanted to let you know.

:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#7
Dear Socrateaser / Changing jurisdiction (sp)
Feb 20, 2006, 06:03:49 PM
Hi Soc,

Original case filed in WA state 1992.

2004 my son and I moved to MT (father did not object to the move)

Questions:

How do I file to change jurdisication of the case to MT???

Do I have to go back to WA state and request the release or transfer the case to MT??


Thanks,

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#8
Soc
I was talking to a co worker today, her DH was awarded physical custody (in MT) partial due to mom trying to commit suicide.

In CO it states BM would get TEMP custody of child while Ex was deployed to IRAQ, upon EX returning he was to regain primary custody.

He has returned and she has moved to WA State (without consent). She has now been in WA for 4 months (WA is NOT father friendly)

1)How does he go about getting his kids, his attorney isn't doing anything.

2) Couldn't he register his order in WA and have the Sheriffs office escort him to get his kids??



**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#9
Dear Socrateaser / Changing jurisdiction (sp)
Sep 05, 2005, 10:45:50 AM
Current orders in Snohomish County WA, (for the last 13yrs)

I moved to MT last Oct, (ex and I agreed to the move and drew up new parenting plan which he has not filed with the court) But the intent to relocate was filed and no objections filed against it.

Ex no longer lives in Snohomish County WA either.

Can I file in Montana to have my case transferred here or do I need to file with WA to have it transfered??

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#10
Dear Socrateaser / What can I do??
Jul 08, 2005, 08:50:02 AM
Hi,
First  I want to say that I am not a U.S.Citizen and  live outside the U.S.

me and my ex-wife got divorced in Kansas back in 1997 and have joint custody of the child. With physical residency with the mother and liberal visitation for me. She is also ordered to let me know 30 days before she move of the new address.

Now the hole thing started a few weeks after I left the United States in 1997. Back then i told my ex that she needed to wait a bit for the child support until i had found a job in the country i moved to. I said I would help her out as best as i could until I had a job.

It was not good enough for her and she said that when I dont pay right away. I would never see my child again. The next time I called the number it was disconnected and she did not answer my letters.

 Almost 8 years went by before I found them again. my ex had changed her first name and last name legally and had moved quit a bit with out letting me know like it was stated on the divorce papers.

She said that she notified me at the address I gave her but the letters came back to her. This is not possible because the same people that lived back then at this address live there today and they have never gotten a thing.

 Now after 3 months of contact she is starting with the same thing again.
She wont give me any real information on my child. I ask for medical records or school records. I ask her for the name and #of the doctor or school so I can get some info myself and nothing.

  She tells me that my child needs something and she needs money for it.
I say I will send what she needs instead of the money.  

She gets mad, starts to call me name and that i had abandoned my child although she was the one that moved with out letting me know. now she said that she wont let me talk to my child again. That no matter when I call she wont be home.

Also she said that she had changed our childs last name when we got divorced but it is not stated on my copy of the divorce papers.



1. Is there any actions I can take for what she has done? or at least for what she is tryng to do again.

2. Can she change the last name of the child when we got divorced and it not be stated on my papers?

3. What kind of paper work would I need for a school or a doctor to give me info on my child?

 
Thanks
#11
Soc,

Long story short, my ex always fails to pay his $160 a month for cs, lives off girls and his family and chooses not to see son.

OK the CS office is going to prosecute yet again, usually it is not big deal they have done this 3x in the past. BUT I got a letter from the CS office:

"Notice to Custodial parent bla bla bla answer only the questions marked with and X.

NCP's Current address, ss # if he has paid any cs directly to me, does he carry medical ins, and name of current and prior employer"

1)  Does this mean they cannot locate him??? Last I have heard from him was in Decemeber and he was still living with his sister at that time, I think he quit his job cuz I got my last #34 cs check in March.

Thanks

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#12
Dear Socrateaser / Dear Soc
Nov 28, 2004, 03:15:44 PM
This was posted by LeFeauox on the custody board

"Dear Socrateaser"


           My ex wife is an alcoholic and hopeless drug addict. After years of abusing and neglecting my children she finally relenquished physical custody to me. Now she is renigging on her promise to sign over legal custody to me. The children are 14 and 15 and neither wants to see her ever again. I am on a very, very limited budget and cannot afford expensive legal council or court fees. What can I do?

 
 


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#13
 Last post cs admin office talked to their attys in their legal dept regarding this attys fees showing as arrears on dh's cs case.

They said they were contacting the cs field off that handles DH's case because they DO NOT garnishe for attorney fees in cs obligation orders UNLESS atty fees were incurred when a cp was trying to get a ncp to pay support they fail to pay LMAO DH has never failed to pay.

This AM I looked at dh's cs file online and NO ARREARS they took that 2K off shows dh balance for the month of $34 and they just took out $207 yesterday so NO arrears he has actually overpaid.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#14
Dear Socrateaser / CS arrears
Sep 21, 2004, 06:21:15 PM
Soc-

New order entered July 2004
CS reduced by $162 a month
BM's attorney included judgment for atty fees in new cs garnsihiment HOWEVER the papers show that its for atty fees and NOT back support.

Can the cs office consider the judgement for atty fees that are currently being garnsihed with cs as ARREARS??

the new order specifies that the 2k is attorney fees on the worksheet.


Reason I am asking is dh has never been in arrears since they seperated in 1998.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#15
Soc,

Not sure how to handle this.

7/2/04 hearing judge ordered dh pay 2k for bms atty fees and 401 back daycare, this was put on order of cs.

Ok so the new order of cs was filed (dh cs went from 812 -650 per month) CS office now shows dh in arrears $2200

Today we get a form to his employer for garnishment from bms atty for the 2k plus additional fees.

If this 2k wasn't in the cs garnishment dh would have overpaid by over $600 already.

What in the world do we do as this was a mistake BM's atty made by including it in CS and now she is trying to get dh garnishment more with additional fees of $285.


Thanks,

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#16
Soc-
Isn't this a violation of our freedom of speech

"cannot make derogatory or inflammatory remarks about other parent on or thruough the internet."

Doesn't this violation our right of freedom of speech especially when NO names are being used."



**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#17
I need to find some case laws on a sensitive issue which I cannot post here due to bm and her friends stalking me.

Can I email you??

Thanks
#19
General Issues / I need some prayers
Sep 12, 2008, 06:11:33 PM
At 6:30 this morning I receievd a call from my sons grandma on his dads side (jake was already gone to the gym then school)

His dad was riding his motorcycle last night at 9:45pm and lost control and went into a ditch, they transported him to Harborview (in Seattle) and died of massive head injuries.

I just told Jake and he broke down and I held him for quite awhile (him and his dad never got a chanse to mend their relationship) Jake is 16 and he dad just turn 32.

Jake is pretty upset, we will be flying to WA probably next week for the funeral, he wants me to come with him and I will be their to help him thru his grieving time.

Please send some prayers for Jake and his dads family. I am still in shock at this point.

It is so sad as his dad just got married 7/12/08 and was starting to act like a responsible person-I feel for his wife and the entire family.

Thanks
#20
It is so sad, I work for a Flood Underwriting Company, all of us there have not been getting much work done as we have been taking claim calls and hearing the stories from these people, many of my co-workers start crying while talking to these people as these people break down when they are trying to turn in the claim (I haven't had a crier yet)

We are having a fundraiser at work tomorrow to raise money to help these victum.

It is truely sad, and my heart goes out to these people.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#21
General Issues / ONEANDONLY............
Jun 28, 2005, 06:08:24 PM
Can you email me your friends website, I miss them all, we had to clean the hard drive and re install stuff so I lost all my favorites.

Thanks hun.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#22
General Issues / Question
Mar 22, 2005, 06:29:34 PM
Would any of you ALLOW kids under the age of 11 to play the video game Splinter Cell it is Rated M for mature.

I won't allow my 13yr old but was wonder about all of you and your opinons.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#23
Children - HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
 
       (1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
           -- Alan, age 10
 
       (2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going  to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
          -- Kirsten, age 10
 
 
 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
 
       (1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
       -- Camille, age 10
 
       (2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
           -- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
   
     
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
 
       (1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
           -- Derrick, age 8
 

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
 
       (1) Both don't want any more kids.
            -- Lori, age 8
 
 
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
 
       (1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
           -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
 
      (2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
           -- Martin, age 10
 

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
 
       (1) When they're rich.
           -- Pam, age 7
 
       (2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
           -- Curt, age 7
 
       (3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
        -- Howard, age 8
 
     
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
 
     (1) I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
               -- Theodore, age 8
 
       (2) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
         -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
 
     
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
 
       (1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
           -- Kelvin, age 8
       
 And the #1 Favorite is........
 
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?!
 
       (1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
          -- Ricky, age 10
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#24
He had so much fun with his grandparents (on dads side) and whooooo his dad took him to a hockey game, he actually took him to go do something. I pray that this continues to do things with our son and hopefully their relationship will grow. His dad is actually attempting to pay child support as well.

I guess moving away from dad opened his eyes and now he wants to spend time with him as where when we lived 4 miles he wanted nothing much to do with our son.

Since we moved his dad actually calls our son 1-2x a week, emails him and they are now talking.  I really hope this continues for the sake of our son. I am glad his dad is waking up and trying to be a dad.

lmao now if I could get his dad to enter the new orders we agreed to piror to moiving,  with the courts and if he would send me the copies, I would remember when we agreed to time where son can goes to see him.  I am just glad his dad was civil and agreed that us moving where we did was good for our son, his dad thought were we moved to would be great for him, which it really has been.  The new orders we agreed to even gave dad more time than before and since he is trying to have a relationship with his son, I was also willing to lift the supervised visitation. (supervised wasn't due to him being abusive only cuz he hadn't seen son in 2yrs)

Hope this new year continues on the same note the last one ended.



**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#25
General Issues / worried.......
Nov 28, 2004, 09:36:12 AM
This has nothing to do with my son or my stepkids but with my mom and stepdad.

My mom remarried when I was in elementary school, at 1st I was upset she got married (but he is a nice guy) My stepdad treated me well for the most part growing up (he had his own problems as a CP dad with his kids)

Fast forward. Mom and I for years haven't seen eye to eye on most things and it has hurt our relationship, for years I tried and tried with no luck.

Last June my stepdad was diagnosed with bladder cancer, he had his bladder removed and has been going thru cemo.  Since then my mom has actually been civil to me and has been trying to mend out relationship, we now talk (email) about once a week.

I am getting worried (my own father died at 48 of cancer). My stepdad is very week, on Thanksgiving he was to weak to go to my sisters for Thanksgiving, my sister sent my mom and stepdad a doggy bag, stepdad ate a little yams and a bite of turkey, not even enough for a bird to eat.  He is now down to 140lbs and very weak, he has always been extremely healthy and fit (he did have a quad bia pass 10yrs ago but did great after that)

My stepbrother are going to visit him for the month of december (which is odd) so I reallly think things are worse than my mom is telling me. She herself is now sick from all the stress of taking care of him, his gold stuff (since he is to weak to do it) and she is in the process of selling their big house and getting a smaller one (she can't do it all)

I just don't know what to do, when I called over their the other day, my stepdad answered the phone, I didn't know what to say to him, he sounded so old and weak, I just asked to speak with my mom.

I know there is really nothing I can do, but I do know how mom is feeling, my stepmom went thru all this when my dad had cancer, and so did I, it was horrible.

I pray that his CT is good when he goes on 12/3.

Please keep my stepdad and mom in your prayers during this time, my mom really needs to get her strenght back to help my stepdad thru this.

Many of us take our parents, children, and family for granted. We need to enjoy our relationships and mend them before it's to late.

Thanks for listening I just needed to get this off my chest.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#26
General Issues / LMAO icky foods..........
May 03, 2004, 04:49:41 PM
I feel so sorry for children or any person are forced to eat GREEN BEAN CASSEROLEx( ewwwwwwwwwwww how can anyone eat that stuff.

:-)
#27
General Issues / Funny for the day
Apr 02, 2004, 04:44:29 PM
I have this marketing rep that comes in once a mont he is a riot.

Today I was sitting at my desk he walks in and hands me a bag of microwave popcorn with his business card on it he says"

Thought I would pop in, kinda corny huh!!

I just started cracking up.

In December I wasn't my sweet person due to some crap going on so he comes in with a lunch box, hands it to me and says"

My wife made these so I could give them to you to make you sweeter again" Inside was cookies, candies, fudge--it was great.

This rep always makes my month with he POPS in.

Hope everyone has a good weekend
:7 :7
#28
General Issues / grrr Frustrating
Apr 01, 2004, 04:48:00 PM
Well I get a call from the tax lady today, (we were going to e-file)

Well seems bm has claimed both kids again (3rd year in a row)

DH's court orders states he may claim oss if he is current on cs which he has NEVER been late.  She just started doing this in 2001 when she found out dh and I were getting married.

I hope we get audited then we can show not only does the court order state that dh claims oss BUT also that dh has provided over 50% of the income for the kids in 2001 and 2002 not sure yet about this year.

Just frustrating so now we must mail in our income tax and hope they will audit us.
#29
Second Families / Just a hello
Jan 15, 2008, 08:13:00 PM
Hope everyone had a nice Christmas, mine was a struggle with what happened a few months ago, but we were blessed to have my stepkids come for Christmas.

The new year brought sorrow, mainly with the struggle of what happened a few month ago (most of you already know)

I am just taking things day by day, I have my good days and days were all I do is cry.  But it has only been 4 months and I cry less now, but I am sure I will always cry for the loss.  I still cry over my fathers dead back in 1989.

I hope and pray everyone has a good 2008.

Hugs to all and since we have internet again I will probably be around more now.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
#30
Second Families / Update for all you oldtimers
Oct 01, 2007, 11:45:28 AM
Many of you know in my last post that I was pregnant.

At 4 months 7/27/07 I was put on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy.

At 22 weeks (8/28/07) I went into pre-term labor and due to the risk of my life and the babies we had to let nature do its thing.  I delivered my baby boy at 1:11pm and he died at birth (Just to little still to make it).

I am taking things day by day, it has been really hard.  I am not online much as I don't have internet at this time, but go check emails down at the library.

Thanks to all my friends here.  I miss chatting with you all.