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Messages - gollymolly

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Visitation Issues / RE: 50/50 Arrangements (2-2-5-5 method?)
« on: May 24, 2006, 09:56:34 PM »
i must say that i don't feel a 2255 method would be good for children, although children differ.

during our divorce a judge ordered every other day rotating schedule, which was miserable.

currently we two weeks on two weeks off with an intermittet weekend, which works out to be 4-3-7-4-3-7. i thought this would be great, because the children wouldn't have to be away from either parent for two full weeks at a time.

now, i feel differently. this 437437 schedule is difficult to keep up with for all parents involved (at times we mix it up), much less the children. now that they are a little older, they have expressed that they don't like the shuffling around and that it is confusing.

i bought them each a calendar so that they would be able to monitor the schedule when needed and they would know which home they would be at that weekend or week.

i asked my x if we could make it two full weeks rotating, but he refused saying he did not want to be without the kids for two full weeks.

i feel it should be about the children and making them more comfortable.

if anything... try to see if the 437437 would work for your work schedule. if not, i don't want to say that you should change your job, but the children really need a more stable routine. and the larger the blocks of time, i feel, make the rotation/shuffling more bearable. the divorce alone will be difficult enough for them.

just a thought for you to ponder.......... from my experience and the mouths of my children.

you say it is co-parenting 'counseling'? not coordination?
like a psychologist?

in my case we are the brink of a coordinator being court ordered... and possibly co-parent counseling (but i doubt it)

Custody Issues / RE: Alcoholism - How do i protect our child?
« on: Aug 13, 2008, 05:22:22 AM »
i'm sorry. i do realize there were some good points in everyone's posts.
however, my agenda is not to reduce the already small amount of time my daughter has with her dad.

i fear for the situations she is being placed in and i understand that i will not always be able to protect her, but Lord help me if something happens to her and i didn't step up to try to prevent it... i will never forgive myself.

other than the drunk driving with her, he has come to my house after me with a gun (with her in the truck)... on the cellphone the whole time saying what he was going to do to me. scared me to death. i called the cops. i guess he saw them and turned around and left. i was afraid she would never make it home that night.

i am afraid of the parties he has at his house because, when we were married i was beaten and almost raped by one of his drunken buddies while he laid past out next to me in our bed.

what about supervised visitation? do you think that would do as much harm to her?
i'm grasping at straws here. i don't know what to do.

Custody Issues / RE: I have primary physical custody or do I????
« on: Aug 08, 2008, 07:21:37 PM »
i don't think primary makes decisions.

isn't that shared?

Custody Issues / RE: Alcoholism - How do i protect our child?
« on: Aug 08, 2008, 07:20:31 PM »
i'm glad that i did not have a chance to respond to the previous two posts that only upset me.

i am very put off when people on this board make assumptions about others. i will just make a mental note of such judgmental handles.

i do appreciate gemini3's post. however, a bit misguided on my agenda at least the approach was not critical.

i do not take kindly to persons assuming immediately that my goal is to take my daughter away from her father. that is so far from the truth.

this situation has escalated to the point that i can ignore it no longer.

it is not possible for me to describe all the details (not on this board), nor is it possible for anyone else to assume the details of our situation (please do not presume to know me from one post).

the danger our daughter has been place in multiple times is not fabricated.

i will support the relationship with her father.

that will not be at the cost of harm to our child.

so i guess i will file contempt, since i had it placed in our divorce decree that we would not consume alcoholic beverages during our possessory period.

Custody Issues / RE: I have primary physical custody or do I????
« on: Jul 31, 2008, 07:49:55 PM »
if it really is 'just a legal thing'.
then why are there so many congrats on getting 'primary'?
are we now condoning the use of power in this role?

Custody Issues / RE: Alcoholism - How do i protect our child?
« on: Jul 28, 2008, 06:17:41 PM »
unfortunately, our daughter is very protective of her father.
she would not do that.

she only calls me to come get her or texts me about everything going on.

on top of that he is very manipulative of her. when i picked her up over the weekend. she said he was saying to her 'why would you tell mom those things'

she is 11 years old.

Custody Issues / Alcoholism - How do i protect our child?
« on: Jul 28, 2008, 09:14:39 AM »
we are in florida

i have to say, i was really naive in believing that a mere statement in our custody agreement saying  that neither party would consume alcoholic beverages during their time with the child.
the other parent has eow beginning with thursday and drinks heavily during every visitation. many times drinking and driving with her in the vehicle, out of state, drinking until unconscious.

this weekend, he left her with a friend told her he went out for eye drops, but went to a bar. she texted me saying that he came home so drunk that he couldn't walk or barely speak. that he had gone to a bar instead and gotten kicked out.

i fear for our child's safety. every time the police have been involved, they have been absolutely NO help.
they actually INFORM him of his rights to keep the door closed and refuse to let her go, when i have shown them all of the text messages.
all of the witnesses are his friends (drinking buddies) or from the bar and do not want to get involved.

the police don't want to do anything about it.

i have no money for a PI. i have no money for an attorney.
i am in fear every time our daughter is with him.

i don't know how to document this.
what do i do?

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