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Hello & thank you to all that take time to read this.. I am unsure of the proper board to post on & apologize if I have chosen poorly.  I am seeking some honest input &  apologize if this turns lengthy.. Please take note that although I am Female (& MOM) everything that I write is factual & accurate.
    I am seeking input in regards to terminating the rights of my childs father. Here is my story.........

     I am a Mom of a "Pre-teen"  (I prefer not to disclose the gender & age of child at this time for the sake of protection) I will now refer to the child as "K"...  

      K has not had any contact with father in 9 or so yrs,  We were never married & the relationship was one of physical abuse directed at me. The abuse was extreme & I was not his 1st, 2nd, but his third documented victim of abuse. We were together for 3yrs, 2 ½ were spent with my trying to get away. During out time together father was arrested at least 4times for DV. Although RO were ordered I am ashamed to admit that he was never convicted. Once due to my stupidity believing he would change........  The rest dropped because of his threats & my fears for the life of my children & myself...  
   (Being stalked & forced into your abusers car while he holds up his newly acquired handgun ((357)) ( his relative traded for something) will do wonders!!!   In fact, my sudden "amnesia" caused the Judge to threaten me with contempt. I found out that day that the person that claimed to love me & would do anything to keep me, was on probation for beating his ex-wife & faced 5yrs Prison time...  Sadly.... That was only the First time I attempted to leave him............
   I will now ""Fast Forward"" in order to keep this brief....  I finally was able to get away from K's father while he was still in diapers....  This man did continue to stalk me for almost a year after I left, traveling 100 mi to do so....   He attempted to run me off the road by car, (documented by Sherrif Dept)  Kidnaped me several times from work, (Also documented & witnessed by LE & employers)  Planned to take my life in a manner that someone in his circle of friends got away with. This hinged upon a camping trip that I refused to participate in &  once again I hid from him..  "too long & complicated to post"
 
   During the time I was running from K's Father, I was blessed to find an incredible man who not only loved my children but was able to Telerate my situation & help shield me from the abuse of K's father.  He took us in knowing that every day with us during that time needed to be on the lookout & fear of K's father showing up with deadly intent...

    The states attorney was involved, & I was actually told that my hesitation to prosecute K's father because of fear would hurt everyone.. I understand now that he was right....  Because of my fear, I live in fear of the possibility of K's Father showing up at my door...  

    The last contact K had with father was around 9yrs ago.   That contact could be considered some type of kidnaping case. K's father took my child & hid....    back then the laws were diffent & DV & RO's were not taken as seriously as they are today.. LE would not help me get K back as no "official Court doc was in place & never married meant no legal custody" the Legal hands were tied....   I was lucky enough to find that my child was left with the fathers Mother & I left work to go get K with my SO. That was the last contact.....   9yrs ago.......

    I must add that K's father has more children.... 2 of one gender which he has contact with & supports....  (they are of high school age & 1 has graduated) His first is if the same gender as K & I the oldest, (not a child of 2nd wife) & has never had any contact with during childs life...  

   My question is this............    Is there any reason K's fathers rights should Not be terminated????  

You are the one who sounds spiteful!

Were you witness to the birth? If so... What would make you think this was done "behind my back"?? How much support did you provide the mother for the 6 or so months that you were aware she was carrying your child?  

If none.. What would make you feel entitled to secure the paternal name?
I assume you did not marry her? What do you think would cause her to give the child her last name??

Custody. tradition.... not enough to facilitate a name change!

Are you certain you are the primary custodian??  Or have you been granted an extended visitation?  

 Your Post smells bad!

If you have indeed been granted physical and primary custody of this child, why would you need to travel to Richmond, VA to prove your point?  

What did you do to the mother??  Sounds like she did what she should have done as one with a sound mind.. (maternal name...  given when a couple is unmarried and unlikely to have a civil contact in the future)

Good luck to you! Let me know if you are successful!  

My basis is based on the fact that unless a married couple agrees on a name as a couple...  The unmarried mother holds the final decision..
When you have held primary for 5 or more years and the mother has abandoned the child, then you have every right to petition the court that the child carry your name..
Until that time... Bashing the MOM is not going to make you look better

Just sending ;)

LAK and Ref are both right on the points.

I just don't think one advocated pulling a fast one on the IRS as thought.  
They merely pointed out the very Gray area. There will be no Red flags if only 1 SS# is claimed.
 I honestly see no harm in allowing a parent to claim if the other parent doesn't. (court order or not) But I think that the Primary Provider should be allowed the deduction every year if they are earning enough that it impacts the reduction in owed tax.  

One also must consider the impact the deduction might have after the child is in HS. If they plan to attend college this will have an impact.

Knowing most NCP's count down the days before the support ends....
and have no desire or "Court Order" that will finance continued education.  

These things Need to be considered if your children will need the Financial Aid.  

 If you expect your child to rely of Federal Financial Loans....  

Well, then you just shoved your hostility and greed  upon your Kid.

Unless you are willing and able to pay what FA does not cover,  You may have just shoved 20 years of debt on them.

This is assuming the CP is living in Poverty as most NCP's say.  

Heck, if the NCP is the one living in poverty, then of course they could use the exemption more.  

 It is not about US... it is about the kids.

>I am sure my ex is not married. It would give her nothing but
>pleasure to tell me she was married and I would not be able to
>claim my child. She says that I will get in trouble with the
>IRS.
>
>
>
>She has threatened me countless times about getting more money
>saying child support is not enough. What she wants is enough
>money so she does not ever have to work.
>
>

I thought you said that she did not work?

Also thinking, if she has not worked in over 2 years as you say, they must be making enough to support what they have.

She is working or married and you just don't know it.

I am no tax expert, but I would also assume that if something was
"kicked back"  both parties would be notified?
I have never had an issue with the IRS, but I would think if a SS# came up twice, a notice would be sent to both?

 You are a little Paranoid.  (Or perhaps ALOT!!)

Get Well Soon!

God Bless!

SM

OOPPS! I forgot the Most important Part!!!!

LIP SMACK!!!

LOL  

Those Lip Smacker's were started and became all the rage when I was young.  
 I don't really remember my favorite flavor at the moment.. They were so new that the Flavor seemed to change with every stick..  

However, I Do remember that we all claimed to hate the Root Beer 1..
  (and yet chewed off a chunk every chance we could)

Those Wax Bottles and Lips were tasty as well!  

Can You BELIEVE that our parents Abused us this way???

DANG! They Fed Us Wax!  (not to mention they let us get the candy cigarets if we didn't beg until the shopping cart was at the register.... but we still got them anyway...  We always knew we would get a penny for the machine no matter how challenging we were)

LOL

Davy

WOW!!

I am SAD that you are so bitter and feel so "screwed"

Thanks for explaining and elaborating your position!  

Now that I have been informed that you feel the "Entire World" is to blame for your feelings.  

That is quite profound logic.....

The only thing I can do is this........
 I will never forget to take the time to say an extra Prayer for you.  

I think you might need a few more people praying for you after blaming the Church before you reflected upon your own participation.


Not because I am pushing religion on anyone, but only because.... Well you just never know. It might be better to be safe than Sorry.

Davy, I hope you stop taking so many  looks at the Score before you lose the very thing you feel the World is Screwing you out of.


""Only the Losers believe they are Winning""

"But the Percieved "Winners"  are aware that it isn't a game"

Once you Declare yourself as a winner in a game that should never have been played....  

You Lost before the Game ever started, are the one arguing and yelling at the Ref, Coach  ""The System"" during the game...

And never do figure out Why or What you really lost once the game was over.

 Think About It!

BTW...
 My opinion comes from....

A Child of Divorce, ( 1 crazy mother, more than a few abusive step-fathers, 1 Great but bewildered DaD and of course his Wonderful Wife that I call MOM)  I have also been a SP, CP & NCP.  AND Then Some!!!

So if anyone should have some "issues" (not even posting about the FUN part of my sordid life as a child of Divorce.. )
 One would think it would be ME!  
Dang!!  If I don't......

really makes you wonder!  

;)

 (my aplogies... typing and thinking to  to fast to check for errors)

God Bless!

Davy,
 Please send me some pictures of the JUDGE!!
 LOL

I hope you have some Video as well!!  

I am am dying of anticipation!!!

How many times did the Robe cause the Judge to trip and fall down?

I have yet to meet such a "Golden One"  that was able to cause this type of reaction from the system!  

You must be very special.

God Bless and Hope You Win..

 Or at least THINK YOU DID...

>
>Not necessarily. If you have a dependent child, you can file
>taxes even if you have no earned income and you will get a tax
>credit.

HUH????
Who's Ass did you pull that out of?

Last I checked, the IRS requires some form of income and W2's to back it up.  
 (Welfare does not count)

So even if the impossible occured and the one claiming the dependent earned at least a Dollar....  

WOW, they might get less than $10!!!

If the custodial parent is worried about the deduction, there is a valid reason.
  Trust me! it is not something as little as a few bucks!

Geez, if one would take up this issue. Please provide the court with your last few years of tax returns and request the same of the opposing party!

Or, save the fee and offer to pay the parent the $10 and see what happens..

  The one that takes the $$ might have more to hide than you think!!

mist

 HUH???

Could you Please fill me in! I have No Idea who you think I am. Are we looking at the same board??

I am one of the few that actually Agree with you!
I am not now, nor have I ever been a Moderator. I am also not the Moderator you seem hell bent on attacking.

I am one of the FEW that feels the system is NOT Broken!
 (much like yourself)

It might be a bit flawed.... But I really have no negative issues with the system.

Unless you are angry at me for stateing I felt the "parents" and not the system needed some work, I just can't figure out how you have concluded that I am behind some personal attack.

My beef with you is that you won't stop turning every thread into a debate!

 Use your own advise:
_____ ((So what do I propose? Stick to advice for individuals. When someone asks for advice, give it to them. Stop with the "the system is broken and biased and everyone involved in it is out to take advantage of men" agenda because it doesn't help anyone (aside from the fact that it's wrong). You and the other moderators are the ones who keep bringing up how unfair the system is and how men always get screwed. Even if that were true (it's not), it's not helpful, so you're not helping anyone by your constant rants.))________

Last I checked, I was the individual requesting some personal input..
You are the one that seems to have turned it into a debate..  

In case you forgot to read my post again..................

I Do NOT Think The System Is Broken!!!!!!!

But I do know that it is an argument that will never be won...

As long as there are parents that can't suck it up and get along.....
Someone will always blame the Judicial System..

Last I checked..... I didn't see a Judge running after me begging to get involved!  

When you figure out who you have me confused with, Let me know..

 (the request is sincere)

Thanks, SparrowMom