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In KY, you can legally tape phone conversations, as long as one party knows they're being taped.  SO, if ex is calling and harassing you, making threats, promising you stuff and taking it back, all you need to do is start taping her calls to you.  There is info on this site about how to tape/transcribe a call.  Don't tape her conversations with your child, though!  Make sure you stay calm when you're taping her; don't lose your temper, just let her dig her own grave.  We just put the tape recorder up to the earpiece and turn the phone volume up high, because ours is suspicious when we put her on speaker phone.  Also, you need to get evidence that she was arrested for drugs, etc. (and make sure YOU can pass a drug test if you are going to use "drug use" as an argument).   Do you take child to Dr/dentist/etc?  Get child's medical records---they will probably say "Child is here today with father" in the log for each time you took her.  Also receipts for when you took her.

I wouldn't file until you have a whole lot of evidence that you are the better parent.  Why risk it, when you can wait a few months and know for sure you will win.  Your daughter is worth it.  

We're in KY, too, and in similar situation where parents were never married.

According to our lawyer, if paternity was established voluntarily (i.e. you signed the birth cert. and/or you had DNA test privately not by court order) then "custody" is assumed 50/50 unless otherwise determined by a court order.  Therefore, she "should" be giving you 50/50.  Likewise, you don't owe her squat in CS unless there was a CS order signed by a judge.  Ours used to threaten us with "making us pay arrears" until we learned that there were no arrears b/c there was never an order to begin with!

However, in KY they don't care if you have the child 50% of the time, if you make more money than the other parent, you may still have to pay some CS.  I think it's up to the judge's decretion.

You could go to mediation and try to work things out, and put in the mediation agreement that she won't call your house for any reason other than to speak to your child; that you will call child at x:00 every day and she needs to be there for your call (or that child will call YOU every day, etc).  You can set up an e-mail acct and say that any messages, scheduling conflicts, etc must be e-mailed to you, not discussed on the phone.  Get caller ID, and give the phone to your child when you see it's BM, don't even talk to her.

If you really truly believe that the child is in danger when at mom's then you can call CPS.  I don't think they take too well to false accusations.  A custody evaluator makes housecalls, I think, but they are expensive and we've been told we should try to avoid evaluation if we can get custody otherwise, b/c it's gonna cost a lot more.

If I were you, I'd argue something like:  children need consistency, and I just want a consistent, set visitation schedule so that DD knows when she will be with me vs. when she'll be with BM, and we don't have to argue about whose day it is.  I recognize that a relationship with BM is important, and I'm not trying to cut her out, but I can provide a safer, healthier, more consistent environment.  Then list reasons why that's true.

I've heard that the best judge for fathers is in Woodford Co (judge is a divorced father) so if you're near there,  you stand a much better chance.

Good luck!

Good luck.