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Messages - littlebit

#41
General Issues / RE: Cell Phone Recorder
Jul 06, 2004, 02:10:51 PM
The one I bought for my Nokia is supposed to be universal.  On a scale of 1-10, it rates a 1.5.  The quality of the recording is extremely poor. So I am still looking for a better option.

Mine is simply a microphone in an earpiece.  So you put the microphone in your ear while talking on any cell phone, and supposedly it will record both sides of the conversation.  

Has anyone tried something different?  

LittleBit's Dad
#42
General Issues / RE: Where is the other side?
May 05, 2004, 01:45:05 PM
This is the only site of this nature I am familiar with.  I would be interested in seeing the other side's sites, I've just never thought of it.  I always believe you should know your opposition if you really want to succeed.

Care to share some of the sites?

LittleBit's Dad
#43
Second Families / Use registered e-mail
Nov 29, 2005, 09:00:46 AM
In regards to ex not accepting your mail or calls, I went thru the same thing with my son's BM.  Corresponding with her via e-mail had solved SO many problems for me.I saw in your other post that your daughter does have e-mail access, so I assume her BM does also.  

You can go to readnotify.com and sign up for their services for about $25 a year...well worth every penny!  This gives me proof of every time she reads my mail, how many times she opens it, and for how long.  I know when she forwards my mail to someone else and who she sent it to.  It also notifys me if she deletes my mail without opening it, or if it is still sitting in her mailbox un-opened.  The other person will not know you are doing this unless you want them to know.

The service is very simple to use, and you can practice sending mail to a friend to get used to how it works.  I was turned on to this service by another SPARC member last year and recommend it to anyone who will listen!

LittleBit
#44
Second Families / RE: don't be sneaky
Nov 18, 2004, 01:20:33 PM
I don't like the idea of just being gone when BM is expected to pick-up.  That gets to be a bit underhanded, which is just the kind of behavior you are trying to combat in BM.  And also, if it ever comes before a judge or GAL, you want to have clean hands.

Go through the attorney to get clarification / modification.

I always try to choose the high road, but I'll be the first to admit that it is an uphill climb all the way!
#45
I don't necessarily agree with all you said, but thanks for the opinions nontheless.  I try to keep an open mind, and your post gives me some things to think about.

SS is 11.  DH has joint custody with BM being the primary residence, so each parent has (in theory) equal decision-making capabilities.

Fortunately, SS is beginning to form his own opinions without any input from us at all.  He is starting to question BM's actions and motives in a few areas.  Her need to control might work against her agenda before long.
#46
Second Families / RE: great cause
Nov 05, 2004, 12:45:26 PM
Good for you!  My mother has been donating for 20 years.  Now that her hair is gray, it's not useful for the kids, but instead they sell her hair to other places for the funds.

We're all in this together...thanks for looking out for the rest of us!
#47
Second Families / SM getting blamed for BM's BS
Nov 05, 2004, 11:39:43 AM
Hi all.  I am littlebit's SM.  (Usually Dad posts here.)  I'll give some history of past events first and try to be brief.  

I hemmed SS's new jeans.  BM told him that I made them too short so she had to throw them away.

I hemmed SS's hunting suit.  Next season they needed to be taken out, BM insisted to SS that she do it.  She waited until the last minute, then tore out the old hem to where it ripped the fabric up pretty badly, then hemmed them up with big safety pins!  She explained to SS that safety pins are better because they wont tear his clothes up the way my sewing did, and they are easier to take out!

I took SS for a day at the "kids-explore-museum".  He had the most wonderful time!  Few weeks later, he said BM took him to the Firehouse because thats were big kids go, instead of the little kiddie museum that is for babies.

I highlighted SS's hair during the summer.  He wanted it done because his big brothers were doing it.  He was so proud of it, and even bragged to BM on the phone about it.  First day back to her house, she buzzed his whole head with a #1!  He said it was because the highlights were done so bad they couldn't be fixed, but his BM was gonna do it right when his hair grew back.

SS picked-out a book bag & I bought it for him.  BM put it up in her closet because he "didn't need that kind".

OK, now to the present.  SS wanted blue hair for Halloween.  It was the kind that washes out in 8-10 washes.  Guess what...another buzz!  

This time he is directly blaming me and I am losing all patience with this vindictive woman!@#$!  SS lashed out at me saying it's all my fault he had to get a buzz.

I am tired of keeping quiet and saying and doing nothing.  I am sick of sitting back and watching this crazy lady destroy this child's mentals!  I am sick of getting blamed for her spiteful actions.

Here's the question:  How do I explain to SS that it is not me doing things wrong?  Or do I just continue to suck it up until I just rupture?


#48
Second Families / RE: The other side
Aug 27, 2004, 10:06:53 AM
Mine is the opposite situation.  BM is a serious PAS case.  One of the many tactics she has used on our son (now 10 yrs old) is to make him call his step-father Dad.  When he verbalized his dislike for this, BM told him that as long as he was at thier house, stepfather is acting as Dad, and that's what he is to be called.

This really burns me up!  

And just for general information, I was considering becoming a foster parent at one time.  They gave me lots of booklets and pamphlets to read on rules, regulations, parenting, etc.  A lot of the information can also relate to parents and step parents...

One of the things foster parents are NOT allowed to do is let the children call you Mom or Dad.  Also, the children should not use your last name, even if its just verbally.  It went on to say that even if the kids want to do this, it is your job to not allow it.  It gave reasons such as causing identity problems, and causing kids to be more apt to reject thier parents and/or thier heritage.  

It also talked a lot about how important it is to become an addition to the kids life, not a replacement.

LittleBit's Dad
#49
I wonder if it's possible to get supervised visits for my 12yr old son and his BM?  Even now that I have temporary custody (likely to be permanent in January), she simply will not stop playing with his head and his emotions.  Her negative actions in this area have been noted by the GAL, the evaluator, and son's phycologist.  And they have all told her to STOP, but she won't.

I have been recording thier phone coversations for 8 months and BM knows it.  At first she backed off, but now, with court fast approaching, she is worse than ever on son. And if she is doing this over the phone, I can not even imagine what he must go through during the weekends he is with her.

For example, son will sit on the phone with her and say maybe 2 words, mostly just uh-huh's and mm-hmm's, etc.  Nothing personal to her, he's just not a phone-talker, he does that to everybody.  She gets angry about it, starts fussing at him, and crying, saying how she only gets so much time to talk to him, and she misses him so much, and his siblings miss him so much, and if she means that little to him she will just hang up right now....then she hangs up on him!

That type of crying, emotional, guilt-trip, is happening almost weekly now over one thing or another.  And twice he has mentioned to her that he wanted to stay with me more than the scheduled time, and she went off the deep end with the crying and screaming over the phone until he was apologizing and trying to calm her down!

She will tell him every detail of communications between me & her, between her & her attorney, between our two attorneys, and every thing that happens having to do with court, visitaions, etc., she tells him these things.  She even refers to the attorneys and the judge by first name when talking to our son!

She has encouraged him to be defiant to my wife and to disregard her rules.  She told him it was my fault he had to repeat 5th grade (she was home-schooling him!).  She puts her 4 & 5 yr old on the phone to ask him when he's coming back home.

These things have a noticeable affect on him.  I cannot stop him from talking to her and seeing her, and I don't even want to do that.  I just want her to let him be a child and stop putting such burdens on him!  I want her to enjoy our son, and allow him to enjoy BOTH of us without having to even know anything else is going on!

After being advised to change her ways, and after losing custody, and now that son is started to withdraw from her, she still will not stop.  So I can only assume that nothing will ever change her behaviors.  The only thing I know to do is ask for some type of supervision for visits and phone calls so someone can stop her when she start in on him.

Has anyone ever known of supervised visits for a child 12 yrs old?  Or maybe some other solutions.  Surely someone out there has gotten some resolution to this type of behavior against a child.  I'm trying so hard to do right, and to encourage a relationship between my son and his Mother, but sometimes I wonder if that really is the right thing to do?

LittleBit
#50
Visitation Issues / RE: help
Apr 19, 2005, 01:03:00 PM
I am also in Alabama (Mobile / Baldwin county).

1.  What is "schedule A" that you refer to?  

2.  Unless your order specifies something different, the NCP is required to do all the transporting to and from visits.  The moves do not change that fact.

2.  You can get the courts to review your CS without attornys, and for little $ every 3 years.  If there is a change of circumstance, the court will review your CS as often as you are willing to pay for it.  So...go to the court clerk's office where your original CS / custody order was granted.  They will give you the necessary paperwork to get the ball rolling on that.

3.  You need to file an objection of her move-aways with the court YESTERDAY.  The new law you refer to allows you to voice your objection to the court, not necessarily the CP, and then the judge decides.  Your lack of action so far is considered acceptance of her moves, so do something ASAP.  Again, go to the court clerks office in the county of the original order.

4.  While your at the clerk's office, file for contempt.  And do that every time CP goes against your court order.

A bit of advice:  it's good to vent....But....when you are finished, get focused on a plan and put it into action.  Sounds like you don't have a lot of "hard" evidence to make a case, But you do have a lot of information that you can turn into evidence if you act on it.  RE: bi-polar history, contempt of court, instability, PAS, etc.