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Messages - daddyinpdx

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Father's Issues / Anger Problems With Child"
« on: Nov 13, 2006, 04:20:35 PM »

           Dear Sherry1 and Others,

I've had temp emer custody of child for approximately 6 months. The Judge (Northwest) awarded me temp emer custody after mom beat child. The child came to live with my wife and I after custody change. The child is a good kid, she just has a serious anger problem. I've recently learned that the kid has had several fights and school suspensions before coming to live with me.

My kid has been in school since August and has already been expelled for hitting a teacher and student. The county agreed to send her to alernative school. She's been in the alternative school for 1 month and has been suspended for making terroristic threats to a student.

The BM claims that it's because I "took" the child. The child goes to anger management, counseling, and girl scouts and admits that she can't control her anger.

Question: will her anger problems cause me problems in the court?

Child has definately learned not how to control temper from mother. The child has not lived with me since 3 years old. The child in now 12.

What else can I do? Is homeschool an option for the courts?

Dad is cross eyed when trying to work with an angry child. I love my Kid endlessly and will do whatever it takes.


Father's Issues / RE: You need to do two things
« on: Jun 12, 2006, 07:38:07 PM »
This is a very good idea. You folks come up with some very good ideas.

I will have the atorney draw up a letter and put it inthe mail tommorow.

My guess is that this sort of behavior is not going to stop until she deals with her bitterness.

Thanks a lot

Father's Issues / Bad mouthing Parent in front of Child
« on: Jun 12, 2006, 02:15:43 PM »
Dear Socrateser,

I've had my child in my custody for over 1.5 weeks. I was recently awarded Temp Emer Custody as mentioned in a previous post. The state and DHS ordered that the mothers parenting time be as agreed to by DHS.

DHS has since withdrawn from the situation and have advised me to administer visitation with the safety of the child in mind.

5 days after the hearing, I allowed for a supervised visit between the ex and child. I also allowed another "supervised visit the next day"

I was not there for the visit, and the mother began bashing me to the child. (Documented in journal and orally confessed)

The supervised mediator who DHS recommended was a friend of the ex's and she also began bashing (talking about past events of me and the ex) to the child.

My ex told the child the exact amount of arreage child support owed to the ex and showed the child court documentation.

As you know, the child came home with attitude and began parrotting the anger and words from the ex and family.

Is there anything that I can do to stop this foolishness from happening. Do I have to allow phone calls and or supervised visits with the same person who also advocates the foolishness?

I need guidance on the issue because this anger from the outside is beginning to stir desention in my home.

Please respond.

Father's Issues / RE: Experience with OR CPS/DHS
« on: Jun 12, 2006, 01:22:19 PM »
4 honor,

Thanks also for your words of knowledge. My objective is not to get back at my BM. My objective is to take the high rode and first guarantee the safety of my child by providing a safe, secure environement, free of gossip and parent bashing, instilling values and principles that the child can live by, and arraange counseling sessions for the child to help clear some of the baggage that has been damaging for the childs growth.

My child has adopted a "poverty mentality" I'm not saying this to say I'm upper class or anything. For example, I took her to the store and went to buy two items of everything and (name brand) and the child tried arguing with me because she thought we couldn't afford the items.

I informed the child that purchasing goods weren't her decision but my responsibility as a parent. The child also fears asking for things because she thinks I will say no or that I will get madd.

It's definately a process, but I have faith.

Father's Issues / RE: Temporary Emergency Custody
« on: Jun 11, 2006, 10:34:32 AM »
My Attorney suggested the same strategy after filling the sole custody petition.

Attorney says that mom has no legs to stand on due to the letter from DHS and the judge and DHS suggesting that the child not return to the home until the mom gets help.

We also have a second letter from the shrink that DHS took my kid to and it also sugests that the mom gets further psyc counseling.

Not to mention a letter from the child to the judge which is attached to   the petition. The letter is also nototrized as well.

Pictures were taken of the wounds (skin removed)

Father's Issues / RE: Temporary Emergency Custody
« on: Jun 11, 2006, 10:12:10 AM »
Yes, I filed for "sole" custody three days after I recieved tep Emer Custody. Mom was served with sole custody papers last week and sent a response the next day.

We both must appear in Domestic Relations court in moms state in 1 month. The child will have been in my custody for 2 months.

DHS presented a report to the court during the exparte motion (judges chambers) stating that mom has been abusive.

The judge ruled that the mom have supervised visitation as by DHS. The case worker for DHS told me that they were not filling in juvinile court because they are not taking custody of the child because I the
non-constodial parent has arrived to keep child safe.

DHS said that supervised visits with the mom are at my discretion. They also presented to the court a document from the counselor suggesting that the mom get further psy counseling.

DHS did I repeat did write a report finding child abuse.

Supervision ordered by the court.

DHS did say that a criminal investigation is pending.  

Father's Issues / Temporary Emergency Custody
« on: Jun 10, 2006, 06:11:52 PM »
I have a question for any one who can answer. My daughter was recently taken out of the home by DHS for reported Child Abuse. I was notified by DHS out of state of the incident. I immediately flew down to see about my daughter. When I arrived, I was told by DHS that my child was placed with the moms friend (nearby) and that a saftety plan was in place.

The mother agreed that she applied more than necessary force to the child causing my daughters arm to bleed from possible belt buckle blows.

My daughter was then taken to counseling which they suggested that mother recieve psy counseling.

I filled for emergency custody and was granted. The child and I returned to my state of residence. I then after filled for sole cutody and the mother objected. She desires for us both to share joint custody with her maintaining physical custody after she finishes her anger management classes.

My question is does she have leverage to obtain physical custody in a few months after DHS "founded" child abuse?

Mother is presently on "supervised visitation" as per DHS.

DHS has since withdrawn their case immediately after my recieving temporary emergency custody.

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