Messages

I have no idea who peed on your Cherios.

I also have less of an idea why you seem to have so much time to post.

If you are unable to find a better post to hijack, please Post or send me your Telephone # in a pm.  

I would LOVE to discuss and debate your thoughts in in person.

Assuming you are unable, unwilling or just plain refuse to do so...

Please KNOCK the Stupid SHIT OFF!

If you have nothing better to do but deflect people from reading the
HACKal-


Well....  I suggest you take a closer look at yourself..  

If I didn't know better.......
I might think you are my Bitter EX that is irritated after accidently looking in the Mirror.

mistoffolees,
 You seem to have some issues you wish to discuss.

Perhaps you should try starting your own post?


Hijack another post  and you might not like the result.

 "NOT your Bitter (everyone's) EX..

Hello,
I just became aware that my profile states that I am M.

I assume I clicked the wrong area..

I apologize for the misinformation..

I assure All, I am of the Female Gender.

 I am not sure why my post became some twisted debate over "stupid shit"

 The only thing I can think to say is this....

Love your Child More Than You Hate The Other Parent..

If You Can Read This..... Do yourself and your Child a Favor...

Let your child Grow and allow them to Thrive!



Just because A Woman might have POPPED Them Out Of Her *****.

Or A Man may have provided some *****




Do You Really Think This Creates Ownership??


I could care less what anyone that seeks out
"ownership"
thinks....

Regardless of how A child was concieved,  
No person should claim "Ownership"

Disregard my last post and consider this if you can..

As a PARENT, I have only 1 Job.
To raise the child I was blessed with.
And ensure that they become a Productive And Respected ADULT.  

You Know What???  
This Can't be DONE  unless someone STOPS
 thinking about themself...  
 (Or something like that)


If anyone has taken the time to read this far.......

Go into your childs room, make sure that the blanket is covering them the way they like it...

If you are unable to do this,
Do you know what to do when your child is with you??  

If Not...   It is not the (***** Parent) fault....
It is not bacause the ***** refused to allow your time.

It Might be....  That you forgot to look...

These things Happen....  
When You are Too Busy  Thinking About
YOU!

Like I said,
LOVE your child more than you HATE
 the OP

It is easier to do that you think!

If you are unable to do this.....  

Please don't blame the Court...  

Did They did follow you home begging you to provide an opinion about your situation??!!

 (If a Judge did, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE SOME PICTURES!!!)

 Because we all know that you should have some!!!    
 Or at least some "Vocal Proof"

NO STOP!!!  I Can't stop the Giggles!!!
The Image of a JUDGE running down the road, robe about to trip  legs due to the crazy pace....  





 

>>The SYSTEM is Not Broken....  
>>However, it is unfortunate that some "Parents" are.....
>
>I'm a custodial parent, and from my experience I would say the
>system is badly broken in quite a few different ways. The last
>10 years have made this clear to me beyond any doubt.

Because I can't find anywhere else to start, I have to go with this.

But first, could someone Please tell me how I got caught up in this

mistoffolees Debate???  
 
If I didn't know better, I would swear I was reading something from 2 parents ((that happen to be Lawyers)) argue!!  

Just to clarify.... I feel the "parents and not the system" are broken because.....   If parents were able to communicate just enough for the child.... there would be no need for the court to be involved!!!

I DO agree that the system is "Broken" to a point. I will certainly agree that the Judges might be swayed by personal opinion most of the time. I can also agree that a Judge is bound to look at the case law everytime and base the ruling on that.  But show your face in the courtroom complaining with "fluff and stuff"..  enough...  The Judge will soon be able to sift the "Stuff from the Fluff"  If you have been there done that and still think the system has failed you.... You might be the one filled with "Fluff"

 Beyond that, if you don't care for the "Code and Legal points"
CHANGE IT!  
You have every right to contact those that write and revise the Code.

No offence intented... But if you can't find a way to make it work yourself.. it is no fault of the court.  It may not even be your fault.. (As in my case)   It IS a Parental problem.

So what do you want me to say????  In a Perfect world... the court should get rid of the opposing parent??

BTW, as a NCP, my Daughter was raised by her Father. (that was the best for my child at the time)

As a CP, I have begged the NCP father of a son to work with me without involving the court...   This Was Refused Many Times!

Also, As brought up earlier....
I am quite aware of the NCP's reasons for not being able to attend games.!!  
  Last year, it was because of the Child Support they were required to send me every month.  (Even had a "family meeting to discuss this" and told the child + his 6 bonus siblings... they would not get any Christmas presents if NCP went to that 1 Game... You see, he was supposed to pick child up after the game as well. NCP chose to forgo the entire weekend and wait..  I have email that can back this up.

Also... Reason I see sports as an issue...  
NCP refused to take child to All School related activities in the past when child was with NCP on parental time.  NCP made promises and then called me a few hours before  the activity to tell me not to be there... Child was not going...  
 One of my Favorites was a Wrestling Tourney a few years ago! Believe it or not, The Coach was my Daughters Father... (The one that I was NCP of)  The NCP called my Ex first and we all laughed...  I adore and am am happy that my daughters father and I work so well together..

So... anyone care to tell me how to make the NCP ((FATHER)) listen and work with me??

That is what I need help with!
Why turn this into some personal debate that I stumbled upon?

BYW! I am NOT Everyone/Your bitter EX.. or your Ex's mother.
I happen to be one of a kind...
I really would like opinions on MY situation alone..
(From both NCP and CP point of view)

Thanks!

Hello All!
 Before I even attempt to respond to Davy's reply ...

I want to Thank the SPARC Admin and others that backed me up. So here you go!
       THANK YOU!   :)
Thank you to those that actually read my "Entire" post and understood.

So.... if you all don't mind, and the admin is OK with this, (Please feel free to delete if needed)
The following will contain my ""DEAR DAVY"" reply.

DEAR DAVY,
  Thank You So Much for your warm welcome to Your Space!  
I have read Every Word of your post and am happy to say that...Well I read it.. Did not understand most of it though.
But I am Happy to say that I understand your viewpoint and direction.
Everyone is entitled to have one.

I have mine... You have Yours... and somewhere in the Middle.... There is only the Truth...
Unfortunately, When sides are taken, the middle is the one who Hurts the most.

So, I bet you have wondered WHY it took me so long to respond to your ?? reply.   Well.....
Here it is, New Years Day, (I started this reply after the happy 12 hour) And I know Where my Teenagers are! Do You?
At 12:05am they called and we drove three  blocks to pick them up from a friends home.
Not because they were Drunk, too young to drive or because we did not trust them. We did it because it was cold out (Don't live in a high area of crime obviously) I am now posting at a very late hour because after they came home we spent some time togather, talking about things. Now that they are asleep, I have time to reply.

Now Davy, I could spend the next  three hours replying to everything you perceive as wrong about my right to post here... But I don't have time to waste keyboard energy on someone whom will only read what they wish to see.

But, as I stated before, I have been on every side..  

SO.. YOU QUOTE:
""Information To Assist Non-Custodial Parents

Welcome to SPARC, the Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center.
SPARC's goal is to ensure that children of divorce continue to have meaningful relationships with both parents, regardless of marital status. We advocate on behalf all non-custodial parents to ensure they get equitable treatment in court and continued access to their children. In addition, we work to promote gender equality in Divorce and Custody issues.

I SAY:  Think I covered that in my first post...  You know, where I said that I was... CP, NCP, SP.... So on and so forth?
  ((Do You Read???   anything....))

I also wish to say.....   I was not Berating Anyone...
((except when I responded you your incoherent nonsense))
I was merely stating True and Documented Facts. Issues that cause me concern....... and  guess...... I wished for some other points of view.. (Guess I got Yours!)  
I apologize if I Hit a Nerve. :(

As I said, I could say so much more... But I will say this.... I Bet most posts are made when the Truth is close to the true emotion.

That said, (without even beginning to adress Davy's attack on anyone other than myself)

The SYSTEM is Not Broken....  
However, it is unfortunate that some "Parents" are.....

Sparrowmom

Davy,
You said: ">Uhmmmm...Hey dad's...we MAY be gaining.  WE have people that
>are NOT FATHERS (including Mist and Sparrowwoman) blowing
>smoke up everybody a$$ on a 'Father Issues' board."

I Say:
Could you explain your thoughts a bit more??
I actually have every right to post on the "Fathers" board if you consider that I have acted as both Father and Mother in the past. I can also post for my son's ""DAD"" You know, the one who has raised him from diapers and actually Attends Childs events! As a Step-Father, he has earned the title of "Father" and he has "issues" he would love to discuss.

You said: "
>The worst of all.  There are many other situations that are
>equally bad or worst.  

I Say:
You are correct!!  In fact, there are just as many children that have difficulties in life no matter what type of "Family" they are derived from.
I bet everyone reading this knows of at least 1 child that had been raised in a family of "A Biological Parental Unit" that has caused worry in trouble at some point.  
 A Child in Trouble has Nothing to do with Divorce or unmarried parents.
It can happen either way.

Davy, I cannot even adress the rest of your nonsense.  What institutions are you speaking of?  

As a "Parental Unit" dealing with a NCP who is difficult.
 ((that was the original meaning of my post))
I am happy to say that despite the NCP attempts to attack.
 Example: Telling child they will do Drugs because they live with Mom.
 Accusations of abuse years ago with evidence of a "Birthmark" GASP
 Oh Yea, Child will burn in Hell because Mom is not the same religion.
 (Father is OCD and changed his religion when child attended a NON-Denomination activity with all the other children in the community)  
He was Catholic, Mom is Lutheran, and child attended a Baptist activity.)

Despite what the NCP parent thinks, My Childs involvement in the school, home and community speaks volumes.
Plays sports, is an Officer of a well known national club, is a member of student council, is not known to drink alcohol or take drugs, (although I am not a parent that will ever say "Not my child"... But I am fairly certain as Child is always home.... unless away with a parent or Coach. Child has less than 3 years of HS left.
 How many other parents can say this of their own Teens?

What would YOU People think of a person that accused a boy in the peak of puberty of "Wetting at night"??? My Childs NCP did. He and the Step-mom even required child to submit himself for inspection every morning when visiting.  

WOW, So now that I have gotten that off my chest!  
 (Secretly hoping the NCP is out there reading)
I can backup everything I have said relating to my personal situation.

As I said, I have been a CP, NCP and a SP..... I am also a child of Divorce...  My Mother was a very bitter woman and did her best to deter my relationship with my father. (Heck, I am 40 something , 3 kids, married and happy & she is Still trying to cause conflict!)  I Loved my Father, Call his wife my MOM.
Also, as a NCP... I love and adore my Childs Father... I would also love to have a better relationship with his wife if she would let me. (Even though child is old enough to have a family of their own) We never had to fight and argue about who was better..  We were all good...  We were also insightful enough to deter the point when teens play the "I Wanna Go Live With... ____ "

When I was a SP... DANG! I really did resent the Support taken out every month!  I Guess that is why I Never asked for an increase from the person I am speaking about.
As I said, I requested CP be lowered.. (Still was not good enough for NCP who has never been required to pay the required amount)
Heck, I would refuse it if I could.. But the state Mandates it...  Luck has it.... I can live without the Child Support ..  Every Dime has been put away for years and will provide a very nice "Nest Egg" for this Childs adult needs.  (Things like a home or other important life desires)  

That said,
Anyone remember what my original post was about?
That is what I wished to discuss.

Marching On... but always enjoy a positive debate.
God Bless,
SparrowMOM


OOps... Almost forgot!  
Dave, So where where were you??? and who do you blame for the unfortunate incident you speak of?
 Please explain how this would never happened under Your Care!

And then, Tell us all what you did and where you where when a 16yr old was emancipated and had child + 2...    
((I bet they don't call to Grandpa!))
 If they did.... You would not be posting.

Just to refresh..
  ((I was UNHappy when 1 of my children NOT under my care and
>influence was raped by 3 adult men at 16 yrs old, HATED
>themselves, ))

To begin,
 I have experienced all sides of the fence.
CP, NCP,SP, And then some!
(not to mention a child of dysfunction myself)

When I read of a NCP Whining about not being able to attend Sporting Events, I See RED!

  So... How Far do you "NCP" expect to travel to attend sporting events?

As a CP parent living in the "boonies" If I only have to drive 1 hour it is great!  (most games are 2 hours away and we attend EVERY game)

The NCP I currently deal with seems to have a problem attending games and supporting the Team.  

If I can travel 2 hours to a game to watch my child sit on the bench, one would think the NCP could as well.
 (but the NCP won't)

NCP expects a MEDAL for every game they attend Once a Year!
 

 (They seem to Leave before the Game (Christmas Program) is over!
I recently extented an offer to reduce Court Ordered Support in hopes that the NCP would agree to allow a teen to play sports and be allowed to grow up.
NCP refused and made things difficult.  

NCP told child they were to short, to young and will not Drive.
And Yet... the state allowed the child a Drivers Licence.
Hmmmm......

 Also, the NCP did not complain when the child started driving on their own for Visitation.  \
 To Date:
I have reduced Child Support by 20$ a month (only 2 years to go)
Been asked to compensate the NCP Loss (Bonus Money) from the IRS

Child has been driving for visits on my Dime...

Never asked for NCP to pay for Medical or Orthodondic treatment.
 (But NCP took me to court for such things)

Life is the same on the other side??
((No one is ever Happy!((
Hugs! and God Bless


Things That Make You Go
Hmmmmmmm